Words of Love
by Montosse
Summary: Muggleborns are disappearing and being killed off. 19 year old Lily Evans is kidnaped and finds herself a slave in a living Hell that tests her fighting spirit. Death Eaters and atrocities around every corner; a sinister plot that would shake the world of magic; and an unlikely alliance emerges. Is Severus capable of protecting her? Was it ever meant to be?
1. Lily's Predicament

**(** _ **Disclaimer)**_

Lily could not sleep. How could she? She was so used to her attic room above the shops in Diagon Alley. For once, Lily missed the drafty, leaky ceiling. The sound of the busy magical streets combined with the hustle of the muggle world was a peaceful nighttime ambience that Potter Manor lacked. She missed her cot, the walls papered with newspapers, notes, and scribbled drawings. She remembered the first night she slept in that dingy attic. The cot was so unbearable, but only after countless layers of thick blankets and old robes did it become a homely comfort.

She rubbed her eyes. The grandfather clock read past midnight. She hated this tacky pink room. The size of the room was at least four times the size of her old attic. The wooden lacquered floors were neatly covered with spotless pink rugs. Floral pink wallpaper with framed portraits that were dusted and placed perfectly, shelves with delicate bone china plates and glass figurines. Lily thought it ridiculous; books belong on shelves, not vain antique trinkets. Had she not sold all her books to pay for rent, Lily could have easily filled every single shelf in the room with them. She pulled her legs from the heavy blankets. It was so uncomfortably warm. The windows were sealed shut from the crisp autumn air, a fire was crackling in the ornate fireplace, the bed was decorated with pointless heavy quilts and shams and the maids filled the blankets with hot warming pans. But that wasn't the only reason why Lily was awake.

Lily Evans would be marrying James Potter come morning. What other choices did she have? Six months ago, Marlene McKinnon, Mary MacDonald, and Lily lived in a proper room in a small wizarding town about an hour's walk from Hogsmeade. They were in hiding. Times were hard. Muggleborns as well as muggles were disappearing all over. Some disappeared without a trace, others were found dead. One day, Mary had a close encounter with the Death Eaters in the town. She had a breakdown that night, snapped her wand in half, and told Marlene and Lily she was going to live among muggles under the name Shelly Smith. Lily and Marlene attempted to persuade their friend to stay with them, but Mary was in hysterics. Days later, Marlene left. She found refuge as a maid in a kindly pureblood summer home. Marlene sent Lily letters. The other maids and the cook were also muggleborns in hiding, but they were all wonderful people to work for. Marlene had a bed to herself, and money to buy clothes, as well as three meals a day. She sent Lily some of her money to pay for the room, but after a couple of months, the letters suddenly stopped. Lily sold everything that wouldn't fit in her suitcase. She could have easily charmed it, but Lily couldn't afford the rent. She found the attic above a muggle tavern next to Diagon Alley. The muggles couldn't see or hear the Alley, but Lily could. It was familiar, but safe. No one would think to look for her there; hiding in plain sight. At least until James Potter found her.

Lily thought about Mary; driven insane to the point she renounced her magic blood. Marlene was probably already dead. It was too dangerous to go back home to her family. The Potters were immensely wealthy and lived in a heavily protected mansion, and they were friendly towards muggleborns. After one date, James asked Lily to marry him; claiming she was the one and only witch for him. Lily agreed. Secretly, she despised him. He was loud, obnoxious, spoiled, and unaware of the disappearances of their friends and classmates.

His parents were unpleasant. Mr. Potter reeked of tobacco and old leather and only talked of his Quidditch legacy and academic achievements. But he was generally warm and friendly towards Lily; it was Mrs. Potter who frustrated Lily the most. She was a woman who lived in the past. Every day it seemed, Lily was at fault for not adhering to pureblood tradition. Eventually, Mrs. Potter insisted Lily move into the Manor while the wedding was being planned, but she had to stay in the guest room, far away from James' room. It would be horribly improper for the bride to be anywhere near the groom before their wedding day.

It was almost two o'clock. _"Ten hours until my execution."_ Lily thought. She regretted every choice she made that lead to her dreaded wedding. Lily was thankful Mrs. Potter was so controlling of the wedding plans. Lily knew nothing about weddings and how they were carried out. Her sister Petunia was married a year ago to a muggle man who worked in a factory building drills. Petunia made sure that Lily wasn't invited, let alone the honor of being a bridesmaid. At first, Lily was bitter, but laughed when she found out a branch ripped through the tent and smashed their wedding cake. Lily silently giggled to herself. Mrs. Potter controlled every detail to the music, menu, guest list, and Lily's dress.

That horrid, ghostly wedding dress that clung to its mannequin like a parasite. It was a hideously ancient. Mrs. Potter claimed it was her grandmother's wedding dress. "It's improper for a bride to wear anything promiscuous on her wedding day," Mrs. Potter insisted. Lily only tried it on once. Underneath, she had to wear countless undergarments, stockings, garters, corsets, and shapers. Each one had a duty to ensure every inch of Lily was covered except her hands and face, and each undergarment was unbearably uncomfortable. The lace was starched and stiff to the point Lily feared it would shatter at the lightest touch. It was a mystery how Lily would ever be able to walk and move about in the morning. The genuine whale bone corset left red welts from her hips to her breasts. How would she ever be able to put it on and walk across the manor and down the aisle?

The chefs and decorators would arrive at seven. Musicians and the wedding party would arrive at nine. Guests would be promptly arriving at eleven. The ceremony starts at twelve, and not a minute later. The wedding feast starts at twelve-thirty. At two, the bride and female guests open gifts while the groom and male guests drink and talk of worldly affairs, unfit for women's' ears. At five, the bride and groom have their first dance, then the guests join. At six, another wedding feast followed by the cake and more dancing. At nine, the groom takes the bride up to his room, the guests leave and the wedding is over. Lily shuddered. She was terrified of the end. She didn't want to share a bed with that childish brute. Imagine waking up to that face every day for the rest of her life …

Lily wondered if she could run away from Potter Manor when times were safer. But how long would that be? A year? Five years? Decades? Where would she go? She couldn't possibly go back home to her family. What if they were gone? Petunia would probably forget she had a witch sister. Lily was trapped. She felt like a fraud. Mary fought with everything she had, and now she's probably working hard to stay undercover and hidden in the muggle world. Imagine living without magic. Marlene, slaving away in a pureblood home as a maid. Then there's Lily. Sleeping with a wealthy pureblood for protection. Muggleborns and muggles were vanishing and slaughtered, and here she is, sleeping in the stuffy Potter Manor, selling only her marital status for safety while living in the lap of filthy rich pureblood money.

A pang of nausea struck her. It was far too hot in the room, and it was probably unwise of her to skip dinner for the trivial sake of fitting in her corsets. Lily yanked the curtains back and ripped open the balcony door. The sudden chill of cold autumn air sent shivers down her spine. Lily filled her lungs with the fresh air, taking deep breaths and willing herself not to vomit over the balcony edge. _"What if I just conveniently fell over?"_ Lily pondered. Her eyes wandered over the brick balcony. The ground was one with the black night sky. The moon was nowhere to be seen behind the veil of thick clouds. Lily felt as if she was floating in the black abyss that was her future with James Potter. What good could possibly come after marrying that foul, unmannered dolt? How many more stupid pureblood traditions would the Potters drag her through?

Lily climbed onto the top of the brick balcony wall. Was this even real? Was any of this real? Lily closed her eyes and inhaled. The air smelled sharp and earthy; a storm is coming. It seemed much colder on top of the brick wall than on the balcony. The wind teased her dark red hair and her night dress. She inhaled again and took in the ominous silence of the darkness. If she listened hard enough, the darkness was whispering. The darkness seductively hissed her name, promising the hard earth below would be a better groom than James. Lily inhaled once more. She pictured the darkness reaching out to her; stroking her face with ice cold hands and muttering her name into her ear. It caressed every inch of her, begging to let the sleep of death protect her from the world. It felt most surreal; standing on the literal brink of life and death. The darkness is an impatient lover … _COME WITH ME …._

Lily opened her eyes. Immediately, she was thrown off balance. She screamed and quickly threw herself back down on the hard brick balcony floor. Lily bit her tongue and forced herself not to cry or scream out. Her ankles were sprained and her elbows were scraped. Was that terrifying voice something her mind concocted?

"It had to be," Lily whimpered as she grasped the door handle and pulled herself up. The hairs on her neck and arms were standing straight up. She could not have possibly imagined it; that wasn't her voice. Lily stumbled back into the pink bedroom, slamming the balcony door behind her. Lily buried herself in the pink quilts and pillows, sobbing. "I don't want this! I don't want any of this!" Lily held a pillow tightly to her chest. She spent most of the night clutching to that pillow and wishing everything would change until her tears carried her into a dreamless sleep.


	2. Mrs Potter's Perfect Wedding

_**(Disclaimer)**_

"Wake up!" A woman's deep voice shrieked. "Up at once!"

Lily felt the blankets ripped from her. _"Old hag …"_ Lily thought to herself. Mrs. Potter indignantly sat in the stiff pink chair next to a window while her small army of maids whipped open the curtains and windows. She felt an unpleasant breeze and forced herself to stir. Her stomach sank. It was the dreaded morning of the wedding. Wishes truly don't come true. "Where's my wand?" She groggily mumbled.

"Absolutely not!" Mrs. Potter briskly snatched Lily's wand from the bedside table. "The bride is forbidden from using magic on her wedding day! We've been over this before. The proper bride cannot use magic; her –"

"-her day is magical enough … bad luck." Lily finished.

"Indeed." Mrs. Potter huffed. She was dressed in a lovely pale yellow gown patterned with violet flowers and lace trim. Her jet black hair, speckled with gray was neatly pulled into a perfect bun. She looked like a porcelain figurine doll. Only to be looked at and admired, but never to touch. "It is already seven forty-five, and there has been an incident."

"An incident?" Lily asked as the maids pulled her out of bed and stripped her of her nightdress and underwear. A few maids were preparing the horrid wedding dress to inhabited by Lily's body for the day.

"Yes." Mrs. Potter gravely nodded. "A few hired butlers were acting rather odd, and my husband spotted them with Polyjuice."

Lily froze. "Polyjuice? Who were they really? Why?" A maid tried to grab her arm to perfume it, but she yanked it away. "What's going on?"

Mrs. Potter huffed. "Dear, you shouldn't upset yourself. My dear husband has alerted the Ministry and we'll have several Aurors arriving as an added precaution."

Lily wrapped her nude body in a robe and approached the woman. "This has to do with me being muggleborn, doesn't it?" She lowered her voice. "Were they Death Eaters?"

"Lily! Really!" Mrs. Potter briskly stood up. "You mustn't ask so many questions and upset yourself so!" She snapped her fingers and the maids removed Lily's robe. "Don't forget to powder her face, dears. It appears to be rather puffy and red this morning."

Lily was helpless as two maids rubbed perfumed oils and waters behind her ears, under her neck, on her wrists, and down the back of her legs. It smelled awfully floral, almost pungent. _"James is going to think I smell like his grandmother."_ She bitterly thought to herself. A powder, just as pungent, was fluffed under her arms, her lower back, and behind her neck. Another maid forced Lily down on a stiff stool in front of the vanity mirror while she pulled at her dark red locks with a gold-handled brush. The maid tugged with difficulty, Lily winced.

"Do you ever comb your hair, girl?" Mrs. Potter quipped from her pink armchair.

Lily grunted through the yanking pain. "Vanity isn't at the top of the list for the single muggleborn girl in hiding."

"When was the last time you brushed your hair, Miss?" The maid asked.

Lily could feel some of her hairs ripped from her scalp. That was an interesting question. She had almost forgot her hair was so long; she had it tied up in a bun or pushed out of her face. She had forgotten completely how curly and tangled it would get. "It's been ages, really." She said with a laugh.

Mrs. Potter made an indignant noise. "You'll have to slick it into a bun, dears. Don't waste your time." She clicked her fingers. A thin, elegant flute of champagne floated through one of the open windows, off the serving tray of a butler from the garden below. Mrs. Potter drowned the glass in a matter of seconds. She caught Lily's wandering eyes. "No, no, dearie." Mrs. Potter smiled coldly. "Absolutely no drinking for you today."

"Why not?" Lily was now being smothered with a different powder. She quickly shut her eyes and held her breath as the maids attacked her face with the powder puff. When she opened her eyes, every freckle and blemish was concealed by the white powder.

"Your wedding night!" Mrs. Potter exclaimed. "You're expected to bear my darling James a son!"

Lily's stomach lurched unpleasantly. She hadn't considered the prospect of having children. Sex with James was already a sickly potion to swallow, but having his children? Lily pictured a black-haired baby suckling at her breast while several other black-haired children ran circles around her, screaming. James was playing on his broomstick and encouraging his children while Mrs. Potter cursed that muggleborns were incapable of rearing proper magical children. "What if the first is a girl?" Lily joked as she forced herself to forget that awfully vivid mental picture.

"Stop sweating!" The maid hissed as she applied another layer of powder to Lily's forehead.

Mrs. Potter chuckled. "A girl? My dear, that's unlikely. It's tradition that proper pureblood families produce one son. The son ensures the family name continues. Only after a healthy son is born first, comes a daughter. It would be her duty to marry another respectable wizard and make you a happy grandmother." Her eyes welled with tears of happiness. "Ooh, could you imagine, my dear Lily. Your own daughters, daughter-in-laws, and granddaughters could be wearing this very wedding gown! Oh, Lily, could you imagine …?"

Lily feigned a smile. The thought of being the grand matron of the Potter family nauseated her. It was time to put on the dress.

"Oh, darling!" Mrs. Potter beamed. "You look angelic!" She conjured a lace handkerchief and daintily wiped her eyes.

Lily only looked in horror at the reflection in the vanity mirror. That was not Lily Evans. A powdered, poised, and perfect doll stared back. The corsets and shapers smoothed her body into an unnaturally slim figure. The powder was layered with rouge on her cheeks, rosy lipstick, and charcoal on her lids and eyelashes. The dress was too perfect. Not a single wrinkle, broken seam, or tear. The train was long and heavy, but arranged around her like a pool of old lace. A lump in her throat started to rise; her face got hot. Her hands twitched and tried to clench into fists. Lily put on her most ridiculous smile while forcing down the scream burning in her throat. "Oh, this is too lovely!"

Mrs. Potter forced a bouquet of pink hydrangeas into Lily's hands. "The gardener just finished trimming these. Don't hold them anywhere near the dress, dear. No stains on your perfect day."

"Yes, ma'am." Lily choked out.

"Fix that posture!" Mrs. Potter snapped. "Stomach in! Shoulders back! Unlock those knees! Do you want to faint in front of our guests? No, dear, shoulders DOWN." Each reprimand came with a rough adjustment from the old croon's hands. "Elbows to your waist! Hands together, holding the bouquet … with BOTH hands, dear."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Now, about that face," Mrs. Potter squinted closely. Lily could smell the woman's sickly floral perfume. Dead flowers. "Tilt your chin up. Raise your eyebrows … no, too high. There. Get that goofy grin off your face, dear. Subtle smile, lips slightly apart." Mrs. Potter beamed and gestured her maids to see her handiwork. "Look! Oh Lily, you are perfectly marvelous! Isn't she marvelous, dears?" The maids smoothed out any imperfections that may have lingered or appeared. A maid carefully pinned the veil to Lily's bun. Mrs. Potter added a small flower crown of hydrangea buds and petals. The bride of James was complete. She turned to her maids, "Dears, I would like a moment with my daughter-in-law. Excuse us, please."

A maid gave Lily's shoulder a reassuring, gentle squeeze. The rest looked back one last time in admiration, then left the room; abandoning Lily all alone with Mrs. Potter. _"Don't go …"_ Lily silently pleaded for them to stay behind. Anything, or anyone to rescue her from the woman's grasp.

"Now, Lily," Mrs. Potter began in a suddenly low voice. Her tears of happiness vanished and were replaced by steely glare. "This is exactly how you will stand in front of my son and our guests. You will not fidget, change your stance, and don't even think about speaking. The only words you say are 'I do' and nothing else." Mrs. Potter adjusted Lily's veil once more. "You don't know many of our guests, but you are expected to act friendly and civil towards them. They are your family now, so treat them as such. But do remember to act angelic, you are James' bride."

"I'm worried." Lily blurted. "You said you alerted the Ministry that there were imposters with Polyjuice. The Ministry is crawling with Death Eaters and spies. If they get so much as a whisper of muggleborn marriage, there will be more!"

Mrs. Potter froze, mouth agape. "Lily. Dear, darling Lily. You are still under the impression that you're being hunted." She shook her head with cold disapproval.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I lost many friends at the hands of Death Eaters! Muggleborns are being targeted and killed! You cannot ignore this!" Lily pleaded. She could feel her eyes getting wet and her throat started to sting. "I lost my friends and family to protect them! This is real and happening!" Lily grasped Mrs. Potters arms and looked her in the eyes. "You and your guests are in danger!" Lily gasped as Mrs. Potter slapped her across the cheek.

"What is this?" Mrs. Potter grabbed Lily's shoulders and forced her to sit down on the uncomfortable stool in front of the mirror. She leaned in close to Lily's ear. "You _will_ marry James as planned; and if you run out or disrupt today in the slightest, I will see to it that you are locked away in an asylum, psychotic, silly bitch!" She hissed in Lily's ear, "There is no danger, but the insane stories you mudbloods concoct for attention! We took you in with open arms, but I will not tolerate you badgering my James with such nonsense!"

The bedroom door opened. A maid popped her head in. "Ma'am, is there any trouble? We heard a commotion."

Mrs. Potter switched faces and once more put on the façade as the proud mother-in-law. "Oh, dearie, it's nothing. Poor Lily is nervous on her big day."

"Poor thing." The maid looked sympathetically at Lily. "Your cousins are here early. They insist on seeing you, ma'am. You know how they are."

Mrs. Potter clasped her hands together in glee. "Clementine and Jane? Ooh, dearie, tell them I'll be seeing them shortly. I'm finishing up with Lily. Set out a tray of tea and cakes for them; they've had a long journey."

"Yes ma'am." Alone again.

Mrs. Potter turned to Lily. "You will stay right here in this room until it is time for the ceremony. One of my maids will retrieve you and escort you to the garden. There, my husband will walk you down the aisle, and you will stand at that bloody altar. Do I make myself clear, Lily?"

Lily could only nod.

"Good." Mrs. Potter threateningly gripped Lily's shoulders before briskly turning around and closing the door sharply behind her.


	3. Finding Her Prince

_**(Disclaimer)**_

Lily looked at herself in the mirror. _"I'm not a bride. I'm another one of that wretched woman's stupid antique figurines! I'm a stupid porcelain doll! She might as well have me sit atop the shelf next to the plates and candles!"_ Lily suddenly began to feel aware of how painful the ancient outfit was. The satin booties were two sizes too small and pinched her toes. She could feel the back of her ankles being rubbed raw from the stiff leather lining. Her breathing had become shallow from the corset, tighter than ever. Every inch of her scalp itched to be freed from that tight bun. The powdery makeup itched her face. Why did her wrists hurt? _"What the hell are you doing here?"_ Why does everything hurt? _"You don't belong here. Run away now before it's too late. Run."_

"I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS!" Lily shrieked as she hurled the bouquet across the room. It struck a shelf and knocked over several glass figurines. They fell to the wooden floor and burst into pieces. Lily collapsed into her hands and sobbed. She ruined everything. Mrs. Potter would kill her for sure. Lily grunted and ripped the veil and flowers from her head. She fumbled around with her hair until ever last pin was yanked out of that perfect bun. Lily felt a tremendous wave of relief as her messy curls grazed her back. She looked at the torn fabric and petals in her hand.

Rather than feeling guilty for destroying a Potter family heirloom, a wicked smile crept across her face. Lily leapt up from the vanity; causing several seams to audibly rip. She went to the desk and fumbled around the drawers until she found what she was looking for. Scissors. "Sorry, James." Lily bitterly spat as she snipped away at lace sleeves. "I won't be another one of your stupid conquests." She attempted to bend over and cut off the ridiculously heavy train, but the corsets locked her standing up. She grunted and groaned as she cut the buttons starting from the stiff collar and down to her chest. The buttons stopped there, but Lily kept cutting down. "Finally …" She murmured as she stepped out of the destroyed, starchy lace mountain.

The windows were open. Lily briefly worried if any of the guests heard her screams. She couldn't see the garden from any of her windows; but then again, if anyone heard her, they would have already checked on her. For once, Lily could focus on the atmosphere. The Potters must have hired an orchestra; she could hear them playing. There was a pleasant smell of vanilla and sugar lingering in the air, mixed with Mr. Potter's clay pipe, and a freshly manicured lawn. Lily got a glimpse of herself in the mirror and couldn't help but giggle slightly. The corsets ridiculously pushed her breasts up and made her waist look unnaturally thin. She looked like a sultry pin up girl, complete with white garters holding up sheer silk stockings. The charcoal was streaked down her cheeks like war paint. "If James could see me now." She snorted.

Her moment was interrupted by a gentle knock. Lily froze. _"Oh, God. What if it's time for the ceremony?"_ She started to panic. She quickly grabbed her robe and wrapped it around her. "Is it time?" Lily called out. There was only another gentle knock. _"What if it's the Death Eaters? What if they're here?"_ Lily cursed Mrs. Potter for being so ignorant and taking her wand. She picked up her bouquet, and tip-toed towards the door, careful not to let the heels of her booties hit the wooden floor. "Is it time?" Lily called out again. She gripped the door handle and whipped the door open.

A little girl squealed with surprise. Lily was relieved. "Are you lost?" She asked the child. Jet black hair, this little girl had to be a Potter. "What's your name? Where's your mum?"

"Are you a princess?" The little girl asked, staring at Lily in amazement. "You look like a princess."

"What? Where's your mummy at?" Lily asked again.

The little girl smiled. "My mummy said I'm supposed to give flowers to the princess."

She must be one of the flower girls. The wedding would surely be starting soon and Mrs. Potter or the mother would be looking for her. Lily had to think of something fast. "Yes, I am a princess." She spoke in a playful royal voice. "What is your name, little girl?"

"Emily." The little girl giggled and blushed. "Where's the prince?"

"I'm sorry?"

Emily started fidgeting with her dress. "If you're a princess, where's the prince?"

"Emily," Lily started, still in a playful voice, "I don't know where my prince is." The music outside was coming to a halt. The ceremony was about to begin. She could hear the faint voice of Mr. Potter reading a prepared speech. Someone would be coming at any moment to find either Lily or the little girl. She had to think of something quick. She knelt down and looked Emily. "Do you want to help me find the prince?"

"Miss?" Footsteps were approaching fast down the corridor. It was the maid. "Miss! Something's wrong! You need to come with me?"

Lily grabbed little Emily's hand and ran out of the corridor. She was so unfamiliar with Potter Manor, she didn't know if they were going the right way. "Here, up these stairs, quickly now." Lily led the little girl past a narrow hallway of Potter family portraits and more shelved lined with Mrs. Potter's collectibles. She was thankful the wooden stairs were carpeted. Halfway up, she paused. Voices were coming from upstairs. _"They're here."_ Lily thought.

Emily squealed and let go of Lily's hand. "He's up there! He's up there! Can you hear him?" She ran up the stairs before Lily could grab her.

"No, Emily! Don't!" Lily shouted and ran after her. "Come back!" Emily was already out of sight. _"Fucking hell."_ Lily no longer cared about walking softly. Disgruntled shouts and screams arose from the garden. Lily's worst fears were confirmed. The Death Eaters were here. _"Most of the guests will be lucky enough, if they apparate out. The rest, the Death Eaters won't be so friendly to guests of a blood-traitor wedding. They'll be scouring for muggleborns, and as the bride, I'm their first target."_ Lily was torn between running back down the stairs, or going after Emily. _"She's just a child, dammit, she doesn't know what's going on!"_ Lily sprinted up the stairs. "Emily? Emily!"

Bright lights and louder screams. Lily looked out a window and saw a dozen black figures with masks appear. All around them, wedding guests were cast into the air or thrown across the field. Mrs. Potter's hydrangea garden burst into flames. Several guests pulled their wands out and charmed the tables and chairs to barrel towards the masked figures. The Death Eaters merely dodged them, then sent them spinning through the air as splinters. A chair leg hurled through the window. Lily screamed and ducked.

The chair leg smashed through the glass and knocked an oil lamp over. The drapes and carpet were aflame. Lily heard Emily yell from another room down the corridor. _"Oh, God! What if they found her?!"_ Lily's heart raced as she scrambled up. "EMILY! I'M COMING!" Lily choked. The smoke and flame was spreading rapidly. One of her booties snagged on the carpet and brought her down. Her face was dangerously close to the fire. Emily screamed again. "EMILY!" Lily felt weak. She couldn't lift her arms to pull herself up. _"What the hell is happening to me?"_ Lily forced herself to roll over to her stomach. Her breath shortened. _"No, no, no! Am I falling asleep? What's going on?!"_ It took every last ounce of energy to lift her arms and crawl away from the flames. _"Is the house floating …?"_ It was incredibly bizarre. Why couldn't she move? Suddenly, the flames vanished. The toxic smoke was still in the air.

"Look what we got here." A muffled rough man's voice was above her. A heavy boot suddenly crushed her back, pinning her to the floor.

Another man laughed. "Looks like we caught ourselves a runaway bride!"

A woman joined them. "Mudblood whore." Lily felt a kick to her side. Where was her voice? Her energy? "I think this one's on the list. Look at that hair. It's a damn shame…"

"Clever little bitch."

The woman snorted. "Indeed. She's managed to cover her tracks for this long. This one almost slipped through our grasp. Lucky, lucky us." The woman snickered wickedly. Lily felt the boot removed from her back. Rough, gloved hands forced her to turn over. It was blurry. Not a doubt in her mind these people were Death Eaters. She couldn't see their faces. The woman bent down and grasped Lily's chin. "Such a pretty face. She might be spared, but I doubt it. They've been looking for this one for a while."

The men chortled. "Keep her alive long enough. The boys will all want a turn with her before she's cold."

"Sick fucks, you are. The whole lot of you. At least wait until after it's decided." The woman grumbled as she pointed her wand at Lily's face. She mumbled a curse and everything went black.


	4. The Darkness

**(** _ **Disclaimer)**_

 __ _Darkness. Darkness wherever she looked. The void surrounded her. Had she finally submitted to the darkness that called out to her? Was she dead? Was this it? She could smell that earthy, musky scent. The exact scent several hours before a rainstorm. Whispering voices surrounded her. Lily couldn't distinguish what they were saying; it made her feel uneasy. Was she outside or inside? Was she alive or dead? "Hello?" Lily called out._

 _Nothing._

 _Lily was relieved to have mobility again. She was still dressed in the ridiculous undergarments, robe, and satin booties, but they didn't feel uncomfortable. In fact, she couldn't feel them at all. Is this what it was like to be a ghost? Unable to feel or touch? She got to her feet and stared around the void. "Is anybody there?" She called._

 _"… bloody fuck do you want?"_

 _"Get off her."_

 _"Wait your bloody turn, mate. It doesn't hurt to knock either."_

 _"Get off her."_

 _"Oi! Put your wand down! Calm down! If you want her so badly, fucking take her."_

 _"Don't touch her!"_

 _"Fuck off, mate!"_

 _The rest faded into indistinguishable whispers again. The second man … Lily thought she recognized that voice. "Are you there?" Lily called out; louder this time. "I can hear you! Where are you? Hello? Please!" The whispers continued._

 _Lily, frustrated, but curious about where she was, began walking. She could hear her footsteps faintly echoing in the darkness. The darkness embraced her. It was cool and sent shivers down her spine, but it gave her a sense of tranquility that Lily had not felt in years. The darkness didn't allow Death Eaters, the Potters, Petunia, or Mary and Marlene in. No dread of weddings, bearing children, or impressing in-laws. It wasn't significant anymore. Lily felt bliss. Suddenly, the whispers turned into a surge of yells and screams. She almost had to cover her ears._

 _"… put her down, you animal! You bloody brute!"_

 _"Lily? Lily? Oh, God! He killed Lily!"_

 _"Lily? Can you hear me? Lily? Lily!"_

 _"You fucking monster! Put her down! She's dead! Leave her be, dammit!"_

 _The ground underneath Lily suddenly shifted, but she was catatonic. Was she really dead? This is death? Was this the afterlife? Why was the afterlife so dark? Lily felt hot tears slide down her face. "Is this it, then?" She whispered. "Am I truly dead?"_

 _"…LILY…" It was that warped voice she heard the night before. The voice that tempted her to jump to hear death._

 _"Who are you?" Lily called out, angry and hurt. "What have you done with me?"_

 _"…LILY …" The voice said._

 _"Am I dead?" Lily shouted. "Where am I?"_

 _"…LILY … HOLD ON …"_

 _The void shifted once more. Everything was shaking, spinning. Lily would have dropped to ground to hold on, but she had nothing to lose in this world of darkness. "Why are you doing this to me?!" She shouted out. "Who are you?!" The mysterious voice disappeared. It was replaced with more whispers._

 _"… a bloody shame, really. She was a pretty one. I doubt we'll find any others like her, at least not as soft and lovely."_

 _"Not a single finger touches her! Do you hear me? No one touches her. She's mine."_

 _Lily screamed out again. "Who are you?"_

 _"….ARE YOU THERE? … LILY…"_

 _Lily jumped, waving her arms. Could it see her? Feel her? Hear her? "I'm here!" Lily cried. Her voice cracked as more tears fell. She still jumped in the void; wildly looking around and praying to find someone … something … anything. "I'm here! See me!"_

 _"…. I SEE YOU …"_

 _"... not wise to keep her. This one might crack, just like the others. The pretty ones always crack first. Just the way things are. What if she escapes? This one slipped through our fingers plenty times before, she could do it again."_

 _"She won't."_

 _The voices slowed and lowered into whispers once again. Lily was frantic. "Please! Come back!" The void kept shifting and spinning around her. "Please!" Lily whispered as she crumpled to the ground. "Please come back … please come back … please come back." The darkness began to dissolve around her, getting brighter, turning to white, almost blinding …. "Please come back!" Lily stared into the blinding white. "I'm scared! Please! Please … come back …" The blinding whiteness surrounded her. Drowning …_


	5. The Prince in a Mask

_**(Disclaimer)**_

Another masked man appeared in the corridor. He took in the stench of smoke and the powdery ash that floated in the air. Some parts of the drapes and carpets were gently smoldering; the ghost of a vapor. "What happened in here?"

The masked woman grinned. "We got one."

"Who?"

"Another Mudblood. And not just any filthy mudblood, mind, but the lucky little vanishing bitch." The woman laughed cruelly. "Her luck ran out today. We caught her running up the stairs, chasing after a blood traitor brat. The bitch went down face-first; there's no way of knowing if it was Avery's hex or those pathetic shoes. Thankfully, none of that hair caught fire; it could be sold to a wigmaker for quite a few galleons, I'd wager."

The man glared at the woman for her cold-blooded nature. She was a model insane asylum inhabitant. "Where is she?"

"The blood traitor brat?" The woman snorted. "Rounded up with the rest of 'em in the garden. They breed like filthy parasites …"

"The mudblood. Where's the mudblood?"

The woman rolled her eyes. "Where do you think? Avery took her with him to a bedroom; couldn't wait to get his hands on her, greedy sod …. Hey! You'll have to wait! Mulciber is next!" The woman shouted as the masked man rudely brushed past her. "Bloody pigs, the lot of them…"

The man briskly walked through the narrow corridor; not caring if he knocked down shelves of plates, porcelain dolls, or glass figurines. Mulciber was standing in front of a closed door with his mask removed. A sinister grin replaced it. Once seeing the man, Mulciber smirked. "Should have gotten here sooner, my friend. We got a pretty one in there."

"Out of my way."

Mulciber ignored him. "A runaway mudblood bride. You should have seen her; dressed like a dirty tart from Knockturn Alley."

"Move."

Mulciber stopped talking and scrunched his thick brows into a scowl. "No, no. Now see here, Avery brought her down, it's only fair he goes first. I'm next." He lowered his voice, "Rosier called dibs after, but since you got that … preference … for red haired girls, I'll let you go after me. Now, I think that's fair …. Fucking hell!" The man roughly shoved his friend aside and whipped the door open.

"What the bloody fuck do you want?!" Avery yelled. He was hunched over an unmoving body, black robes behind him, cock out. The girl underneath him had an ankle tied to the bedpost, Avery held the other up.

"Get off her." The man bristled at the sight of him.

Avery glowered and covered his cock with a nearby sham. "Wait your bloody turn mate. It doesn't hurt to knock either." He flipped off the man.

"Get off her." The man raised his wand, prepared to kill.

Avery's eyes widened. "Oi! Put your wand down! Calm down!" He quickly got off the bed and crammed his cock back into his pants. He threw the sham at the man. "If you want her so badly, fucking take her." Avery sneered as he sarcastically planted a slimy kiss on the woman.

"Don't touch her!" The man bellowed.

"Fuck off, mate!" Avery shoved the man away and stormed out of the bedroom. The man almost recoiled.

He strongly desired to abandon magic and strike Avery down with his bare hands. It took every fiber of his being to resist. He was alone with her. Even hexed out of consciousness, she still had so much control over him. Only she could turn him from a bitter young man into a monster of rage. It anguished him that her beauty only attracted filth. She was worth more than this world. They won't have much time. The man quickly untied her from the bed and carried her out of the bedroom.

The garden was utter chaos. His fellow Death Eaters did a suitable job overtaking the guests. The wedding guests were in no way prepared for the assault; the Death Eaters were alerted once the fool Mr. Potter contacted the Ministry. The man, however, had thought about this day for so long. There was another target. Someone else had to be punished for doing this to her. Where was he? He approached another man in a mask. This one slightly older than he.

"Good man! What have you got there, Snape? What a pretty one …."

He gripped Lily tighter. "A mudblood." Could she hear him? He put himself back into focus. He was a highly respected and somewhat feared Death Eater. Lily must not sway him. He was not weak. "Where's Potter? That sickening cunt owes me a massive blood debt."

"I'm right fucking here!" James emerged seemingly out of nowhere. "You, slimy cunt! Couldn't keep your greasy hands off her, could you?" The man dropped Lily and whipped his wand out to disarm James. That didn't stop him. "I fucking saw you. Lurking around like a nasty predator, waiting to attack. Had to round up your Death Eater Slytherin mates, did you? You sick fuck … killing and raping …" The Death Eaters surrounded James and forced his arms behind him. He struggled and kicked, but no amount of fight could prepare him for the curse.

The young Death Eater didn't blink as he tortured James. The only emotion stronger than his love for Lily, was his hatred of James Potter. Listening to his screams was only part of redemption. He flicked his wand, briefly ending the pain. "You don't deserve her!" He resumed the torture, worse than the first round. "HOW DARE YOU EVEN SPEAK OF HER!" Before he knew it, a flash of green struck out along with an uncontrollable surge of murderous fury. James crumpled dead before him.

The remaining wedding guests shrieked. Mrs. Potter, the loudest of all. She grabbed her husband and wailed onto his shoulder. The Death Eaters raised their wands; threatening more killings if anyone else thought to be reckless enough to fight. The lone Death Eater looked down at the body of his nemesis. He felt a mix of sadistic triumph and shock. Did he just kill James Potter? The subdued and disarmed wedding guests were horrified; they screamed out threats, some catatonic, others were struggling against their magical bonds holding them down. His fellow Death Eaters paid no attention to him; they were desensitized to the rush of torture and killing.

Reality snapped him back. He had only jut now realized he dropped the girl. She was still laying there, unconscious, but it was unwise of him to do so. What if Avery, Mulciber, or any other Death Eater snatched her? He couldn't watch over her while simultaneously fighting a battle. She had to be somewhere safe. Somewhere no one else could find her. He picked her up and carried her over his shoulder. She didn't stir. The guests, watching the killer of James Potter kidnap the bride caused more panic.

"That's Lily! They got Lily!"

"You put her down, you animal! You bloody brute!"

"Lily? Lily! Oh, God! He killed Lily!"

"Lily? Can you hear me? Lily? Lily!"

"You fucking monster! Put her down! She's dead! Leave her be, dammit!"

No, she was not dead. Her body was limp and pale, but her heart was still beating. Her mind would be in a rather interesting state. She was in a mental world of her own; dreaming or possibly a nightmare. She would have no recollection of anything once the hex was lifted and she awoke. The young Death Eater knew there would be a small possibility she could be hearing, deep in the dark folds of her mind. He could sense how vulnerable her mind was ….

He could hear her. He could hear her voice as if she were speaking next to him. Why was she so distraught? _"Is this it then? Am I truly dead?"_ He could hear her cracked whispers. The tremble in her voice caused something to stir inside him.

" _No, Lily. You're going to be safe."_

" _Who are you? What have you done with me?"_ Why didn't she recognize his voice? Didn't she hear him? The masked man quickly walked across the green field. He and his comrade Death Eaters placed a jinx on the Potter Estate; not a witch or wizard could apparate in or out.

" _Lily, don't you remember me? Lily?"_

" _Am I dead? Where am I?"_

" _Lily, no. You're not dead. Please hold on for me."_

Lily's voice faded away, but it was for the best. Lily would be distressed enough when she woke up; the safest place was not the friendliest, but she would kept under his watch and safe from the perverted torture and slaughter. After years of not speaking or acknowledging each other's existence, would she still loathe him? If she forgave him, would it be possible for them to resume their old close friendship? What if she didn't forgive him? It was impossible to know what the future had in store regarding he and Lily. But for now, the only thing that mattered was getting her out and away from Potter Manor.

The young man vanished without a trace.


	6. Marlene

**Author's Note: Late updates will happen, thankfully the world didn't come crashing down this time. I write daily updates on my profile; so please scope it out for progress on chapters and such.  
-Montosse**

* * *

 _ **(Disclaimer)**_

Lily jerked awake. There were heavy cast iron pots and copper pans and molds hanging above her. The room was hazy and smelled of smoke, alcohol, and faintly of burnt meat. She could hear water running. As her senses came to, Lily noticed she was laying on a pile of burlap sacks.

"…. Another one …" a woman's voice grumbled. A hand grasped her arm; Lily jumped and yelled out. It was Marlene. Marlene covered Lily's mouth; she slowly put a finger in front of her lips, her eyes were wide with shock. "Shh! You'll get us all in trouble."

"Marlene?" Lily whispered. "Marlene what are you doing here?"

"I should be asking you the same thing!" Marlene grasped Lily's hands. "What happened to you?"

"I-I don't know …" Lily stumbled for words. "Where are we?"

Marlene looked around. "I'm not so certain, but I do know we're in a manor or castle, or something. They don't let us see much. We're only supposed to cook, clean, and – "

"Who's 'they'?"

Marlene's eyes widened. "The Death Eaters."

Lily went numb. This was it. She must have died and went to hell. That would explain the stuffy heat and steam. She never pictured what would happen after the Death Eaters found her; she only assumed her unfortunate death. Why was she still alive? "How long have you been here?"

"Months, at least." Marlene forced a small smile. "They found me not long after I was working with the Longbottom family. I have no idea how they found out – "

"Oi! That's enough chatter." A rough middle-aged voice barked. "Get her ready to work. The west corridor needs scrubbing!" Lily squinted through the steam. The voice was coming from a tiny figure with large ears and eyes ….

"Yes, ma'am! Right away!" Marlene called back. She helped Lily to her feet and handed her a faded, light green cotton dress. "This was one of my older ones. It should fit you, if not, I can always patch it up tomorrow morning."

"Was that a house elf?" Lily gapped at the short figure behind them, stirring a boiling pot in the hearth.

Marlene nodded briskly. "Yes. Change, quickly now. I'll fill you in while we're scrubbing."

The west corridor was definitely in need of scrubbing. There was fresh blood streaked all across the stone floors, seeping into the emerald green carpet and drapes. Lily was sickened. She could almost hear the tortured cries of the poor victim, who was nowhere in sight. Quickly, Marlene set down her bucket of soap water and started anxiously scrubbing at the carpet. Marlene looked thinner. She wore a lavender dress covered in countless stains and patches. Bruises were splotched along her forearms and legs. _"What have they done to you, Marlene?"_ Lily wondered a she got down on her hands and knees and started scrubbing with her friend.

"Was that a house elf ordering us around back there in the kitchen?" Lily asked in a low whisper; fearful of who or what would overhear them.

"Yeah. They see muggleborns and blood-traitors as inferior to the house elves. We take directions and orders from the elves in this house." Marlene muttered. "The house elves are every bit as biased as the Death Eaters."

Lily shook her head as she dunked her scrubbing brush into the soapy water. "Have you heard anything from Mary, or your family?"

"Mary's dead." Marlene said bitterly. "She was only here for a day or two until they splattered her brains all over the drawing room curtains."

"What happened?" Lily gapped.

"Same as most of them; got hauled in after one of their raids. They thought she would be a decent maid, until she started screaming her head off and having delusions. They didn't waste any time with her. They killed her on the spot."

Lily forced herself not to panic. She focused on scrubbing the blood out of the carpet. "Did you see her?"

"Yes." Marlene was scrubbing rather violently. She too was oddly focused on the carpet. "She didn't recognize me … or at least, she didn't want to. It got to her, you know? One can only imagine. The madness of living in the muggle world with all their ignorance and running away from a threat you can't tell anyone about. No wonder it drove her insane. It's a miracle you and I are still all there in the head."

Lily nodded. She didn't want to think about poor Mary. She dunked her brush into the soapy water again. The blood was almost dried into the carpet; staining the worn emerald into an unpleasant brown. It seemed no matter how much she scrubbed, the blood wouldn't come out. "This is bloody ridiculous." She muttered. "Why don't we use magic?"

"No wands." Marlene mumbled. "The house elves aren't much help either."

"Why don't the Death Eaters do it then?"

"They won't get their precious pureblood hands dirty." Marlene said. "Besides, they like seeing pretty girls bent over, shining their boots, scrubbing their floors, sucking their sweaty cocks."

"What?"

Marlene looked at Lily with a pitiful stare. "When you've been here as long as I have, Lily, you'll understand that Mary was the lucky one."

"What did they do to you?" Lily asked in the ghost of a whisper.

Marlene stiffened. "What do you think? On my first day; I didn't know where the hell I was or what was going on. There's some bitchy house elf shrieking at me to wash the dishes and scrub the floors. They … the Death Eaters … they roughed me up. They grabbed my ass and put their bloody hands up my skirt. Before I knew it, I was dragged up to a bedroom. They forced my arms behind me and they took turns … three of them."

"Marlene …"

"That wasn't the worst of it." Marlene was trembling from rage. Her white knuckles gripped the brush. "Once they were bored with me, they tossed me aside. I was nothing more than a bloody toy to those fucking bastards. When I finally got the nerve to leave the bedroom, I ran faster than a broomstick. I searched for a way out. The windows, and doors outside; they've all been jinxed. My hands were burned when I tried to escape. The house elves found me, sobbing with raw bloody palms, and they berated me for not finishing the floors."

"Marlene …" Lily started. She didn't know where to begin. She couldn't imagine what other horrors Marlene witnessed. "What they did … that … that was not okay…"

"No. It fucking wasn't." Marlene spit on the floor. "It's best to work in groups. The worst they do is tease and rough you up. They never take you in groups."

"They shouldn't touch us, in groups or alone!" Lily snapped.

"Lily, honestly!" Marlene seethed. "Do you think these bastards care? We're in their castle! We have to go by their rules!"

Lily was silent. She stared at the carpet. The blood was slowly starting to fade out. If they scrubbed for a couple more hours, the blood would be gone without a trace. How much longer would they be out in the corridor before they would fall prey to rowdy Death Eaters? Lily willed herself to scrub harder and faster. "What are the rules?"

Marlene was scrubbing just as fast. "Depends on who you ask."

"For us?"

"We have to do whatever the Death Eaters tell us. Usually it's pointless cleaning or washing. We're up at dawn to cook breakfast, housework, lunch, more housework, dinner then more housework unless we're picked as a plaything for the night. Best case scenario; we're done with the night's work early and we can hide in the kitchens or scullery cupboard to catch a few winks. The rest of the time, we're grabbed by one of 'em and they take us up to the bedroom for the night."

"Every night?"

"Not always. If you're lucky enough to be given a brief task, you can go to bed early. I sleep in the kitchens once every week or so. It's a mess, mind you. It's noisy and hot, and the bean sacks are uncomfortable as shit. It's better to just let them take you up sometimes." An odd look fell over Marlene's face. "You learn to go numb. You don't feel attached to them or your own body for that matter. All their faces turn into a blur. You just stop feeling anything past midnight, I suppose. You only feel the warm bed." She smirked. "Some of them don't even fuck. Sometimes they're too tired or drunk to get it up, so they just fall asleep. Several times they just tell you to rub their feet, sing them to sleep, or even start the fireplace because they're too lazy to grab their wand or do it themselves."

"How have you managed so far? You're still living and breathing." Lily wanted to keep close to Marlene. Her knowledge from experience could spare her and possibly other newcomers.

"You call this living?" Marlene snorted. "I'm a marked blood-traitor, but essentially I'm a pureblood witch. They wouldn't kill me no matter how much hell I raised."

"Why?"

"You know why, Lily." Marlene said bitterly. "Just think about it. Any one of these days, any one of those Death Eater bastards will lock me in his room for the rest of my life. I'm still valuable as long as I can make a pureblood spawn …" Marlene angrily threw her brush down.

"Marlene, no!" Lily hissed. "They won't do that to you! I-I won't let them! You can sleep in the kitchens, and I'll distract them … or something …"

"Lily, you won't distract them for long. In their eyes; you're a disposable plaything. You're muggleborn. They won't keep you around to breed. They'll kill you on a whim if you don't jerk their dicks right. I should be the one protecting you."

Lily wanted to fight back, but what could she say? Marlene was right. It was miraculous she was spared at the wedding. Would she stand as little of a chance here in their own headquarters? "We'll watch out for each other." Lily said, looking her long time best friend in the eyes. "We'll be okay, or we'll both die trying, alright?"

Marlene looked at Lily and slowly nodded. "Alright."


	7. The Rules

_**(Disclaimer)**_

Lily spent most of the day doing chores with Marlene. After they finished scrubbing the blood out of the west corridor, they were instructed to prepare for dinner. Lily and Marlene weren't alone. There were other muggleborns and blood-traitor women working alongside them.

"Don't get attached to them." Marlene whispered while they peeled potatoes. "Half will be dead and buried in a week or two."

Lily shuddered at the thought. Half of these petrified faces, too traumatized to look or speak to one another, would be killed for reasons out of their control. Lily thought she recognized a few faces from Hogwarts, but they never faced her long enough for her to be certain. They all worked briskly and oddly efficiently for rarely speaking. One wooden bucket of potatoes was peeled, it would be promptly picked up by one and another would drop of another bucket of dirty potatoes. At this point, her arms ached terribly. Scrubbing the floor made her knees and fingertips tender. Gripping a knife and peeling a starchy, slippery potato added to the challenge of not accidentally slicing her hand.

"What happened to you? How did you get caught?" Marlene muttered, careful of not being overheard by the watchful house elves that patrolled the kitchen.

"Long story." Lily whispered low. "Potter asked me to marry him –"

"No, really?"

"Yeah. I only said yes for the safety. They live in a manor, just like this, but with a slightly more open attitude towards muggles."

"You always hated Potter." Marlene smirked. "How long did that last?"

"We never married. There was a security breach the morning of the wedding. His father alerted the Ministry at once, demanding Aurors. Of course, the Death Eaters were notified and they showed up and took over within a few hours."

"Shit." Marlene whispered. "How did they get you? You've been so lucky to have not been caught until now."

"There was a little girl, one of James' relatives I think, she was running around. I heard the screams from outside and saw the bright lights. I ran after her to protect her, but I must have gotten hexed. The last thing I remember was fire and a Death Eater pinning me down with his foot. Next thing I know, I'm in the kitchens of the Death Eater headquarters." Lily bitterly added, "I would still be safe if it weren't for those ignorant Potters. I told them the Ministry wasn't safe and they didn't listen to me."

"What happened to them … the Potters?" Marlene asked.

"Not sure." Lily mumbled. "If they were with the other guests, it probably didn't end well. They're still purebloods after all."

Marlene leaned in close. "I heard James Potter was killed."

Lily felt a jerk in her stomach. She didn't love the man, but it grieved her nonetheless. Lily disliked their family and their restricting adhesion to tradition, but she never wished for any of them to be killed. If anyone on the outside could get her out of this mysterious castle, it would have been James Potter. The Death Eaters were truly ruthless. "I didn't love him." Lily said emotionlessly. "But he was still on our side. He shouldn't have been killed."

Marlene nodded. "You remember that Slytherin boy you used to be close with? That one who called you a mudblood? He's the one that killed James. That's what I overheard."

Lily's knife slipped and she cut her finger. She didn't dare let anyone see or notice the blood. Any slip up, no matter how trivial could mean her head. "Snape?"

"That's him." Marlene muttered. "Makes perfect sense, really. They loathed each other, constantly cursing and beating each other to a pulp."

"That's true." Lily nodded slowly. "Snape, is he here?"

"Of course he is. Pretty much all the Slytherin boys turned into Death Eaters." Marlene brought her voice lower. "I would steer clear of him if I were you."

"Why?" Her finger stopped bleeding, but it still stung.

"He's still odd. I wouldn't want to be left alone with him."

"He hasn't done anything to you, has he?" Lily asked.

Marlene shook her head. "No, but that's what creeps me out. He's never taken any girls upstairs." Her voice was barely above a mumble. "He's the smart one. He doesn't care about the girls or any of the rewards, he's only here for the sport of killing. That one's not afraid to fight with the other Death Eaters. That blood we cleaned up in the west corridor earlier; I'm certain that's from his wand."

Lily swallowed. If she let herself panic, she would cut her hand again. One cut was enough for her first day. "Any others I should be aware of?"

"Mulciber, Wilkes, and Nott; they flock close to Snape, but they often get into fights. They're pretty disgusting themselves. Individually, they're pretty thick. Avoid the younger ones. They'll be more likely to take you upstairs and rough you up. The older ones, like Malfoy and Lestrange, they're married already; so they're less likely to take you upstairs. However, their wives can get awfully temperamental and slit your throat in an instant if they get jealous."

"Which is worse?"

"Neither, really. The younger ones have a lot to show-off and prove to the older ones. The older ones don't need to try, so they're automatically ruthless."

A new bucket of dirty potatoes was placed in front of them. It was awfuly overwhelming. There were too many rules and guidelines. The Death Eater wives will kill if you're too pretty. The Death Eaters will kill if you're too ugly, if you complain, or displease them in the slightest. Don't ever be the last maid in the castle or else you'll be taken upstairs. Don't be the first maid done with chores early or else the other maids will kick you out or the Death Eaters will look for you. Lily was numb with silent fear. Any day could be her last if she wasn't careful. _"I've made it almost a year without being caught before by these bastards. What's another year?"_ She thought to herself. If she stayed close to Marlene and played the rules accordingly, there could be a chance she could make it out alive.

But when would that be? How long would she have to live in this hellish castle before they had a chance to escape? She knew very little about the security of this place, and she doubted she would be alive long enough to crack the system to escape. And then what, after escaping? The Death Eaters would find her again and probably kill her. Lily forced herself to come to terms that she was facing her final days among the living. This horrible castle would be her grave.


	8. Upstairs

_**(Disclaimer)**_

The Death Eaters were finished with their dinner. There were no complaints about the food or drink; unfortunately, a Death Eater was served dinner on a chipped plate. Lily and Marlene watched as a Death Eater burst into the kitchen and demanding to see the scullery maid. The poor, dark haired muggleborn woman was tortured in the scullery cabinet, then dragged out of the kitchen, struggling and screaming. No one in the kitchen blinked.

"That wasn't even the scullery maid." Lily muttered bitterly. "She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"I know." Marlene responded. They were waiting in line. It was time for the house elves to give them their instructions for the night. Lily noticed their tiny, gnarled hands gripping a long roll of parchment. Was there really that much work to do? "Are you scared?" Marlene whispered.

"Of what?"

"Tonight. We won't be assigned together." Marlene lowered her voice. "You're a new face to them. They won't be stumbling around; they'll be looking for you."

Lily felt herself go numb. Suddenly, she felt dizzy and sick. The thought of being left alone, with no wand and no Marlene paralyzed her with fear. Was this her punishment for not loving James? A mere few days ago, she was scared silly of spending her nights sleeping next to James. Lily was riddled with regret, silently wishing she was a better daughter-in-law to the Potters and a more loving partner to James. "Can nothing spare us?" She whispered.

Marlene shook her head. "I already told you, Lily. Only if you get assigned something short and stupid like shaking out the rugs. Either way, they know what you look like and some will be hunting for you. Without magic, you can't exactly hide or do anything."

"There's no hope then?"

"The best we can do is wait it out. I could try to finish my task quickly and try to find you, even then, you could be found before I find you." Marlene gripped Lily's hand tightly.

"What should I do?" Lily felt her stomach rise in her guts. She felt lightheaded and dizzy. Her surroundings were fuzzy.

"Whatever you do, don't fight back. If you do, they'll think you're insane and kill you on the spot." Marlene whispered quickly. House elves were approaching. Soon they would be given their assigned tasks. "Just try to numb your body and separate yourself mentally. Count the dots on the ceiling or study the décor of the sheets. Don't speak unless spoken to. Don't protest, or make noise. If they're rough; just expect to be hit, bitten, and choked. They're the worst to be with, but they fall asleep faster. The first-timers or gentler ones might not fuck you, but if they do, sometimes it helps to play along. If you don't do anything, they'll assume something's wrong with you and try to rough you up." Lily tightened her grip on Marlene's hand.

It was Marlene's turn. "You! Mrs. Malfoy is very displeased with the condition of her bathroom. You'll be attending to her tonight while her husband is away. Now!" The house elf shrieked. Marlene cursed under her breath. The elf squinted at Lily. "You're the new one. Heddy doesn't like the looks of you. This one will be upstairs tonight." The house elf sneered. "Dusting. Go dust the corridors and rooms." The house elf handed her a dirty feather duster. The other girls gave her mixed looks. Some with pity, others with intense distaste. Marlene was already gone. Lily swallowed, walked out of the kitchen.

The castle was eerily silent this time of night. _"Are they asleep? Do any of these people sleep?"_ Lily wondered, considering most Death Eaters were active at night. _"How tired or awake will they be?"_ Lily unintentionally gripped the feather duster tightly. She felt the wood crackle under her palm. She missed her wand. If Lily had her wand, she would be a fearless fighter. Not a single Death Eater could stand up to her. She wondered where her wand was. Could Mrs. Potter have hidden it in the bedside table of Lily's wedding bed? Was it broken and scattered across the estate? Did the Death Eaters snatch it? All were possible.

Lily spotted a window, draped with heavy black velvet. She brushed the curtains aside. It was pitch black outside. No sparkle of the stars or the moon or any recognizable landmarks. Nothing to give a slight clue as to where in the world she was. Lily lifted her fingers, expecting dust, but the windowsill was already spotless. She felt angry, humiliated. _"Those fucking elves want me to get battered! They might as well have sent me out naked and tied up!"_ Cleaning was pointless. _"I might as well explore and know the castle; plus, they'll have a harder time finding a moving target."_

Suddenly, she heard footsteps. They were very faint and slow, but it made the hair on her neck and arms stand up. Lily felt cold. Adrenaline rushed through her along with the desperate urge to smash the window and run for her life, or charge at whatever came and use the feather duster as a weapon. The feather duster was flimsy and disgusting, but Lily wondered if the wooden handle could be used to gouge out an eye. The feathers could be shoved down a throat.

The footsteps were getting closer. There was a ghost scent of cigarettes and musk.

 _Whatever you do, don't fight back. If you do, they'll think you're insane and kill you on the spot._ Marlene's words floated in Lily's head. She thought about how many courageous muggleborns rebelled and were slaughtered because of it. How many were skilled witches and fighters and how many were helpless with their fists?

Whomever was approaching, they were right around the corner.

Lily relaxed her grip on the feather duster. She would stay alive. She would face her enemy and take whatever hell they threw at her. _"I'll give them what they want. I'll take as many as will come."_ Lily hardened herself, preparing for the unpredictable night. _"I'll do whatever it takes to live long enough to break out of this bloody fucking castle."_

But nothing could prepare for who came around the corner. Upon seeing the man, all her built up confidence dropped like a brick in a well. She was partially filled with rage, fear, and disbelief. "You!" She snarled.


	9. Smoke and Leather

_**(Disclaimer)**_

Lily was pushed into a small, dark room. "Don't you fucking touch me!" She hissed at Severus as she wrenched her arms away. "What the fucking hell is wrong with you?!"

Once the door was safely closed and locked, he whipped around to face her. "What's wrong with me? You, wandering around this place after dark by yourself! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Take a fucking look at yourself!" Lily shouted. "You joined the Death Eaters, no surprise, really! What more do you want?!"

"You and I both know you're smarter than that! You could have been killed or – "

"Or bloody found by you! Remember? I'm a dirty little mudblood!"

Severus rolled his eyes. "I guess we're picking up where we left off years ago."

"Honestly?" Lily stared at him, dumbfounded. "You made it clear that you wanted nothing to do with me! So kindly fuck off!" She tried to yank the door knob, however, it was locked. Severus had the key. She scowled. "Let me out. Now."

"Have you gone mad?" Severus stared at her. "Do you have any idea of what will happen to you if you're out there?!"

"Honestly, it couldn't be much worse than what will happen to me in here!" She retorted. "Unlock the bloody door and let me out."

"You're too stubborn for your own good." He muttered and tossed the key to her. "Get yourself into shit. Get jumped 'till you bleed. Get your brains splattered all over the floor for all you care! But if you come to me, blubbering for a way out, don't expect any favors!"

Lily paused. "A way out? Is there a way out of here?"

Severus shook his head. "Are you going to stay here or leave?"

"Tell me about the way out!" Lily raised her voice.

"Tell me you're going to stay here!" He matched her volume.

Lily scoffed in frustration. "I'm not promising you anything."

"Then get out."

Lily glared at him with intense hatred. Severus was testing her. Only he could be so infuriatingly challenging and stubborn for the pointless sake of argument. He had her trapped, and they were both fully aware. She decided he wasn't going to get under her skin. "What do you want?" Severus ignored her. Instead, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up. Lily wrinkled at the habit; the smoke in such a small space was acrid. "Well?"

He only exhaled smoke and glared back at her.

"What benefit do you have in keeping me here?" Lily repeated.

"It's not my benefit, but yours." He sneered. "You take a step out of this room, and what happens to you?"

"We both know what happens, you bloody creep." Lily spat back. "Why should I trust you? How do I know this isn't a vice?"

"You'll just have to trust me."

Lily scowled at him. She refused to let him have the upper hand. "Prove it."

"Prove what?"

"Prove to me why I should trust you."

Severus took a long drag from the cigarette and glared back at her. "Alright. Would your relentless distrust be appeased if I told you how you got here?"

"I was locked out of the kitchen with a bloody feather duster and then you found me and dragged me upstairs." Lily slumped in the leather armchair across from him. It reminded her of the stiff armchairs Mrs. Potter kept in her manor. What was it with pureblood families and their obsession with uncomfortable furniture?

"Begging your pardon, little Miss Evans, but would Mulciber or Avery suit your fancy?" He sneered. "I don't think so. Where were you between your wedding day and waking up here? What happened to you; do you recall?"

Lily stared at her hands. Of course she didn't know. "I was dreaming." She said tonelessly. "I don't remember it well, but it was dark, there were voices, and … I think there was an earthquake. The corridor caught fire and I was paralyzed. One of your friends had his foot on my back…" Lily trailed off. "That's all I remember."

"An earthquake?" He asked skeptically, a ghost of a sarcastic smirk played his lips.

She rolled her eyes at him. "As I said, I was dreaming."

"And then?"

"And then I woke up, laying on a sack of beans with a house elf berating me while a friend I thought to be dead handed me a dirty dress."

Severus exhaled a puff of smoke. "Amazing, isn't it?"

"Pardon?" Lily's eyes were irritated from the smoke. The room was already dark, the haze only made it worse. "Amazing?"

"Amazing that you, a young muggleborn, hidden and running for countless months, while being stalked by the most twisted and sick inhabitants of this castle, manages to get caught so swiftly, yet helpless." His eyes glinted. "And yet she stands before me, alive, healthy, and untouched. Amazing."

Lily felt uncomfortable. It wasn't the leather armchair, but how Severus was looking at her. She had a dark suspicion that he did something unpleasant to her whilst she was unconscious. "I fail to see how that's amazing at all. If it weren't for stupid Potter, I wouldn't be here!"

"That's where you're wrong." Severus flicked the cigarette into the empty brick fireplace. Lily noticed handfuls of burnt out cigarette butts scattered among the dead logs. "You were a target long before Potter contacted the Ministry. We intercepted an owl from a Marlene McKinnon; a blood traitor believed to be harboring two muggleborn women. Nonetheless, one was found, quite easily. Mary MacDonald. Poor girl surrendered her magic, and her slaughter was unnecessary."

She bristled with anger. "Why didn't you do anything to save her? You knew what was going on, why not throw them off our trail?"

Severus shrugged. "Mary was killed before anything reasonable could be done. Intervention would have made me look suspicious." He picked at the cracked leather of his chair. "Once we arrived at the abandoned room, near Hogmeade, I knew who the other muggleborn was. This one was much too clever. This one had an unquestionable fear and respect for Death Eaters; of course she slipped from our fingers. We changed our strategy. Instead of looking for the runaway girl, we went hunting for another in pursuit of her."

"Another? You mean James?"

"Everyone knew Potter fancied you." He said bitterly. "It was too easy. We already had Death Eaters drinking Polyjuice, disguised as Potter's servants." Severus lit another cigarette. Lily said nothing. She looked into the abyss of the dead fireplace. She felt empty; everything was artificial. The whole time Lily truly believed she could outrun and outfox the Death Eaters, but they were a step ahead of her. Only now did she realize how foolish she was for letting James in and agreeing to marry him. Of course everyone knew he fancied her. Not a week went by at Hogwarts and James didn't make a loud confession of his love in front of the whole school. Lily never paid any mind as they annoyed her and often made her late to classes, however, she was ignorant to think no one else would notice. Lily stood up and snatched the cigarette from his fingers. "What the hell …" Severus growled.

"Shut up." Lily took a long drag. The smoke made her throat dry, but she did not cough. She threw herself back down into the stiff leather armchair. "So what happens now?" Lily asked emotionlessly as she took another drag.

Severus lit another cigarette. "Don't know. Depends on you."

"Me?"

"Don't you want to stay safe here?"

Lily burned the leather arm of the chair with her cigarette; watching the smoke arise from the ashy grey dot. "If there isn't a way out, what's the bloody point?" She mumbled. "I'm nothing more than fat to the feast."

"Stop that."

"Oh shut up, will you?" Lily took another drag and glared at Severus. "Stop pretending you care. You're probably itching to hand me over to your stupid Death Eater friends."

Severus suddenly stood up and ripped the cigarette from her lips. He tossed it into the fireplace and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Have you no bloody clue what could have happened to you? How fucking stupid you've been? When I found you, you were tied to a bed, wearing practically nothing! Avery Nott was licking your face, about to fuck your bloody brains out!"

"Shut up."

"There was a line! There was a line of Death Eaters, hungry for a taste of a pretty little oblivious muggleborn!"

"Shut! Up!"

"Your bloody James Potter cowers like a pathetic animal! I alone fought off Nott and any other sick fuck who dared look at you with lustful sin in his eyes! I brought you here to keep you out of their grip!" He gripped the collar of her dress. Lily, was shaking with panic. He only showed his violent temper towards James; usually in the form of sinister curses of his own invention. "There you go! Fucking prancing around the corridors and rooms like a bloody fool! Have you any idea of how fortunate you are that I found you before any other of these insatiable beasts?! Do you fucking realize you could be dead by now?! Do you want to get fucking jumped?"

Lily slapped Severus. She moved as far away from him as she could into the dark haze of the small room. Tears were slipping down her cheeks. "You need to leave." Lily choked out. "Go."

Severus did not move. He looked at her with a mix of rage and worry. "Lily …"

"Go!" She shrieked. "Get out of here!" Her hands brushed a wooden surface and automatically fumbled for something to throw at him. "I don't want to see you again!" Lily hurled an inkpot across the room. The room flooded with light from the outside corridor for only a second. She could make out a four poster bed, a cluttered desk, and the two armchairs. The ink was oozing down the wall.

"So be it."

"No. No! Sev, No!" Lily was plunged into darkness once again. Severus was already gone. He had locked the door behind him. Lily banged her fists on the door, yelling out for him, but nothing was returned. _"Why did you hit him?! You bloody idiot, he could have helped you!"_ She thought to herself as she collapsed onto the bed. This bed had those ridiculously heavy and pointless shams, but they reeked of stale cigarettes and formaldehyde. Her body ached all over. Between scrubbing the floors, peeling potatoes, and carrying heavy pots of soup and bags of flour, nothing compared to the guilt. Eventually, her aches and pains carried her to a restless sleep.


	10. Step One

**Hello there, darlings! Yes, this is very rare for me to post in my own stories. This is just as awkward for me as it is for you. Anyways, this is just a friendly reminder to check on my profile for updates! Usually chapters are pounded out in pairs and within a few weeks of each other. Chapter doesn't come out in a bit? Unsure if I'll carry the story to term? When in doubt; always check my profile. If I get intriguing reviews or questions, I will most likely answer them there. How neat.**

 **-Montosse**

 _ **(Disclaimer)**_

Lily slowly awoke. For once in a long while, she had a restful, dreamless sleep. She was already in the clutches of her enemy, what was the worst that could happen? Lily felt sick from hunger. When did she eat last? She deeply regretted the cigarette. Her throat felt dry and the taste lingered unpleasantly in her mouth. Lily covered her head with the heavy blankets. She still couldn't escape the stench. It infiltrated the bedcovers and the pillowcases. It gave her a terrible headache. The headache, combined with a growling stomach, quickly ruined the euphoria of a restful sleep.

Many years ago, Lily remembered when her and Severus were still children. They were both playing near the murky river, trying to find smooth stones. Lily found an empty bottle of scotch and a boot. Severus stole a pack of cigarettes from his father. Lily remembered scolding him, telling him to put them back; they would make his tongue fall out and his dad would be furious. Severus only grinned and offered her one. Lily turned her nose up. Of course, when he said Petunia would be too scared to try it, Lily had no choice but to take one. She had never seen one up close before, let alone hold one. In the city, cigarette butts littered the streets. Her parents were cautious to keep the girls away from any drinking or smoking. If her mum could see her, Lily would get grounded for the rest of the summer.

It was hard for her to imagine that Severus grew up surrounded by it. She watched him light his. He coughed and his face turned red. Severus said it was bloody disgusting. Lily never got a chance. Petunia showed up, screeching that she was going to tell mother. Lily threw hers in the river, said a rushed goodbye to Severus and had to sprint back home before Petunia.

Of course, once they got to Hogwarts, Lily remembered Severus would always smell horrible on the first day. Eventually, at the end of the year, the stench of stale smoke and mildew faded away completely from his robes. Lily remembered being so happy to go back home to her family; whereas Severus was bitter beyond any comfort. Who could blame him? They were not well-liked in the neighborhood. He wasn't well-liked in his own home. They were infamously known as "the raging drunk with his crazy wife and urchin child." Tobias would be gone for days, sometimes weeks. That was when Severus was the happiest. The whole street was alerted when his father came home. He would either be passed out on the pavement, or screaming at his wife and son.

It didn't surprise Lily that Severus picked up the habit. She drowsily reminded herself to tell him to air out his room.

" _He's not your friend."_ Her conscience snapped. _"He yelled at you, and you fucking smacked him. He's a bloody Death Eater. He's not your friend."_

Lily rolled over. It was impossible to tell what time of day it was. The heavy black drapes blocked out any light that could be from the outside. It was still dark. The fireplace wasn't lit, and she couldn't make out any lamps. She could faintly see the tops of the black leather armchairs. Lily wondered how long she could be hidden in this bedroom before house elves and Death Eaters started looking for her. She must have been asleep for at least half a day, surely Marlene would know she was missing from the kitchens.

Empty relief. In this temporary moment of bliss, Lily was forgotten by the world. She was captured by the Death Eaters, but none could disturb her behind a locked door. Marlene would be too exhausted from dealing Mrs. Malfoy all night to wonder what became of her best friend. Petunia wanted nothing to do with her. Her parents, however, Lily hadn't seen them since Petunia's engagement party. In this moment, no one was looking for her. No one jerking her out of bed and fussing over her. Lily didn't have to keep herself awake and vigorously cover her tracks. No rules and horrendous punishments for displeasing anyone. Lily could just lay here in purgatory as long as she pleased … or until she would be forced otherwise. Lily savored every moment. She didn't know how long Severus would keep her around. This would most likely be her last peaceful rest before one more eternal looming.

"I have to get out of here." Lily whispered to herself. But first, she needed to talk to Severus. Clearly, he knew where they were, and how this mysterious castle was run. He had to know a way out. Lily knew that in magic, there was always a loophole. She knew that muggleborns were taken in alive, and they usually left in pieces. How did the Death Eaters get in and out? Eventually, Severus would have to come back. Lily knew him. Countless petty arguments in the afternoon, but by dinner, they would be chattering about their lessons as if they never argued at all.

What went wrong? Lily remembered the skinny boy on Spinner's End who showed her this world of magic. Those innocent days of laying under the tree by the river were far behind them. The boy turned into a bitter young man who grew to despise her just because of her blood status. Often times Lily wondered when exactly did Severus change his mind about her? When did he decide that having a muggleborn for a friend was unacceptable. How? After so many moments of laughter and shared secrets, how did their friendship become disposable? Lily silently cursed the Death Eaters. Underneath the black hood and mask, she knew Severus was still the same skinny boy.

Her new objective was to survive. If presented with the opportunity to escape, Lily promised herself she wouldn't hesitate. But she wouldn't leave without saving Marlene and the other enslaved girls. Lily forced herself out of bed. A hint of daylight was peeking behind the heavy black drapes. She tied the drapes back and looked outside; her first glimpse of natural light in what seemed like an eternity. It was pouring rain. The glass was icy to the touch. Dark gray clouds loomed above the fog. She could faintly make out mountains above a forest through the fog. Thankfully, she was on land. The cool light flooded the tiny, round room. Lily speculated that she might be in a tower.

There was a writing desk. Loose papers and books were sprawled carelessly on top. Lily smirked sarcastically at the shelves. Every space was filled with books; a small comfort compared to the fragile figurines at Potter Manor. More papers were scattered across the floor, along with cigarette butts, dried leaves, and ash. Clothes, dirty with either dried filth or blood were shoved under the bed. It was obvious Severus wasn't receiving any housekeeping services. Lily wondered if it was because he was feared amongst the maids, or because he outright refused it. She believed it was both. Lily recalled Marlene telling her the night before that Severus never took girls upstairs. He was mostly the brains behind the Death Eaters. And from her childhood, he had his own chaotic methods of organization that did not tolerate different hands.

" _Step one;"_ Lily thought to herself. _"Clean this bloody mess up."_ As long as no one was looking for her for the time being, she might as well make an effort to earn a favor with one of the Death Eaters. Severus would eventually have to return to his room. Lily would patiently wait for him to return.


	11. Bloody Hands

_**Wow! Many thanks for the warm welcome back! I truly appreciate it. Responses to reviews are on my profile update.**_

 _ **-Montosse**_

 _ **(Disclaimer)**_

The loose papers that were once scatted across the floor and every surface, were now resting in a tidy stack on the writing desk. All the cigarette butts were picked from the floor and fireplace and tossed in a bin. Lily had used one of his dirty shirts to wipe off dust and ashes. Lily considered returning back to the kitchens to get proper supplies. Severus would have to come first. If she could rekindle their friendship, that would provide her with extra protection from the other Death Eaters, somewhere to escape the house elves, and eventually a way out. Lily knew Marlene would be worried about her, but Lily also knew Marlene was strong. If she lasted this long in the castle, Marlene could go without her for another day or so.

Lily's stomach growled loudly. She hadn't eaten a proper meal in several days. The last time she ate was after the Death Eaters ate supper, and the muggleborns were clearing the dining table. One plate still had a tiny cut of meat and a crust of bread. Lily noticed other muggleborns picking and fervently chewing uneaten bites off the plates, but being very discreet in case any house elves or Death Eaters came into the dining hall. Severus didn't have a scrap of anything edible in his room. The lingering smell of cigarettes only made her stomach feel worse. Opening the door to the corridor was suicide lest she be spotted by a wandering Death Eater. Opening the window was her only option.

She gazed outside and took in the heavy clouds, drifting over the treetops of the forest. Her fingertips touched the glass. It was icy. Lily's breath fogged the window, and her fingers left clear trails on the frosted window. Her reflection looked back at her morosely. It seemed like a lifetime since she last saw her own reflection. Lily and Petunia had a vanity table in their childhood home; once the girls were teenagers, they bickered over the mirror. Lily also had a dusty dressing mirror her attic room near Diagon Alley, however she covered it upon moving in; fearing it could be charmed to spy on her. Lily looked at herself in the glass. She still had some leftover charcoal makeup smudged underneath her eyes and streaked on her cheeks. The gentle mahogany waves that used to be her hair was now a knotted, bushy mess. Lily looked sick. Pale skin, dark eyes, slightly sunken cheeks, and thin. Her first night in the castle already took its toll. The clouds kissed the treetops; if there was a threat of rain or a storm, it was a beautiful threat indeed. In the distance, a murder of crows settled in the woods. She couldn't help but admire her outside surroundings.

Lily's fingers found the window latch. She gripped it and pushed as had as she could. The window wouldn't budge. Lily tried pushing harder. Suddenly, the cold metal latch turned scalding hot. It was as if it had caught on fire underneath her grasp. Lily gasped and quickly let go.

"Where are you going?" Severus seemed to appear out of thin air. Lily only glowered; she didn't hear him open the door or come in. He looked at her with a crooked half-smile which quickly left his face after he saw her hands. "What have you done to yourself now?"

"It's fine." Lily took a step away from him. To her alarm; her palms were bright pink and covered with blisters. Blood was already oozing out of the burns. "I don't understand …" She whispered to herself. "It was only a small burn; it shouldn't look like this …"

Severus reached out grab her arm. "Why were you going outside?"

"I wasn't going outside!" Lily jerked away from him again.

"Sit down and let me see your hands."

Lily stubbornly sat down in the stiff leather armchair. Only now did she remember Marlene's words. Marlene already tried to escape through the windows, and in return, her hands too got bloody and burned. "You have all the windows cursed?" Lily said tonelessly; masking the pain of her stinging hands.

Severus grimly nodded as he looked at her hands. "Have to. That's how we know which ones tried to escape." He pulled out his wand and wordlessly conjured bandages. They coiled around Lily's hands like silk ribbons. "If a girl is acting odd; in a lot of pain, and she has bloody palms, that's a girl who tried breaking out through a window."

"And then what do you do?" Lily watched the bandages; they were calming to look at. "Kill her?"

Severus looked up at her. "Not right away." When he saw her disgusted face, he looked back down at the bandages. "Are you asking me if I will harm you for attempting to escape?" Severus asked slowly.

"I wasn't escaping!" Lily retorted. "It smells bloody awful in here and fresh air would us both some good!"

Severus said nothing. He finished the bandages and with a flick of his wand, the loose ends tied themselves together. "Ask me next time, please." She only rolled her eyes. They both kept silent for a few moments. Lily stared out the window; Severus looked at the ground. She craved to give a cynical remark, but decided against it. She reminded herself to play by the Death Eater rules. It was the only way to get a shot at freedom. "You cleaned up?" Severus asked quietly.

Lily nodded. "Yeah."

"You shouldn't have done that." He pulled out a new pack of cigarettes. "You didn't have to."

"Fucking honestly?" Lily snapped. "So you and your thick-headed friends dragged me here for nothing? What else am I good for around here?"

"Oh give it a fucking rest, already!"

"How about a bloody 'thank you' or are you suddenly above that since joining the Death Eaters?"

There was silence. Severus was about to light a cigarette. He looked down at the floor instead. Lily wondered if she pushed too far again. Years have passed. Both of them have grown very different and further apart from each other. Lily realized it would be harder to reanimate the dead friendship than she previously thought. Neither of them seemed too eager to put their guard down. Lily was too stubborn to put hers down first. If Severus could put down his guard first, Lily decided he would be worth it. Once again; Lily and Severus were locked in a silent battle of stubbornness.

"Thanks" Severus muttered bitterly.

Lily blinked. "Sorry?"

"Thank you."

Lily felt a sense of victory. "You're welcome, Sev." Severus lit his cigarette and blankly looked out the window. The brief victory quickly festered away. The wretched smell bothered Lily. It made her famished stomach queasy and stung her with every breath. Asking him to quit would push it. Lily looked at the floor. "So what happens now?" She asked quietly.

Severus slowly exhaled. "Well … it wouldn't be in your best interest to be back in service. With those hands; you're too easy a target."

"What does that mean?"

"It means you have two choices." He said tonelessly. "Choice one; you return to the kitchens and take your chances. Choice two; stay here and wait out the healing."

"Can't it just be healed with magic?" She scowled.

Severus shook his head. "It's of my own fabrication. There is already an agreement within the Death Eaters not to heal servants' hands. If a muggleborn tried to escape and her hands are healed with magic; she either stole a wand, or performed wandless magic. No matter however; she'll be slaughtered on sight; as will any other who has bloodied hands to sequester a potential uprising."

"Why would you create something so twisted?"

"It's not nearly as bad as it could potentially be." He said dryly. "Rather than just causing brief burning and marking the desperate muggleborn, her hands could have been impaled by spikes, trapping her to the window and leaving her in unbearable agony." Lily saw a sadistic glint in his eyes that deeply unsettled her. When they were last friends years ago, Severus was starting an obsession for creating spells of his own. Lily secretly doubted his ability, but nonetheless encouraged him to keep trying. He was far beyond teenage daydreaming now. "It could be designed so perfectly that if a servant ever thought about escaping and she happened to be next to a window, she would be thrown into horrible convulsions. Or instant death by touching with a single finger."

Lily felt a slight chill. "Why not just kill us off if that's what suits you?"

Severus blinked. The sadistic intensity was gone from his eyes. It was replaced with the usual coldness. "There is a sickening demand. Insatiable appetites of all spectrums must be pleasured; dining hall ... or bedroom."

She felt squeamish. "And you approve? You allow this to happen?"

"I never said I approved." A low growl rose. "I do my job serviceably, and I am generously rewarded. I participate, but not out of personal mission, but survival."

"Survival?" Lily scoffed sarcastically. "Well, Severus, how selfish of me! You don't like playing genocide and you feel like an outsider in your cushy tower! All this time I've been so concerned with not getting killed by your people!

Severus clenched his fist. "You're one to talk. How did it feel to sell yourself to some prat for a little safety?"

"James Potter?"

"Fucking who else?" He said impatiently. "Suppose he found out you were only using him? Then what? I can't imagine Potter would have taken kindly to that."

"I did what I had to!" Lily felt her face get hot. "I had no money and no one else to turn to! Potter is a fucking cunt but it was the only chance to stay alive! What else was I supposed to do? Whore myself in Knockturn Alley and change my identity? What would you do?"

"Survive." Severus flicked the dead cigarette into the fireplace.

Lily said nothing. Neither of them were happy. Survival isn't living comfortably or even getting by. Either on the run or keeping private, survival was a dirty business. Lily hadn't thought much about a plan if James and his family found out she was using them. Most likely she would have been kicked out. If she managed to produce children, it was unknown what would have happened to them. "You said I had two choices." Lily said quietly.

Severus pulled out another cigarette. "Choice one; you return to the kitchens. Most likely you'll be harassed by the house elves and any other Death Eater that sees you. Wounded hands won't do in the kitchen. It's certain you'll be sent out alone for scrubbing duty. I can't imagine the harsh lye and soap will feel pleasant on raw hands. And once again, alone in the hallways, you're bound to be forced upstairs against your will … or killed."

Lily swallowed. "Choice two?"

"Stay here." He looked at her. "No one will look for you. All I have to do is say you're evening entertainment, and no one asks a question. You won't have to do anything you don't want to. You'll be safe." There a note of pleading in his voice.

Lily picked her words carefully. "If I stay here, until my hands heal, who benefits?"

"We both benefit. You stay safe. I have someone sane to talk to. We both survive." Severus lit his cigarette. Lily stood up and snatched the cigarette from him. Severus only smirked. "Do we have a deal?"

She exhaled deeply. The smoke clouded around the window, turning the mountains and woods beyond the icy glass into a blank, white expanse. "We have a deal." Lily ignored her protesting throat and stomach and took another deep drag.


	12. Dinner Time

_**(Disclaimer)**_

Marlene sauntered as she carried the heavy cauldron of beef stew, carefully spooning out portions into the Death Eater's bowls. The men were shouting boisterously over each other while their wives eyed Marlene and the other muggleborns; eagerly waiting to screech out a curse in case a drop of stew was dropped onto the pure white tablecloth. They chattered quietly, bragging about how their husbands spoiled them, gossip, and many passive aggressive compliments. To Marlene, this was her only entertainment. It was quite ridiculous how friendly their voices were, but every word was dripping with venom.

"I do say, love, that is a marvelous necklace! Sapphires?"

"Oh yes, do you like it?"

"It matches your eyes, dear." Narcissa Malfoy, the elite socialite of all the wives, had a jealous gleam in her grey eyes. She did not like being shadowed. "I must say, it does remind me of the emerald necklace my dear husband gifted me, real emeralds."

Marlene stopped listening. Narcissa and the other women glared at her as she passed. Secretly, Marlene knew all about that necklace. It was Narcissa's most prized possession, next to her doting husband. Marlene saw it the night she had to draw a bath for Narcissa. The emerald necklace was draped on the vanity, next to an assortment of expensive perfumes, jewelry, and silks; also gifts from her husband. Lily was still missing, and Marlene was unsettled. Lily was clever, so there was a high chance she was still alive. Was she wounded? Was she being held captive? What if she was slaughtered like Mary? She ladled out a spoonful for the next Death Eater. Him. "Snape." She muttered coldly.

"McKinnon."

Marlene noticed a single red hair on the back of Snape's robes. Of course. He had to be the one who did something to Lily. It infuriated her to picture Lily being raped and beaten by the creep. She gripped the ladle so tightly, she felt the wood crack beneath her fist. "You wouldn't happen to know where Lily is, would you?" She was barely audible over the sound of clanking dinnerware, open-mouthed chewing, and shouting. "She was supposed to report for laundry duty this morning."

Severus didn't blink. "Why don't you mind your own business, McKinnon before you go missing."

She narrowed her eyes. "If I find out you hurt her, I will fucking kill you, you slimy piece of shit!"

"I'm sorry, are you threatening me?" He slightly raised his voice, getting the attention of a few Death Eaters around him. A few Death Eaters stopped eating and stared at Marlene and Snape. She held her breath; Marlene realized her knees were shaking, not from the weight of the cauldron full of beef stew. Severus continued quietly. "Lily is alive and perfectly fine, if you're that desperate to know. If you attempt to pry, I will personally see to it that it's the last thing you do. Do I make myself clear?"

Marlene swallowed. She roughly scooped stew into his bowl, purposefully splashing broth on his robes, and moved down the table. Lily would have to be forced out if Snape wouldn't let her go on her own. Marlene created a scheme. It wouldn't be easy, and it was incredibly dangerous, but Lily would not die like poor Mary. She believed that together, Marlene and Lily could find a way to escape.


	13. For a Moment

_**(Disclaimer)**_

Lily fidgeted with her dress, desperate for something to distract her from the pain from her burned palms. The closer she examined the dress, she realized it wasn't naturally pale green, but it was stained. It must have been washed carelessly. The other stains were less easy to investigate. The brownish splatters on the frayed hem must have been from dirt and muck. As for the other brown splotches, Lily couldn't tell if it was gravy or dried blood. She felt grimy. It seemed like ages since wearing that ancient wedding gown. Lily certainly didn't miss the overly starched lace. She was still stuck wearing the undergarments until she found something better. A good, cleansing bath was in order as well. Once her hands were healed, perhaps she could scavenge through the laundry to find a pair of skivvies that no one would notice go missing. Asking Severus would be too humiliating. Where was he?

He left behind some cigarettes and a muggle lighter for her in case she felt the urge for one. Lily would have to force herself to become dependent on Severus. She strongly resented the mere idea of being dependent on anyone or anything, but once again, this was survival. Lily lit the cigarette, with some difficulty, and took a drag. Would the bandages catch on fire? As long as she had the cigarettes, she had Severus. The smell no longer bothered her. Rather, she became accustomed to it. It reminded her of being a child again, playing by the river with the dirty little boy from Spinner's End.

The door quietly opened. "Sev?" Lily excitedly got up from the armchair. "What did you bring?"

His usual stoic face twisted into a smile. For once, in a great long while, Lily was happy to see him. "Beef stew." Severus handed her a pewter mug. Without thinking, Lily flicked the cigarette into the fireplace and started eating. It was still warm. The stew was rich and hearty; the best thing Lily ever ate. Thick, fat cuts of beef, carrots, celery, and chunks of potatoes and a heavy, greasy broth. She drank it straight from the mug and ignored the spoon. "Haven't seen you eat like that in ages." Severus gave her an odd look; "When was the last time you ate, anyways?"

Lily swallowed. "Not for a while. Can't really afford food or cook much on the run." She returned to gulping down the beef stew.

"Didn't Potter feed you?" He asked.

Lily shook her head. "Couldn't eat much, too anxious and had to fit in that stupid dress."

"The kitchens, at least?"

"No. We just pick whatever we find off the plates. Can't let the house elves catch us eating." Lily finished the beef stew in a matter of minutes. She could eat more, but Severus looked stiff. "You alright, Sev?"

"I just thought they'd be feeding you more is all." He said quietly. Lily felt herself getting angry. How could he be so ignorant? She decided against saying anything; they needed to be friends. There was an unpleasant silence. Lily felt as if she could eat more. If she was healthier, that single pewter mug would have filled her with plenty leftover. Severus cleared his throat. "Er … McKinnon asked about you."

"Marlene?" Lily perked up. "Is she alright? How is she? Oh damn, she's probably worried sick about me. What did she say?"

"She's fine." Severus said bitterly. "And harbors a strong distaste for me. Apparently she's under the delusion that you are my prisoner."

She was startled. "Your prisoner? How did she know I'm here in the first place?"

"I do not believe she knows where you are for certain, only that you and I were close at Hogwarts. That would give her enough suspicion of your whereabouts."

Lily felt an odd mix of relief and anxiety. "Well, what did you tell her?"

Severus rolled his eyes. "I only told her what she needed to know. You're safe and alive, and she needs to keep her mouth shut and her nose clean."

"What?" She gaped at him. "Why would you say that to Marlene? You can trust her!"

"It cannot work like that, Lily. I was at dinner. Had I told her I'm keeping you safe in here, my cohorts would overhear, and the both of us would be in deep shit. Even if I talked to McKinnon in secret, I have no doubt she would spread the word to the other servants and they would all try to take refuge here." Severus explained. "Absolutely no one is to know where you are, do you understand?"

Lily begrudgingly nodded. "Did you have to be so rude to her?"

"She approached first and threatened me. We're done talking about this. Let me see your hands, please." Lily didn't appreciate the abrupt subject change. However, it was wise not to say anything. He did have a point; secrecy would keep the both of them alive. Trying to remain passive and friendly was challenging her patience. She held both of her palms up while he sat down across from her and examined them. "Have they been hurting?" He asked.

"A bit. It still hurts whenever I move my fingers."

"What about this?" He pressed a thumb into her palm.

"I feel the pressure, but it doesn't quite hurt as bad."

"That's expected. Burns are most fascinating." Severus pulled his wand out and the bandages started unravelling themselves. "The initial pain is intense, but then the affected area is numbed." The bandages twisted and peeled off like dancing silk ribbons. However, what they revealed wasn't as pleasant. Lily's palms were swollen and bright red. Some spots were still oozing blood, pus, and fluids. It smelled similar to rotting meat.

"It looks worse!" Lily repressed gags.

"Burns are worse before they get better." Severus stated simply, quite unfazed. "However, it wouldn't be wise to keep it covered all day and night. It'll fester – "

"More than it already has?" She interrupted. "It's fucking revolting."

"Exactly. Which is why you'll need to let it air out at night." He saw her squirm uncomfortably. "What's up?"

"Erm …"

A twisted grin appeared. "Not afraid of a little blood, are we?"

"… No."

"Well then-?"

"I'm fucking disgusting!" Lily blurted. "Look at me, I'm a fucking mess! My hands are disgusting, my face is disgusting, I feel disgusting. I smell like I rolled in a sewer and then an ashtray! I'm disgusting!"

"I don't think you're disgusting …"

"Oh, what's wrong with me?" Lily grumbled and slumped in her chair. "I shouldn't even be alive right now. Listen to me." She forced a small laugh and reached for a cigarette, ignoring the intense stinging from her raw hands. "I'm as lucky as it gets. I have somewhere safe, a couple of living friends, and a full stomach. And here I am whinging on about feeling dirty." Lily slowly exhaled and watched the smoke trail and spiral into haze. "What do you think, Sev? Where do servants bathe? Or do you just kill them off when the smell gets bad?"

"What …? No. You can't go back down to the kitchens, remember?"

"Alright then, where do you bathe? Is there a fancy-ass guest lavatory reserved for Death Eaters around here?"

"There's the bathroom down the hall." Severus turned pink. "Is this some sort of … woman thing?"

"What?!" Lily snapped. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Forget I said anything, never mind." He quickly lit a cigarette and looked away.

"No, you better say what you meant!" She narrowed her eyes. "Woman thing? Are you talking about-?"

"Yes! Alright? Whatever you're thinking, yes!" Severus was clearly uncomfortable. "Is that what's going on? Is that what's up with the whinging and shit?"

"No." Lily said quietly, slightly offended. "I haven't had it for a while now." That was the truth. Lily hadn't had a normal cycle since being on the run. The high stress, irregular diet, and lack of self-care was her guess as to why it stopped.

"Oh." There was a stiff pause. Lily sat in the armchair, hunched over, and arms crossed. At first it was only light teasing, but it got far too out of hand. Whereas Severus never intended the conversation to turn so awkward and bitter. He cleared his throat. "Is there … something I should know?"

"Like what?" Lily said tonelessly.

Severus stood up and took the cigarette away from her. "Lily, are you pregnant? Did Potter – anybody – do something to you?!"

She was taken aback by his sudden concern. "I'm not."

"Be honest, you can tell me."

Lily stood up and faced him. "What has gotten into you? I'm not bloody pregnant, you creep! I want a fucking bath!" She plucked her cigarette back, sat back down in the armchair and glared at him. "If I was pregnant, I think I would be the first to know. Why would it matter so much if I was?"

Severus sat down and looked away from her. "Can we not talk about this, please?"

"But why would it-?"

"Enough." There was a note of rough impatience in his voice Lily did not feel like pushing over. She reminded herself they needed to be on friendly terms. "You can use the bathroom at five in the morning; no one is awake that early except the maids. Keep a lookout to make sure none of them see you, so lock the doors. Any time after that, you'll have to wait until supper. That's when the Death Eaters are in the dining hall, eating and talking, and the servants are in the kitchens. Those are your only options."

"Not very good options." She muttered darkly.

"It's that, or I bring up a bucket of hot water and a bedpan. Take it or leave it."

Lily groaned. Waiting overnight and getting up early to use the lavatory would not be pleasant, but her preference wasn't significant. She had to survive. "I suppose I better get some sleep now, or else I'll miss my chance in the morning." She tossed the cigarette and shuffled towards the bed.

"So where am I supposed to sleep, then?" Severus raised an eyebrow.

"Hell if I know." Lily joked as she grabbed a heavy blanket off the bed and playfully threw it at his armchair. "Wherever you slept the other night, I suppose. You wouldn't mind, would you?" She tossed an extra pillow.

"Seriously, Lily?"

"Seriously, Lily?" She teased in a mocking voice and crawled into bed. "Don't look at me like that, Sev. What if we did shifts? We split it; every other night. How does that sound?"

Severus snorted. "You aren't even tired! Besides, you slept in it last night, so technically tonight would be my turn."

"Every other night, starting tonight with me!" She giggled and pulled the covers over her head. "Goodnight, Sev!" Hearing a small laugh from him stirred a warm feeling inside Lily. For just that small moment, they were friendly teenagers again. Between them both, there was a strict unspoken agreement not to quarrel. What difference would it make if she was pregnant? Part of her feared that if a Death Eater accidentally impregnated a servant, it would mean instant death, or a worse fate. Lily worried about Marlene, and wondered when she would see her friend again. Marlene could take care of herself, and clearly she was doing fine. Would Marlene try to find her? Or would Marlene consider her dead and carry on? What was it about that cigarette smell that made Lily want to stay in this room with Severus forever? More questions floated through her thoughts, each demanding a more complicated or uncertain answer. Eventually, they carried Lily off to a peaceful sleep.


	14. Lock Your Door

_**(Disclaimer)**_

It was too early in the morning. All the Death Eaters were either asleep, or they were up because they never slept. The ones that were awake were in the dining hall waiting for an extra early breakfast. In one hand, Marlene carried a can of furniture polish; in the other hand, a certain emerald necklace wrapped in a dirty rag. Everyone in the castle knew the Malfoys were swimming in gold, they didn't bother to hide it, rather, they flaunted their wealth. Marlene overheard countless dinner table conversations that revolved around Narcissa and her filthy rich husband. A new day, a new expensive gift. Upon jewelry, perfumes, exotic silks and potions, the emerald necklace was Narcissa's most prized possession. Like clockwork, Lucius was the first to wake up. He would dress, then patrol the gardens until it was time for breakfast. However, he wouldn't be the one to scour the bedroom. Narcissa insisted that at eight o'clock sharp, breakfast to be brought up to her room; by nine, she was dressed to perfection. She refused to be seen by the other wives and Death Eaters until she was groomed and pampered for the day.

Marlene deduced she only had a few hours before Narcissa would notice her favorite emerald necklace gone. She wrapped the necklace in the dirty rag and tucked it into her apron to cover up any noise. Snape was infamous among the servants for harshly refusing service, let alone drop off so much as a sock to be laundered. _"What is wrong with that man?"_ Marlene thought as she carefully climbed the stairs. Since the laundry maids had no clothes of his, she would have to go straight to the source. Snape's bedroom.

She briskly knocked on the door. "Furniture polished, sir?" Marlene whispered loudly. Someone was running the water in the bathroom across the corridor, so it was nearly impossible to tell if he was in there or not. Cautiously, Marlene held her breath and opened the door.

The room was just as dark as she pictured, but surprisingly cramped. There was an empty fireplace with two black leather armchairs, and across from it was a four-poster bed with the canopy stripped away. No one was sitting in the chairs, at the writing desk, or in bed. It was fair to assume the room was empty, but not for much longer. Where was Lily? Marlene quickly shut the door behind her. She found a pair of black robes discarded on the floor. Careful not to disturb its current position, Marlene slipped the emerald necklace from her apron into the pocket of his robes. Before leaving, she briefly scanned for any evidence of struggle. There was a mysterious streak of dried ink on the wall. No blood, no sweat, and no semen on the bed, only a few red hairs. The stench of cigarettes was overpowering. It was time to go. Just as Marlene opened the door, she gasped. The sound of approaching footsteps and voices were around the corner.

"…. Don't know what Rabastan's problem is." A woman said. "He's had a wretched attitude since he wasn't assigned to the attack on Potter Manor. Jealousy, I'd say."

"With an inflated ego. I fear that may be the reason your Rabastan has lost the favor of the Dark Lord." A man replied.

Bellatrix Lestrange and Snape. Marlene hid behind the door and waited for the both to leave the hallway. Her eyes darted around the room, searching for a place to hide in case the two Death Eaters entered the bedroom. She silently cursed her luck. Any two Death Eaters in the whole castle, and the loud, insane woman and the heartless, sadistic monster are only a few paces away.

"Ugh." The woman grunted. "Look at this, disgusting mudbloods. Not even fit to scrub the floors anymore. I can't tell if it's those bloody house elves or the mudbloods anymore; they all need to be adjusted. By the way, Severus, what happened at dinner last night? Was that the blood traitor bitch who threatened you? What the hell was that about?"

"The blood traitor knows my personal servant. They used to be friendly, is my understanding."

"Hm. It's dangerous business to have two friendly servants; that's how pesky riots start. If I were you, I would have slapped or killed her right there. It isn't proper for the mudbloods and traitors to mouth off to their masters. How's the red haired mudblood performing? Satisfactory, I hope?"

"Very satisfactory." The man stated. "A slight attitude problem, but she's adjusting. The red haired one is conforming to her role more smoothly than expected."

"And is she pleasing you?" Lestrange asked.

"Exactly as she should."

"Well that is excellent to hear. Mulciber tried having a having a personal servant, did you hear?"

"I believe so."

"Can you honestly believe it?" Lestrange snorted loudly. "Didn't have her for a whole day, and he bloody guts her like a fish! His wife was so upset, of course. Rosaline was looking forward to having someone pamper her while her husband was gone. Poor thing isn't aware he fucks all the mudbloods like bloody pigs. You could teach Mulciber a thing or two, Severus."

"Hm." Snape commented. "Their marital affairs are none of our concern, however if Mulciber wishes to please his wife, he could start by leaving more mudbloods for the rest of us bachelors to fuck."

"You have your own mudblood!" She jokingly teased.

"And I am in no way obligated to fuck only her."

Lestrange let out a screech of laughter. "You are cruel, Severus, just cruel! Watch your back, though. Evan and Avery are still fighting over who gets the red haired bitch when you're done with her. Avery Nott is winning, you know." There was a brief pause and the woman completely changed tones. "This was an uplifting chat. I'm going to visit Cissy; she should be waking up soon. I'll see you at breakfast. Remember, Severus, lock your door!" She cackled and walked away.

"Send my regards to her and Lucius!" The sound of heeled boots on stone was gone. Marlene took her chance; it was now or never. Right as she stepped outside the doorframe, Snape grabbed her arm roughly and forced her away from his room. "How long were you in there?"

"I – I was only sent up here to polish the furniture!" Marlene cried.

"A load of shit." He spat. "I saw you! You were sneaking around my room!"

"I was not!"

"Get back to the kitchens before I kill you right here. Now!" Marlene knew better than to test him. He was far more powerful and sadistic than all the other Death Eaters combined. She flipped him off before storming back downstairs. "If I find you in this corridor again, I will kill you. I don't care if you're a breeding pig blood traitor, I will bloody kill you!" Snape yelled after her. Marlene was already around the corner and far out of his reach. Severus on the other hand was seething. McKinnon was a miserable pest. What good did Lily ever see in her? He pounded on the bathroom door. "Are you almost done? Hurry along, It's past six!"

Lily opened the bathroom door. Steam and a wave of flowery perfume seeped out. She had a towel carefully wrapped around her torso and her hair was dripping water onto the floor. "Shush! You're going to wake them all up!"

"Would you hurry up and get dressed!" He hissed. "What were you doing? You spent too long in there!"

"Touchy, touchy." Lily grumbled and went back into the bathroom to change back into her grimy green dress. She was aware she might have taken too long. Along with picking at her burns, Lily had never seen such a wide assortment of magical soaps, bubbles, and shampoos. Soaps that created mountains of bubbles that changed colors; a shampoo that made hair grow; and even a potion that turned the water into cozy, liquid gold. How many did a single person really need? After accidentally creating a massive, bubby mess in the bathtub, Lily desperately tried to get the overpowering smell of lavender out. There was no way she was going to admit she was fooling around with the toiletries. "Sorry, I just fell asleep – ow!" Severus grabbed her and rushed her back into the bedroom. "What's your problem?" She snapped.

"My problem?!" Severus slammed the bedroom door shut and locked it. He jerked the knob several times, testing the lock. "There's so many problems, I don't know where to begin!"

"What are you talking about?" Lily was drying her hair with the towel.

"First off; your pal McKinnon was sneaking around in here!"

"She's probably worried sick! Why didn't you tell her I was in the bathroom?"

"You know why we can't do that! She's already brought attention to the fact that you two are close mates. McKinnon needs to cease her meddling!" Severus fumbled around for a box of cigarettes. "She's going to get all of us in trouble! You, me, herself, and possibly all the other muggleborns! Where are the bloody goddamn cigarettes?!"

"Sev, calm down!" Lily tossed the towel to the ground and reached an arm under the pillows on the bed. Her fingertips grazed the flimsy box. "They're right here. Just sit and calm down." After a few drags, he seemed to be less explosive. The silent fury was still present. "Better?"

"No." He spat. "I've received word that we seem to have other stalkers. Avery Nott and Evan Rosier. Nott is the bloody freak who tried jumping you after you lost consciousness."

"What's going on?" She felt something sinister twisting around in her stomach.

"I'm not certain, but they're planning something. Along the lines of pulling an attack when I'm not around."

Lily felt sick. She thought she was safe and hidden away from the Death Eaters and their wicked ideas. How could such abominations be so obsessed with her? This wasn't anything like James Potter making a fool of himself competing for Lily's affection. These were two men primitively using her as a trophy; fair game to win and fight for. Sport. "Nice to know I'm not missed." Lily said dryly, masking her disgust. "What are we going to do?"

Severus was focused on the empty fireplace, lost in deep thought. "You won't be able to leave this room without my supervision, that's the first precaution. Those two idiots could strike at any time, we'll have to cover any and all weaknesses." Severus started listing off curses to seal the bedroom door. Lily stopped listening.

She lit a cigarette of her own and wandered over to the bed and carelessly flopped herself on top. Lily stared up at the ceiling. The ancient stone had a funny pattern. Was it cracked because of the age, or was that just the design? Lily craved to be done with this wretched hell. Survival was only necessary to stay alive, but she was impatient. What was it like outside … in the forest, just outside the walls of the castle? Lily imagined breathing in the crisp, cold air. The gentle whistle of a songbird guided her through the thick trees, past a sunny meadow, and to a rippling creek …

"Lily!" Severus yelled. "Have you even been listening?"

"Sev, come over here."

"What?"

"Just come over here. Lay down and look straight up."

"Lily, what are you doing?"

"Trust me, just do it." Lily and Severus were both laying face-up and looking at the ceiling.

"What am I supposed to be looking at?" There was a small edge of annoyance. A muffled metallic rattling was heard somewhere from the floor. He shrugged it off pipes or sounds from the kitchens.

"Just relax." Lily closed her eyes. "What do you want to do when you get out of here, Sev?"

"I dunno …"

"What's the first thing you think of? No stupid Death Eaters, no castles, no rules. You can do whatever you want, go wherever, and money isn't an issue. Close your eyes, and what's the first thing that pops into your head?"

There was a small moment of silence. The rattling seemed louder. "You first." He said, ignoring the noise.

She inhaled deeply. "I'm in a meadow. There's tall green grass everywhere, maybe some pretty wildflowers. I can see some hills, and maybe a few mountains far away with snowcaps. The weather is quite pleasant. It's sunny, but not too hot. Some fluffy white clouds in the sky to block the sun every now and then. It smells fresh and clean. I can hear a stream nearby; it sounds so soothing it could put you to sleep." Lily couldn't help but smile. "I feel like I'm planning a party. Everyone is there, Mum and Dad, Tuney, Mary, and Marlene. Maybe you're there too, Sev. I don't know what the occasion is, but everyone is happy and healthy. We're all sitting on a gingham picnic blanket eating sandwiches and chocolate cake. We're all getting along, just talking and talking for hours."

Severus stopped smoking. He hadn't had a good look at Lily for a while. She looked thinner and paler. Her cheeks used to be freckled, full, and always smiling. Now, they were slightly sunken in. Her freckles were gone. For just a moment, when she smiled, he could truly see her shine through the shell. For just that moment, she was the wonderful girl he fell in love with.

"Now what do you see?" Lily opened her eyes.

"I don't know, I can't do this kind of thing –"

"C'mon, Sev, it's easy. If you weren't a Death Eater, what would you be?"

"I don't know." Severus quietly laughed. "Maybe I'd be a healer or work at the Ministry or something boring like that."

"Really?" Lily grinned. "I always thought you would be a professor or a writer. I remember you scribbling all those annotations and notes in books all the time."

He snorted. "I hate children."

"You hate everything." She playfully tossed a pillow at him.

"I do not!" He scowled and hit the pillow away. It landed on the floor with a puff of dust. The odd, metallic rattling was finally silenced.

"Yes you do! Name one thing you actually like." She interjected, "but it can't be books, or magic, or any of that. You have to surprise me."

"Why do I have to do this, again?"

"Because you need to lighten up, Sev. It's always darkness and negativity with you. C'mon, one thing you like."

Suddenly, they were both ripped out of their own imaginary worlds. An inhuman shriek pierced through the walls, _"WHO TOOK IT?! WHO BLOODY TOOK IT?!"_

"Sounds like it came from upstairs." Severus muttered darkly. "This can't be good."

"What's going on?" Lily bolted up.

"I'll poke around." He got up and put his robes on. "That sounded like Narcissa. You stay here and wait; I won't be too long."

Before Severus closed the door behind him, Lily felt something warm inside her. It made her nervous, but oddly connected to him. "Sev!" Lily called out. "Be careful … please." There was a brief moment of connection. Black met green; suspended by a bond in the cold air and frozen time. What was this sensation?

"I – I …" Severus quietly fumbled for words. "Erm … I'll be careful." The door closed and the lock clicked. There was silence.


	15. Rough Justice

_**(Disclaimer)**_

" _Idiot!"_ He thought to himself. " _You fucking idiot!"_ Severus still stood outside the bedroom door. How could he be so stupid and lose his words? That could have been the perfect chance to tell her. He was so close, and at the last moment, nothing. He reached for the doorknob. Should he go back in and tell her? There was possibly a minute or two to explain. How would he respond? Suddenly, he stopped. " _Why would she love you?"_ A snide voice in the back of his head sneered. " _You know exactly how she'll fucking respond. She'll run away from you again."_ Severus walked away from the door and continued down the corridor. What was the point in telling Lily anyways? The deal was to keep her safe; the last thing Lily would want was feeling more uncomfortable around him.

" _If you weren't a Death Eater, what would you be?"_ Lily's voice echoed in his mind. _"I always thought you would be a professor or a writer."_ Among many dark, twisting thoughts, her words provided a light. Did she really think Severus could be anything else? The light gave a glimmer of hope that maybe, in a crazy venture of speculation, there was a way out this lifestyle. What would that be like? No more lodging up in wealthy Death Eater's estates. No bickering pureblood discussions. No more hunting and killing muggles. No more vicious brawls that ended in bloodshed. No more of any of it. Just peace. It seemed oddly surreal to Severus. For once, no struggle or worry. She smells like lavender ….

"There you are." Avery Nott muttered as Severus entered the main hall. Any warm thoughts about Lily were forced down.

"What's going on here? I heard a scream."

The servants were roughly herded into the large hall by a few Death Eaters. They all had panicked faces, and many were already in silent tears. The anticipation of slaughter, torture, and abuse was imminent. The Death Eaters on the other hand, were only lightly amused. Another day, but a rare and delightful change of routine. Smirks played on their faces as they brutally cursed the girls. Narcissa sat in an armchair, shaking with anger as she gripped her wand in one hand, and her husband's hand in the other. Both Malfoys glared at the servants as the Death Eaters forced them to their knees in the center.

"If I hear another sound from any of you ungrateful creatures, I'll slit your bloody throats! One by one!" Severus instantly knew who the ringleader was; obviously Bellatrix. The witch screamed again. "I'm going to ask this one more time! Who took it?!"

Nott slowly leaned in. "Narcissa's emerald necklace is missing. One of the mudbloods snatched it."

"Not likely." Severus muttered back. "That woman already owns so much jewelry, it's impossible to keep track of. Has she tried summoning it?"

"Yes, and it didn't come. The room was searched and turned upside down. One of those bitches had to have it."

"Not a jealous witch? Narcissa doesn't hold back when she brags about the necklace at dinner or any other socials. It's not exactly a secret how much Lucius spends on her …"

"AGAIN!" Bellatrix shouted. A flash of green light burst from her wand and a servant crumpled to the ground. "Who took it?!"

"This is nonsense, Bella!" Lucius announced; trying to be heard over the screaming muggleborns. "If a mudblood stole it, it's very unlikely that she would tell the others. _Accio._ "

Severus felt something heavy move around in the pocket of his robes. Suddenly, the emerald necklace flew from his pocket and straight to Lucius' hand. A hush fell over the entire hall. Every single Death Eater stared at Severus. Severus on the other hand, felt his heartrate increase, from an extreme fluctuation between fury and nervousness. Immediately, he knew who planted that necklace there. McKinnon. That sly bitch.

"You?!" Narcissa angrily pointed her wand at him.

Lucius was quick to dismiss her. "Now, darling, what would Severus do with your emerald necklace? Of course you didn't steal it, right?"

"Certainly not." Severus bristled. "But a certain filthy bitch in here did." He turned to glare at Marlene who was stubbornly glaring back at him.

Before he could finish, Bellatrix interrupted him. "It's his personal servant! The red haired slut! She tried to frame her master!" This announcement caused several gasps and skeptical looks. Bellatrix grabbed Marlene by the throat and roughly showed her around. "Severus told me this blood traitor bitch is friends with his personal servant! The two must have been conspiring together in secret to frame Severus!" Bellatrix gestured for one of the other Death Eaters to go upstairs and grab Lily. "Is this not the bitch who cleaned your bathtub a few nights ago?" Bellatrix pulled Marlene by the hair over to her sister. "Look at her, Cissy. Is this that one?"

"She could be. The face is rather familiar." Narcissa studied her closely. "It's the blood traitor! It's her!"

Severus cleared his throat. "This is the creature who dared to threaten me over dinner last night. Earlier this morning, I caught her scavenging though my room!"

"Do you see?" Bellatrix shouted; wrapped up in her own accusations and hatred. "This clever little bitch thinks she can disrespect us! A proud and confident pureblood witch! But a pathetic, stupid fool of a blood traitor." She threw Marlene to the ground with surprising strength. "In this castle, if you betray your kind, you pay the price! A thief AND a blood traitor? What say you lot? Should we make an example of her?" Bellatrix whipped out her wand. Suddenly, Marlene was writhing and screaming. "I don't think this nasty little cunt learned her lesson. What do you think, boys?"

"Let Severus decide!" Rosier yelled out with a sickening smile. "The little shit tried to frame him!"

"That was my necklace stolen!" Narcissa shrieked at Rosier, who at once stepped back. Narcissa was mostly known for being the charming social butterfly and the voice of the Death Eater's wives. However, when pushed to a certain point, she was not to be challenged. Her rage strongly resembled her sister's. "I say they both die! I'll kill them both myself!"

"I beg your pardon, but the red haired muggleborn is my own personal servant!" Severus argued, unafraid of the woman. "Her fate is under my jurisdiction!"

"I have a proposition." Lucius was very calm, acting as a mediator. "There is no doubt that the blood traitor and the mudblood conspired. However, a valuable gift of my darling was stolen and justice must be carried out. Severus has a preference for keeping a personal servant. Fair is fair; one of them will die and the other will be severely punished. Severus gets to choose and carry out the deed."

Severus had a feeling of what would happen. He had already made his mind up the second Lucius made the proposition. He loathed McKinnon. There wasn't a rumor or piece of gossip she didn't start and spread. She was constantly prancing around Potter and Black; desperate for attention from either. He was jealous Lily seemed to value McKinnon over him as a friend. Nonetheless, McKinnon was all Lily had left to hang onto; Lily's hope for escaping and returning to the normal life she craved. If McKinnon was spared, Lily would have to be the one to die. Severus calmly pulled out his wand.

Marlene had already sustained a broken nose and a swollen eye. She lifted her head to face him. The fiery fighting spirit was still burning inside her. Every agonizing piece of her stared at him with an intense hatred that couldn't be matched by even Bellatrix. In a flash of green light, Marlene's head dropped to the floor and her body went rigidly still. Marlene McKinnon was no more.


	16. Uneternal Sleep

_**(Disclaimer)**_

Severus was gone for too long. Something didn't feel right. Lily paced around the bedroom. She considered the cigarettes left behind on the table, but something wasn't settling right with her. She was too agitated to smoke. Lily simply couldn't explain it to herself. What was this odd tangled feeling? She was well accustomed to fear, and this wasn't quite it; it was more intimate. Fear for someone else? _"Why do you care about him?"_ Her conscience hissed. Severus knew his way around, probably better than most. Lily reminded herself that he was only part of the Death Eaters for survival, and yet he held and maintained a high rank. _"If he wanted to hurt you, he would have done it by now."_ Why did Severus want her around so badly? She didn't believe for a moment it was because he solely wanted company. Blackmail, perhaps? Was he planning on selling her? Lily couldn't think of any other logical reasons.

Initially, he had made it very clear that he didn't participate in the sickening Death Eater lifestyle. Rather, Severus found her alone and took her away before anything happened. Therefore, it wasn't too likely that he would have underlying insidious intents. Besides, Severus held all the power in this unlikely partnership; a wand, insider experience and intelligence, as well as multiple powerful allies. Whereas Lily had her burnt hands and quick wit. If he felt like it, technically Severus could do whatever he pleased with her and Lily would be powerless to stop it. However, Lily knew how unpredictable he could be. Unpredictable yet patient. He could be watching her to dig her own grave under the façade of care and good intentions and have undisclosed plans. _"Look at all those dirty clothes … You could use them to open the window and break out!"_

"You're losing it in here." Lily muttered to herself and dismissed her thoughts. She was overthinking it all. There was probably some small disagreement between the Death Eaters and Severus was only lingering to keep up normality. Or he was picking up breakfast for her from the kitchens. Of course it was nothing to worry about. Lily pulled the heavy drapes. Even though her hands were still tender from her last incident with the window, Lily wasn't afraid to look outside. It was morning, but the sun had yet to come out and peek through the clouds. She still pondered what it would be like to explore the forest surrounding this mysterious castle.

"Gotcha! Little whore!" A pair of callused hands gripped her arms and forced them behind her. A rope was conjured and twisted its way around her wrists. Two burly men wrestled Lily to the ground and pinned her down. A hex made her immobile. It was the wedding all over again.

"Look at 'er, pretty face and all."

"Bloody thief is what she is."

"Let me go!" Lily struggled, but couldn't even wiggle her fingers. A swift kick to the face, and everything went black.

"Look at the hands on this one." A woman's deep voice snorted. "She's already tried to escape. Nothing but trouble …"

Lily slowly came to. She was laying on her side on some threadbare carpet, arms still bound together behind her back. The air smelled perfumed and dusty, but poisoned with the metallic scent of blood. Something heavy was being dragged across the wood floor. Was she back in the kitchens? The fancy carpet, however, told her otherwise. Upon lifting her head, seeing Marlene McKinnon being pulled out of the room immediately plunged Lily into panic. "Marlene!" The ghostly pale skin, blood, and fixed expression …. Marlene McKinnon was dead. Lily figured she was in the main hall. Dark figures surrounded her, a few with masks on, some sitting, some standing. All their eyes were on her.

Suddenly, a woman approached her. She gripped her face and studied it closely. Lily felt dirty fingernails dig into her cheeks. "Cissy, look at the eyes. They would complement your emeralds quite nicely." The woman had the gaunt features of someone much older, but yet she still looked quite youthful. Inky black hair and robes. Those eyes looked into Lily with a wild intensity. "Very, very green. Look for yourself." The witch forced Lily to face another woman.

This woman had similar features to the first, but had frigid blue eyes and platinum hair. Lily knew this woman was a Malfoy. The stiff and elegant pose in the chair and seemingly permanent expression of pretentious disdain, she had to be Narcissa Malfoy. Narcissa only narrowed her eyes. "I don't care for the comparison of my jewelry to the eyes of a thieving mudblood."

Bellatrix shoved Lily back down to the ground. "I say we pluck her eyes out. She won't be green with envy anymore."

Many Death Eaters applauded at the notion. "A blind servant is just as useless as a dead one." Nott protested. "Maybe good for a fuck or two, but they can't bloody see shit."

"Are we forgetting she is my personal servant under my jurisdiction, Avery?" A familiar voice snapped.

"Sev!" Lily crawled on her knees towards him. "Sev, what's going on?" Why wasn't he looking her?

"Disrespectful little whore!" Bellatrix raised a hand and struck Lily across the face. "You will only speak when spoken to! How dare you frame your master!" Another strike. "You dare to steal a priceless gift from my sister and use it to frame your master?! You deserve to die and more, mudblood filth!"

Each strike came with its own stinging pain. Lily forced herself to think of Marlene's words. _"You just go numb after midnight …"_ It wasn't midnight, but that didn't stop Lily from trying to mentally detach herself away from her body and the pain. Marlene is dead. After the blows resided, Lily's face tingled with some residual pain. "Sev, look at me!" She called out. "What are they talking about? You know I didn't steal anything! Look at me!" Another blow. This time, in the jaw.

"You shall speak when spoken to!" Bellatrix whipped out her wand. "You were correct about the attitude problem, Severus. This one certainly has an issue when given orders by her authorities."

"Don't hog 'er!" A masked Death Eater yelled, already with his wand out.

"Shut up!" Bellatrix snapped. "The mudblood stole Cissy's necklace and tried to frame Severus for it! It's only justice!"

" _Justice?"_ Lily silently mocked. She ignored Bellatrix and the masked Death Eater's brawl and crawled on her knees towards Severus again. "You know I didn't steal anything! I don't know where her necklace is! But you and I both know I couldn't have stolen it! Sev, please look at me! You know I wouldn't do that to you! I didn't frame you, Sev!" Her pleads were only answered with silence. Severus was staring through the wall. She knew he was listening. Why wouldn't he look at her?

"Doesn't know how to listen!" Narcissa shouted. "Look at her chattering away! It only proves intelligence and beauty don't breed together regarding mudbloods."

"Severus, look at me!"

"You will only speak when spoken to, stupid, dirty mudblood!"

"Give the rest of us a turn, you crazy bitch!"

"Silence, Nott! Or I'll cut your throat in your sleep!"

"You fuckin' won't!"

"Sev!"

"Enough!" Lucius' voice carried over the chaos, immediately silencing everybody. "This isn't productive! Nott, Wilkes, step down! Bellatrix, step aside! The sooner we get this over and done with, the sooner the mudbloods can clean and serve us a decent lunch this afternoon! Cissy, you first, darling."

Narcissa wrinkled her nose. "I don't think so. This one's a fighter, I'll most likely end up killing her. You go, Severus."

Lily instantly knew Narcissa's excuse was false. She was a much weaker witch than her sister. Lily's heart was almost pounding out of her chest. They were speaking of torturing her. Punishing her for a crime she didn't commit. Surely Severus knew she wasn't guilty? Poor Marlene was most likely killed because of missing necklace. Angering one of the wives, or disrupting any Death Eater, as an unspoken rule, punishable by death. Quickly, her eyes darted around the room, desperate for any way to escape. She was surrounded by Death Eaters. Each one of them carrying wands and hungry to inflict pain. Any attempt to flee, and Lily would be met with the same fate as Mary and now, Marlene.

"Very well." Lucius stated calmly. "Severus, she's yours."

Lily looked up. Severus was finally looking at her. It was impossible to read his face. He looked angry, yet so oddly collected. Lily's worst fears were confirmed. This was the moment Severus would betray her. How could she have been so foolish as to trust him? Lily glared into the dark eyes of her former childhood friend and captor; testing him once more. Severus wouldn't do it. She felt it in her gut. The other Death Eaters would lose patience and take over instead.

"Well?" Bellatrix stomped impatiently.

How did he ever end up in this situation? Why did he have to be the one to torture Lily? Perhaps it would have been easier to just kill her? Severus looked into Lily's green eyes. Those green eyes glared back; full of confusion, anger, and betrayal. The idea of killing Lily was agonizing. After everything he did to ensure Lily's tracks were covered until the last moment? After keeping her safe and locked away from the Death Eaters? How could Severus even lift his wand to her? All eyes were on him now. The Death Eaters were grinning with sadistic anticipation. Lily was the only scowl. With reluctance, Severus gripped his wand and pointed at Lily; right between the eyes. This was the last moment. After this, Lily would never trust him again. " _Please forgive me for what I'm about to do."_ She still smells like lavender ….

Lily's agonized screams pierced through the hall and the rest of the castle. Blood and tears flowing freely, as the same wand that produced the bandages to heal Lily's hands, became the wand that inflicted her uneternal suffering.


	17. Words of Love

"Look at it. Pathetic." Bellatrix snorted.

Lily was unresponsive. Her motionless body laid crumpled on the floor like an abandoned plaything. She fought hard. Once or twice, Lily managed to successfully throw off his curse. That didn't please the Death Eaters for long. They yearned for cruelty. Severus was forced to spill blood. Not long after, Lily stopped screaming. Her body jerked and writhed under the pain with labored breath. By the time the blood was soaked through the carpet, she ceased responding at all.

Two muggleborn servants were brought in to carry her body back upstairs plus a few more servants to scrub the blood off the carpet. Severus was fixated on the blood stains. The Death Eater's conversation warped in and out. What had he done? Lily still had to be alive; Severus knew it.

"That was something." Avery Nott yawned. "We should do this in the dining hall next time. Breakfast and a show."

"My stolen jewelry is a show?! Sideshow entertainment?!" Narcissa shrieked at him. "How dare you!"

"Now, calm down, miss, I didn't mean that …" It was too late for Nott to correct himself.

"Don't disrespect Cissy, you cunt!" Bellatrix snapped.

"Now, really – " Lucius started.

While the quartet got into a loud argument, other Death Eaters, including Severus took the opportunity to leave the hall. If one lingered behind just to watch the brawl, they would be accidentally hexed or dragged into it. The Death Eaters went into the dining hall to check on breakfast. Severus went upstairs unnoticed. Everything was a blur. The echoes of Bellatrix's shrill voice mingled with the ghosts of Lily's screams as he climbed the stairs. He can't shake the image of those green eyes staring into him. Why did he do it? There must have been a way to talk the others out of it somehow. But he didn't.

Lily looked as if she was hastily tossed on the bed by the servants. The blood was still flowing. These curses Severus invented were never intended to be used on her. They were used on deserving enemies. She didn't deserve this. Being brought to this castle, forced to serve under perverted scrutiny, and betrayal, she deserved none of it. Often many times before, Severus questioned his loyalty to the Death Eaters. They consisted of fickle, wealthy inbred families playing out their sick desires on innocent muggleborns and muggles. This disturbing behavior was widely accepted, as long as it was performed in the name of cleansing for the Dark Lord. As vile and rough as they were, the Death Eaters provided a sense of normality that Severus only experienced at Hogwarts. A private bed and room, hot meals daily, and acceptance.

" _What would you be if you weren't a Death Eater?"_ Lily's question haunted him. It was surreal to believe there could have been a different life without the Death Eaters. Severus could heal the flesh. He wasn't as certain about her other internal wounds. He was a monster; and that is what she would awaken to see. A monster. The monster who dared to hope someone like Lily could fall in love with him. The same monster who gave her refuge from the desires of the Death Eaters; he gave her moments of light. The very same monster that slaughtered Marlene McKinnon and brutally tortured Lily.

Lily's gashes were healed. Severus was trembling. She still wasn't awake. "Lily?" He checked her wrists and neck; he couldn't feel a pulse. Silently panicking, he put his head to her chest, hoping for a heartbeat. Severus could faintly hear a weak heart. Initially, Severus feared she would loathe him upon waking up. Now, it was uncertain if she would wake up at all. He could tolerate the thought of her never speaking to him again, but Lily could not die. She was the only guiding light in this darkness. "Please, Lily." Severus climbed on the bed and shook her. She didn't stir. "Lily, wake up." He felt tears. If she couldn't wake up, this would be it. Severus held onto her motionless body tightly. "I've been thinking a lot about what you said." He choked; hoping Lily could hear him somehow. "I know what I would be if I wasn't a Death Eater. What I should be. Please, Lily, please wake up!" He only held her tighter. Lily's hair was still damp from her bath. She still smells like lavender. "Don't go, please, Lily! Don't go. Don't leave me. I love you."

" _What would you be if you weren't a Death Eater?"_

 _Peace. The sound of the ocean's waves splashing the cliffs below. A gentle breeze blowing through the cracks of the wood planks; bringing in the lavender fields and salty air. It was just barely morning, and the bright sun was shining through the few clouds in the endless blue skies. Waking up, surrounded by light, and white linen. The brightness outside shines through the colored sea glass windows, speckling the wooden floor and walls with transparent blues and greens. The breeze plays with some wind chimes somewhere distant._

 _He turns to the other side of the bed, and she is sleeping right next to him. She looks so peaceful, with the hint of a smile on her lips as she rested. The cotton blankets draped over her figure, shoulders to hips, revealing a small, round bump just below her waist. Her skin was almost glowing. She looks so angelic. As if aware of his gaze, she wakes up. Upon seeing him, she smiles and kisses him. "Good morning, love."_

 _He eagerly responds to her kiss. "How are you feeling this morning? Not too shaken up from last night, I see."_

" _Can't keep off me for too long, can you?" She laughs and teasingly pushes his face away. "Nearly every waking hour now you have back here."_

" _I didn't hear you complaining about it last night." He kisses her again. "How's the baby?"_

" _Still there, obviously," she joked. She tenderly laid a hand on her belly. "And growing. I can't believe this is actually happening!"_

" _Why?"_

" _I suppose I never pictured myself pregnant." She was lost in wondrous thoughts of her own. "What do you think? We won't really know until the day comes, but what do you think anyways, boy or girl?"_

 _He started stroking her belly. The bump felt so oddly firm compared to the rest of her soft body. "I dunno. What if it's twins or more? Then what?"_

 _She quietly laughed. "That's possible. But what will they look like? I think they'll look more like you!"_

" _Like me? You made the other half of whatever is in there! Guaranteed, it'll have your eyes."_

" _My eyes? What makes you say that?"_

" _I just know it." He couldn't quite believe it himself. He never pictured having children of his own. Yet here they were, young lovers, nineteen and twenty, and already expecting. There was a new feeling. The primal urge to find the most suitable mate and reproduce, but much more. He felt a new wave of protectiveness for her and their unborn child. Who knew if it would be a boy or girl? Just one child or twins, or triplets. But he didn't care what was in there. Even if the child didn't have her eyes, or his features, or even if the child was a squib, he would love it, regardless. "What do you want it to be?" He asked her. "What does your gut tell you?"_

 _She smiled and looked at her bump. "I think it's a boy."_

" _A boy?"_

" _Yeah, just one boy. Born a little small, but with a full head of black hair, for sure. I think he'll resemble his father quite a bit." She looked at him with hopeful eyes. "I just know it."_

 _He smiled. "Thought of any names yet?"_

" _Names?" She laughed. "We still have eons to decide on a name. I don't want to pick out a name too soon, what if it's a girl or twins?"_

" _Fair enough. I would prefer to gift a proper name, rather than 'it' all the time." He moved his hands to her waist, pulled her close and kissed her. "We should be up and about soon; the sun is already out."_

" _If you say so." She returned the kiss._

 _Together, they slowly crawled out of bed. The man took in his surroundings and looked through the sea glass windows. They shared a tiny and modest cottage next to a stretch of coastline. Dried herbs and magical plants hung from a rafter above. The perfume of sea salt and lavender was incredibly pleasant. It smelled like home. The woman tossed on a simple white cotton dress and opened up a few cabinets that served as their kitchen quarters. "We still have about a half a loaf of bread left and a tin of beans."_

" _I can get by without breakfast." The man said while straightening his shirt. "Are you hungry? You should eat."_

" _A bit, but I can hold off until lunch. Could you run by the market if you go into town today? After we sell some more books and herbs we should have enough food to last us the week." She glanced at an antique table littered with endless rolls of parchment and ink bottles. "Still no owl from Blotts? It should be here by today."_

" _Hm. I'll give him another day before I write. It's been almost two weeks; it doesn't take that long to review a first draft of a textbook."_

" _The sooner you get your owl; the sooner I'll have my dinner table back." She teased, gesturing at the mess of parchment, quills, and ink pots._

" _It'll be gone by tonight. I promise. You promise me you won't lift anything heavy, or stay out in the sun for too long – "_

" _Love, I know." She kissed him on the cheek and handed him a canvas bag filled with bunches of dried lavender and herbs. "Be a dear and drop this off at the apothecary. I'll be out in the field when you get back."_

" _Promise me you'll be careful?" The man asked skeptically. She was the quite the risk taker and he was unsure if she would grow out of it in time for the baby._

" _I will! Don't you trust me?" She grinned._

" _Absolutely not." He said sarcastically._

 _She laughed and jokingly pushed him towards the door. "Be on your way, love!"_

 _In this haven, he was not dictated by the rules. No longer a strategist for the Death Eaters, but perhaps an aspiring writer, breaking into the field of writing textbooks. No moving between pureblood castles and estates, but rather living comfortably in a cozy cottage by the shore. Here, Lily loved him truly. She loved him so much, she would marry him, wake up and fall asleep in his arms every day. She was healthy and happy; far away from the hateful world that betrayed her. She grew magical plants and herbs for the wizarding village not far away from their cottage. If he never joined the Death Eaters, or if he left them early enough, this was how perfect their life would be. Returning from the market, he saw her fluttering white dress in the endless lavender fields behind the cottage. The sun was starting to set, casting the sky into a bright ruby expanse with deep plum clouds. Why must the days here be so short? He watched her._

 _For a moment longer, this could still be real._

 _He went outside and found her in the lavender fields. She carried a basket, carefully picking the best flowers to be dried or sold fresh to a passerby as a bouquet. She didn't seem aware of his presence. While she worked, she was absently singing and humming to a tune. In between flowers, her hand would occasionally drop to touch her belly. Her deep red curls were waved as if they recently came out of a braid. She was so beautiful. "What are you doing, love?" She smiled when she saw him._

" _Am I not allowed to look in admiration at my own wife?"_

 _She giggled and set the basket down in the field. "Come and watch the sunset with me." She gently took his hand and pulled him towards the beach on the other side of the cottage. Here, she couldn't see the Dark Mark on his forearm. "The owl came while you were in town. You'll never believe it!"_

" _What? Did I –?"_

" _Yes! They accepted! You're going to be published!" She embraced him tightly. "I'm so proud of you!"_

 _He held her closely. "I can't believe it."_

" _Neither can I! We'll have to buy a printing press and enchant it, you'll be receiving letters from students and scholars daily, I can't believe it! What will we do when the baby arrives? Where would we start - ?"_

" _Here." The man sat down on the warm sand and playfully pulled her down next to him. She rested her head on his shoulder. Together, in comfortable silence, they watched the sun turn the sky from a rainbow of bright warm colors to cool burgundy. The chilly winds from the sea started picking up. The cold was setting in. Once it was nightfall, he knew the dream would be over. She settled closer to him, feeling warmth. He slid a hand under her dress to feel her belly. She placed her hand on top of his._

 _In this moment, this was real. Here, she could live and do so happily. In this world, they were both free. It felt so incredibly real. Watching the sunset with her, holding her and their child. This was what his life would have been without the Death Eaters. "Lily … I love you."_

" _I love you, Sev." How could it be? How could it be that only here could she speak words of love so plainly; as if she said it every day, every hour of her life? He felt hot tears sliding down his face. The moon was full and silver tonight. The stars glittered in the void above. The dream would end soon. Why must the days here be so short? How could the id manifest his desires so cruelly, yet so beautiful? An unfair glimpse into a peaceful life where they loved, right before having a child. What he would give, the things he would do to spend one moment more in this fantasy._

 **More info posted on my profile. Thank you all.**

 **-Montosse**


	18. No Hatred

**This has been an amazing journey. A friendly reminder to check my profile; that is where estimates for the next updates will be posted. I will be on the move shortly, so there is a possibility updates will be spaced out. Thank you all who have been kind to read thus far as well as my regular (and newer) reviewers. Yes, I notice you. Any interesting questions will also be answered on my profile. I would rather not post in my own work often.**

 **-Montosse**

 _ **(Disclaimer)**_

Lily jerked awake. The wretched taste of bile and blood was caught in her mouth. Immediately, her stomach lurched. Lily was back in the bedroom. Someone was holding her. A hand was under dress and resting on her bare stomach. The other was wrapped tightly around her chest. She bit her tongue to keep from gasping. It was Severus. Lily knew better than to wake him. Panicking, she quickly crawled out of his grasp and off the bed. It was a grave error to trust him. How could she be so foolish? Marlene warned her on the first day to beware of him. _Marlene._ Lily forced herself not to think of her late best friend. Severus set up a trap, and she stupidly walked into it like a child, hoping for a partnership and safety. He was just as treacherous as the rest of the Death Eaters, only he was clever enough to hide behind good intentions and lies. And Lily believed them all.

She examined herself for any proof or markings. Lily was missing time since being tortured on the entry hall carpet. If Severus could willingly abuse her in front of the others, he was highly capable of worse. Her body was covered with scars in varying states of healing, as well as bruises. It was impossible to tell if he raped her or not. "I need to get out of here." She muttered to herself. The window wasn't an option; she couldn't risk burning her hands again. The door. Lily quietly tried to open the bedroom door, but it was pointless. Locked. Her eyes found Severus' wand. It was on top of the side table, oddly forgotten. She remembered him saying that if any of the servants use magic, they'll be executed on the spot. Lily didn't know if that was the truth, or another one of his lies. Eventually, she decided it wasn't worth the risk. She would have to find the key.

Severus was still asleep. Lily began to dig through his clothes. Every pocket, sleeve, and lapel had to be turned inside out. No luck. She only found handfuls of lint, a couple knuts, a bloody handkerchief, and a new box of cigarettes. Lily gritted her teeth in frustration. She knew there was a key. But where was it? It dawned on her that Severus might be carrying it on him. The last thing she wanted to do was wake him. Lily silently went to the bed. _"Is there no easier way?"_ She thought bitterly as she slipped a hand in a pocket. Nothing. Lily tried the next. Her fingers brushed something cold and metallic; a ring of keys. She carefully pulled the key ring out. Lily, almost too excited at her brief success, slipped on one of his shirts she turned inside-out. Lily and the keys loudly clambered to the floor.

"Lily?" Severus was awake. Lily cursed her luck. However, she had the advantage of being wide awake. When she got to her feet, she snatched his wand from the bedside table. It had been a good while since Lily last held a wand. She felt an immediate surge of magical power. His wand was significantly longer than hers, but incredibly powerful. "You're alive!" Severus was already out of bed.

"Stay there." Lily raised the wand with a shaky hand.

He looked both bewildered, yet collected. "That's my wand."

"What happened?" Why couldn't she stop shaking? "What did you do to me?"

"Lily, I can explain everything! Just give me back my wand!"

"No!" Lily snapped, keeping the wand firmly pointed at him. "Your bloody hands were up my dress, you sick pig! Why were you in bed with me? You violated me!"

"You need to calm down or else you're going to get us both in trouble!" He was turning red. "I don't know what you're talking about! I wasn't touching you! I would never do that to you!"

"Liar!" Lily felt her throat turn hot. She could not cry in front of him She couldn't show any weakness, but nothing could stop them from flowing. "You're just like the rest of them!"

"Lily, please listen –." Severus started towards her, but she only raised the wand and stepped away. "Please understand! Back in the hall; understand I had no choice!"

"No! You're – you're disgusting! I knew I shouldn't have trusted you! How could you?! You and your slimy friends …" Lily's eyes wandered to the key ring she left on the floor.

Severus picked up the keys wordlessly. He looked up at her with burning eyes. "You're leaving, then. Aren't you?" He asked with a shaking voice.

"I thought we had an agreement!" Lily shouted. Purple sparks flew out of the wand. It was unnerving how quickly his wand was connected to her; almost like her own wand. "You were supposed to keep me away from all that! How could you …? You idiot Death Eaters are all the fucking same! You're no different than the rest of them! I thought I could trust you! We had a bloody deal!"

"You need to heal …"

"Heal?!" She shrieked. "Look at me! Do I look bloody healed to you? It's been ages and my hands look the bloody same! Then you and your sick, twisted friends … bleed me out and beat me for sport! Is this what you call healing?!"

"Don't go!"

"Why am I here?!" Lily yelled at him. "What makes a pathetic mudblood so bloody important to you?!"

"Put down the wand, please Lily." Severus was advancing.

She backed away from him. "Why am I here, Severus?" Lily gripped the wand tightly, but she was still trembling with anger. "Why am I here?!"

He stood in numb silence. Of all the times to tell her, did it have to be now? The damage was done and Lily rightously loathed him for it. Thankfully, alive and breathing, as well as moving; but she hated him. What more did he have to lose? Severus looked into Lily, his own voice trembling. "You're here … because ..."

"Why?!" Lily yelled impatiently.

"Because I love you, Lily!" Severus shouted, matching her volume. "You're too fucking stubborn for your own good! You never listen to my warnings let alone anything I say at all! You try too hard to find a battle where there is none! You've convinced yourself that you are without fault or prejudice, yet you remain ignorant of the reality around you! But I fucking love you, Lily. And I'll be damned to hell if you take a step out of this bloody room!"

Lily's eyes widened. She was utterly speechless. Her body went numb. What he said couldn't have been true. This was another pathetic attempt to keep her locked up with him. The more Lily tried to deny it, the more it made sense. While in hiding, why else was she so successful at not being captured? Why else was she spared the same gruesome fate as Mary and Marlene? Why else would Severus want her to stay safe under his watch? Why didn't he look at her when she was brought to his feet for torture? Of course.

"Lily …"

Lily raised the wand at him. With a violent flick and a flash of sparks, the locked bedroom door burst open.

"I love you, Lily … please …"

Lily looked at Severus one last time. For just one moment, Lily couldn't move. Once more, green met black. Both brimming with angry bitter tears. There was no hatred here. Something stirred inside her. Was it possible she felt the same? It was only this morning when Lily discovered she held an inkling of affection towards him. "No." Lily dropped his wand and sprinted out into hallway without another word.


	19. Cold

_**(Disclaimer)**_

Lily sprinted as fast as she could down the corridor, not caring if he followed behind. She didn't know where she was going, but she knew her destination; outside the castle. There had to be some way, some loophole the Death Eaters forgot about. She couldn't stand to be here for another minute. Had she been killed at the wedding and sent to Hell? Nothing else could justify or soothe this outrageous suffering. Lily realized she was running barefoot. It would be a very slight advantage, but not when she broke free into the surrounding forest. Every step caused a horrible, searing pain in her sides and chest. The faster she ran through the castle, the warm sensation of blood sprayed into her mouth with every heavy breath. Lily's first thought was to tell Severus.

At once, that instinct was flushed out. He was the one who inflicted. Lily got chills, combined with rage. How could Severus love her? She couldn't get him out of her mind; the bitter, broken expression on his face with every fresh gash opened. Every kick and hit from the Death Eaters still made her flinch and grit her teeth just by recalling it. The echo of their wicked laughs only made her run faster. Waking up in his bed, his hands under her dress, touching her bare skin and almost at her breasts … And Severus confessed to loving her. Seeing him, full of emotion, made that warmth inside Lily stir … almost.

That monster. Severus had to have known. Why else would he say such a thing to her? Lily didn't keep it hidden that she wanted out of the castle. She remembered opening up to him just moments before he brutally tortured her. Lily cursed herself for being so eager to trust. Severus probably figured out all her weaknesses by now. He was the Death Eater strategist. Nothing he said could be genuine, it was all tricks and mind games. It would only be a matter of time before all the other Death Eaters would know all her weaknesses as well. But Severus said he loved her …

Lily ran faster, desperately trying to outrun her reality rather than look for an escape. She was utterly lost in the castle. She never had much of a chance to explore. Lily decided her best bet would be the kitchens. It wasn't an escape, but somewhere safe to hide for an hour or two until she knew Severus was gone. If she could find the dining or entry hall, she could find her way to the kitchens from there. Lily quickly spotted a small group of servants clustered together in a room They appeared to be dusting and organizing bookshelves. Quickly, Lily ran to them. "Please, you must help me –."

"No!" One of the girls immediately hissed, sporting an unhealthy black eye, and holding a filthy cleaning rag defensively. "No! Not you! You've caused us enough trouble!"

"Damn it, it's Snape's whore again." Another muttered.

"Please! We have to look for a way out of here!" Lily pleaded. "Here, we can finish the cleaning later, let me help you."

The girl with the black eye shoved Lily away. "No! Get away from here before you get more of us killed!"

Lily was taken back. "I'm sorry about Marlene! It wasn't my fault!"

"Marlene, Marlene, all she bloody cares about is Marlene." She muttered while wiping down a dusty grand piano.

"Thank Merlin for dead Marlene."

"Get out of here, red-head."

Lily ignored their comments. "There's a way out … somewhere! We can all get out of here, please listen to me!"

"Listen, you!" Another servant pulled Lily aside. "You need to shut your bloody mouth and get back up to your master in your cushy tower. There is no way out of here! Do you think we all haven't tried? There's nothing you can do!"

"There has to be something!" Lily interrupted. "Maybe not the windows or doors – ."

"There is no way out! Why can't you understand?!" The girl with the back eye snapped. "The only way out is death! None of us plan on dying because Snape's stupid whore can't keep her mouth shut!"

"We can't be seen with you! Does Snape know you're here?"

"Well no, I'm trying to get away from him – ." Lily started.

All the girls exchanged disgusted looks. "A cushy tower too good for you, eh?"

"He's going to skin you alive when he finds out."

"Poor thing." The girl with the black eye spat bitterly. "Too good for regular old mudblood servant's work and too good to be Snape's whore. Want to know something, red-head?" She glared at Lily with eyes full of poison. "I would bloody kill everyone in this room with my bare hands to be a Death Eater's little whore!" Her shattering statement didn't seem to disturb the others in the slightest; some nodded in agreement.

"Listen to yourselves!" Lily tried once more to take a stand. "We're witches! We've got just as much magical blood as those bastards do! They can't treat us like animals! There is a way out of this place, somewhere. There's always a loophole! If we work together, we can all get out of here!" All the girls stopped their work to look at her. Her words reached some, but not enough to incite action. The rest scowled as if she said something incredibly offensive.

"Please, stop." A girl said with a hoarse voice. "You want a way out? Go. Find it. If you make it out alive, then you bloody come back for us. Until then, I've come to terms with my death. We all have. Every poor soul in this godforsaken castle knows they have been brought here to die. And we have accepted it. Why can't you? Why do you insist on causing trouble? You and that Marlene are obsessed with saving our lives and escaping, but how many more of us have to die? When will you see that you're killing us off trying to save us?!"

Lily's stomach dropped. She had hoped with all her being that the other servants planned for an escape like Marlene. There had to be some observation, the most minute detail that one of them noticed about the defenses of this castle. How could hope be given up so easily?

The girl with the black eye wasn't having any of this. She squinted at Lily. "Look at her. She has all her hair, no scrapes and bruises, or broken limbs. The worst thing about her is the dirty hands. No wonder she's so fucking stupid, Snape treats his little whore like a bloody princess."

There was silence. Lily knew it was true, and so did the other servants. She was uncomfortably reminded of his confession, and the immense privilege of being nothing more than a secret roommate to a feared Death Eater. The painful reminder of how easily he could have done whatever he pleased with her; any sadistic, lecherous, and vile desires could have been performed on her. Lily was surrounded by survivors. Every single one of these women survived numerous grisly encounters with the Death Eaters. They've all been tortured, raped, and forced to carry on to cook and clean. They've had every ounce of hope and spirit drained out. These women were no longer proud muggleborn witches. They were all just empty shells to stuff the awaiting unmarked grave.

At the sound of approaching footsteps, the girls went silent and briskly returned to cleaning. They all ignored Lily as if she didn't exist. By the sound of heavy footsteps and obnoxious voices, it could only mean Death Eaters were approaching. Lily spun around to run off, but she was too late. She came face-to-face with two unpleasant visages; both she recognized. Lily was paralyzed with fear.

"Well, well, well." The first one had a ruddy, unshaven face with thick, dark eyebrows. He grinned wickedly, revealing rotting teeth. "Look what we got 'ere!" Lily remembered this one as Wilkes. "Little minx 'ere back from the dead to play!"

The other was a young man who looked impeccably clean and polished, but gaunt. Avery Nott. His dark eyes lit up with an unsettling desire. Lily remembered Severus telling her Nott tried to jump her after the wedding disaster. "Evan Rosier won't know what bloody hit him. All you mudbloods get out of here!" He loudly snarled. The servants quickly picked up their rags and buckets and left. Lily thought she saw a glance of pity from the girl with the black eye. Nott closed the door and faced her with a predatory grin.

"Does Sev know where you are?" Wilkes mocked concern as he shoved her into the empty room. His mocking quickly turned to anger when she didn't answer. "Well?!"

Lily found her voice. "… no …"

Wilkes and Nott chuckled sinisterly. Wilkes grabbed her face and pulled it close to his. "Pity. I bet you taste like 'is bloody cigarettes." He shoved his lips against hers. His sickening tongue tasted of rancid food and alcohol. She tried to pull herself away, but his grip forced her closer. When Wilkes finally let go, Lily stumbled backwards into Nott.

Nott's arms grabbed around her waist from behind and forced her onto his middle. "You remember me, don't you?" His voice turned into a husky whisper. Lily felt one arm lower to her hips and pressing them against his cock, while the other travelled to her breast. It was sickening of how she felt his hard cock twitch through his pants. "I liked you better in lace." He hissed while biting her ear. "I want you in lace and nothing else …."

"Don't hog 'er." Wilkes grunted and pried her from Nott.

Lily tried to detach. She thought only of Marlene's advice. _"Go numb, go numb, go numb. Don't fight back. Don't fight back. Go numb, go numb, dammit!"_ She willed herself not to cry or shout. Dirty hands went crawling down the front of her dress; hot, wet, putrid kisses were planted down her neck and below her collarbone; her hair was stroked and pulled and gripped; her dress was being ripped and torn off her body. _"Go numb, go numb, go numb!"_ It became harder and harder to detach. The pale green dress dropped to the floor. Lily couldn't gather the courage to fight back nor go numb. Every uneven breath, pinch, and touch was felt and almost amplified. The only thing that would mask it all was the sprouting seed of her guilt.

Rough hands cupped her breast and pulled it into an eager mouth. Lily thought of James Potter. She didn't love him, she never did. He was an annoying presence that she became accustomed to, and took advantage of his obsession. _"Because of you, James Potter and his family are dead!"_ Lily thought of Mr. and Mrs. Potter. Both were unsavory characters, but she didn't hate them. They would have all been better off if Lily never used James. She thought about all the wedding guests, and the little girl, Emily. They were all probably dead as well.

A belt was unbuckling. Not a single inch of her body was left untouched by these beasts. A stiff, ready cock was pressed against her back. Lily thought of Marlene. Marlene who would still be alive if only Lily reached to her sooner. If only Lily told Marlene everything, she would still be alive. Lily thought of the other muggleborns. Most were killed on the streets or vanished completely; whereas the young, and pretty ones were dragged to hell. Here, they were killed off as well, but first they were humiliated. Here, proud witches were stripped of their magic, dignity, and will to live. How could Lily be so ignorant of the suffering around her? While she daydreamed, safe and locked away upstairs, these poor muggleborn witches were raped and tortured out of their wits. Lily's wish was for an escape; these servants wished for death. There was no escape, and all she did was turn the others against her.

"Open up, you."

Wilkes was behind her. One hand squeezing her breast and the other tightly holding one of her legs out by the knee. Suddenly, dry, cold fingers forced their way inside her. Lily winced and bit her tongue. " _GO NUMB! GO NUMB!"_ It hurt. She would not scream or shed a single tear. She couldn't let them see weakness. They twisted inside her like snakes; reaching and grabbing. Lily felt sick. They pushed deeper and deeper. The fingers clawing at the flesh, tearing her open from the inside out. Each thrust came back harder and further in. Lily thought of Severus. It was beyond luck that she managed to stay hidden longer than Mary and Marlene. It was obvious now Severus played a larger role in her handling than he let on. How foolish could she have been to trust him? Was she so desperate for an escape, or a shred of humanity that she turned to a Death Eater? The fingers felt like parasitic worms, burrowing further inside her and rigorously searching for blood. " _This might as well be him."_ Lily bitterly thought.

Like these cruel hands digging inside her, Severus violated her. He got into her head, and Lily let him. Too many times she lowered her guard around him. This must be some sick game to him. She made herself too easy to be toyed with. What benefit did he have in breaking her? Revenge? Pride? It was impossible to prove if Severus was genuine or not. Lily gritted her teeth at the memory of him raising his wand to her, then suddenly waking up in his bed, in his arms, touching her. Perhaps if he didn't love her, or seek revenge or a triumph, all that remained was lust. Countless occasions she was hexed unconscious, but Severus always happened to be around. Was he just as lecherous as the other Death Eaters? His clean demeanor could be a mask for darker things.

The fingers were ripped out of her. For a moment, Lily thought there would be some temporary relief; but the fingers were replaced by a hot, slimy tongue, broken lips and teeth. Biting and tasting her, sucking away what remained inside. Lily feared his love. She feared if it was possible she felt something in return. The mere idea was too dangerous. If there was the slightest hint of a breath of it, both Severus and Lily would pay for it with their lives. Severus wasn't foolish; how could he truly love her? He got into her mind, found a weakness, and he was going to hold her in his trap.

Nott hungrily eyed her as he straightened up. His cock was already out. He grabbed her throat and hissed into her ear. "I want you to bloody look at me. Look me in the eyes, mudblood!" She wanted her freedom. Lily opened her eyes, but looked everywhere except Nott's face. If he wanted to fuck her, he would have to do it without her eyes. Lily would not fight back. She had already reviewed her guilt, but nothing could crush her stubbornness. "Bloody slut! I said look at me!"

Wilkes chimed in. "You gotta force 'er down an' over somewhere."

"I want her to fucking look at me!" Nott shouted at his cohort. "I'm not fucking her over a bloody armchair! Look at me, mudblood!" His grip tightened around her neck.

Lily spat in his eye. Once Nott shrieked out and released her, she elbowed Wilkes and wrested out of him. Once she was across the room and out of their reach, she pulled books off the shelves and hurled them at the two Death Eaters. "Does your mum know you fuck mudbloods with that mouth?" Lily smartly remarked as threw another heavy book. Something was odd. Wilkes and Avery weren't pursuing her; they were just looking at each other with bewilderment and dodging the books. It dawned on her. They didn't bring their wands. They didn't know how to fight. "Forgot your wands, boys?" She teased.

Nott attempted to regain control. "How dare you talk to us –." Lily chucked a book at him. It missed Nott, but hit Wilkes in the face with a high-pitched yelp.

"Are you that thick? What kind of wizard doesn't have his wand?!" Lily shouted. "Bloody pathetic is what you all are!"

Wilkes was sporting a broken nose, yelled out. "Forget 'er! She's gone fucking loony!"

Lily's sudden rush of power was quickly extinguished when Nott dodged her books and grabbed her wrists. "You better watch your step, mudblood! If you were mine, I'd bleed you out for that!" Lily tried shaking off his grip, but that only prompted him to hold onto her throat. "Best you start thinking of me whenever Snape fucks you. It's only a matter of time before he'll drop you and I'll be your new master." He licked the side of her face and slammed the door behind him.

Lily was shaken. Wilkes had grabbed her dress to stop his bloody nose. She was all alone in the room, without a stitch on her frame. Only now was she aware of how cold she was. Utterly cold and alone again.


	20. Watery Extermination

_**(Disclaimer)**_

Lily looked at herself in the foggy bathroom mirror. She loathed her reflection. A weak woman with teary eyes and bruises stared back. Guilt. Why was she spared? Of all the other muggleborn witches and wizards that were killed, why was Lily forced to remain alive? Why was she forced to relive her guilt, humiliation, and become a plaything for the Death Eaters? Why couldn't she just be dead like Mary, Marlene, and the Potters? Lily had already lost the game. It was by sadistic fate and judgement that she be forced to keep playing and losing.

The hot water started fogging up the room. Lily craved more than anything to be clean. The bathroom was the only place she knew of where the door locked, and she could be away from the Death Eaters. Even though her hair was still slightly damp from her last bath, Lily felt unclean. Avery Nott never got to shoving his cock inside her, but nonetheless, she was violated. Flashbacks to Nott's dirty, jagged nails inside her, tearing at her flesh and drawing blood …

"Stop it." Lily sharply muttered to herself. If this is what the other girls had to endure daily, she could handle it. She would force herself to. This was her reality. "You're a bloody witch." She glared back at her reflection. "You're not coffin fodder, you're a witch! You've got magic!"

Her own words of encouragement did little to cease her disgust. She couldn't shake the feeling of slimy fingers, or eels, or snakes, twisting their way up her legs and chest. Cold hands below her stomach, around her neck, her breasts. She shivered and tried to flush the thought down. "Just get yourself cleaned up." She mumbled, angry at herself.

Lily sat down in the bathtub and pulled the curtain around. The water was hot enough to burn, but not unpleasantly. It smelled like a flower garden. The soap must have been mixed in with the water coming from the tap. The towers of sparkly, soapy bubbles didn't appeal to her as they did before; instead, the sweetness disgusted her. Right away, with a plain bar of soap, she vigorously scrubbed at her body. Every disgusting trace of those bastards had to be eliminated. Nothing could remain. They were the ones who made her disgusting. The Death Eaters created this guilt and locked her into this hell. If anyone was to blame, it was them. And Severus. He was the one who initially butted in and dragged her here. Lily remained uncertain if Severus really did love her. Half believed he was tricking her, only to torture her again later for his own pleasure. And the other half believed he was being genuine. It would explain the last twelve years of their odd relationship. However, both sides provided a reasonable explanation as to why he saved her and kept her away from the other Death Eaters and servants. But only one side confirmed her fears as to why he raised his wand to her in the hall. Lily kept scrubbing.

She thought about an escape. Obviously, there was a way in and a way out of this castle. The Death Eaters had their own methods, but it was unlikely a muggleborn servant could use the same method without getting caught. Regular windows and doors were out of the question; Severus ensured they were all cursed and her hands were proof of it. There had to be other ways in or out. Lily wondered if the other servants were also unconscious when they were brought here. But the servants wouldn't help her. Maybe they would if she wasn't a personal servant.

Lily was unaware that she stopped scrubbing. If she was to go back to being a regular servant, that would mean she would be exposed to the mistreatment the other girls faced. Lily would have to follow the rules without Marlene to guide her. A number of Death Eaters were already eager to get their hands on her. Neither of them would care to handle her gently. There was also the chance she would be put through more torture, or possibly killed. Was further suffering and risking her life worth saving herself and the other servants? Lily remembered Marlene. Marlene died trying to make sure she was safe. Lily decided if only one of the servants could be saved, it was worth suffering for. Suddenly, Lily froze. The hairs on the back of her neck were standing up. She wasn't alone. The smell of a lone, musky cigarette crept through the steamy, floral air. "What the fuck do you want?" She growled, annoyed.

"Are you alright?" Severus asked in a low voice.

"Am I alright?" Lily rolled her eyes. "Bloody fantastic."

"I … erm … I heard what happened with Nott and Wilkes."

"Yeah?" She gritted her teeth. "I bet you got a kick out of hearing that, you bloody creep."

She heard him let out a frustrated sigh. "No, I did not enjoy it."

"How did you even get in here?" Lily snapped. She was not going to talk to him about what happened until she was certain he wasn't toying with her. "I locked the door."

"I was going to ask you the same question. Wilkes has all your clothes. Good job … on his nose. He deserved it."

"Fuck off. What do you really want?"

Severus cleared his throat. "I brought you a clean set. They're on the stool." Lily didn't say anything. She peeked from the curtain and saw a clean white dress patterned with lavender flowers. It was slightly worn out from repeated washing, but it was still significantly cleaner than the green dress borrowed from Marlene. It was a kind gesture, but she didn't trust him. He wouldn't linger if he was just dropping off a fresh change of clothes. There was something more he was after. The reek of cigarettes didn't mingle well with the overly sweet floral scent of the soaps. She drew her knees close. "You haven't left yet, I see." He said plainly.

"No."

"Alright. When?"

"When?"

"When are you leaving?"

"Not soon enough." Lily grumbled, making herself as small as possible. She needed this time to focus on an escape plan, not have a disturbingly calm conversation.

"So why don't you trust me, Lily?" His sudden question caught her off guard. It wasn't exactly a secret anymore that she didn't trust Severus, but it was nonetheless unsettling how he could see her so transparent. She could hear him lighting a cigarette.

"Why do you care?"

"You already know why." He said bitterly.

"No. I don't fucking know why. You've done nothing but fuck around with my head since you dragged me upstairs." Lily swallowed. "This isn't right. I should have been hunted down and killed off a long time ago. I shouldn't be alive right now!"

"Would you stop saying that already …"

"What is wrong with you?" Lily snapped. "I don't even understand it at all. Why would you claim to love me? I'm not an inbred pureblood bitch! I'm your mudblood slave! You and I both know that this bloody castle is my grave! It's only a matter of time before my corpse is thrown out with the table scraps! Why now? Of any other time you could have chosen, it had to be when I was your prisoner with nothing left to lose? Honestly, how the hell am I supposed to react to that?"

"You're not my prisoner."

"But I am! I am a prisoner of the Death Eaters! Severus, I don't know what sick, twisted fantasy world you live in, but this isn't love! I didn't choose to be hunted down for being a mudblood! I didn't want to be locked up in your bedroom! I didn't even want to see you at all!" Lily felt her face and throat get hot, but she forced herself not to shed a single tear. No more tears. "In case you've forgotten, but we're not friends; we're strangers on two different sides of the war."

"You think I haven't thought of this already?" Severus fidgeted with a cigarette. "If my peers got so much as a whiff of any of this …"

"I would be killed, and you would be on the other end of the wand." Lily muttered. "So your intentions are not purely business, then."

"What? I never …"

"Severus, remind me your position here, exactly. You're a Death Eater strategist, right?"

"Correct."

"From what I've gathered, you're respected by the higher ranking pureblood families. Of all your peers your age; you're the unspoken king. The servants fear you because you're the one who curses the doors and windows. You're the mind behind their entrapment. I've only shared a room with you for mere days and the other servants refuse to speak to me because they know I'm marked as yours! You're a different man, Severus, but I still know your habits. You're not Wilkes or Nott who crudely take what they want on a whim. You don't attack your enemies; you learn about them first. You can wait as long as it takes, but as soon as you have your enemy in their moment of weakness; you only need to attack once and without mercy." Lily took a deep breath. "I know you've been analyzing me. As soon as I woke up in this castle … and probably before … you've been watching me."

"I won't deny it."

"And according to your peers, what is our relationship? I am the slave, and you are the master. I do as you command me to. I do everything from scrubbing your floors to warming your bed. And that would not be beneficial for your peers to see the reality of it, right?"

"What are you getting at?"

Lily couldn't contain herself for a moment longer. "Why would say that you love me, when you know I'm not in any position to protest?!" She immediately regretted what she said. Bringing attention to the fact she was utterly powerless wasn't wise.

After a brief silence, he responded slowly. "What Wilkes and Nott did; do you think I would do that to you?"

"I don't know …"

"Has the thought crossed your mind?"

There was something about his tone that wasn't easing her fears. Lily found herself searching for her voice. "Yes. A lot."

"Do you think I would curse or hex you?"

"You did it before."

"Do you think I would do it again?"

"Yes."

"Do you think I would kill you?"

"Yes."

"Do you think I failed to protect you?"

"Yes."

"Do you have any … even just a shred of faith in me?"

"I don't think …. No." Her voice was barely above whisper.

"And for as long as we have known each other, years of friendship, secrets; you have never once felt anything in return?"

Lily didn't immediately respond. It was only at the point of no return did she realize Severus wasn't playing with her. There were no foul motives from the beginning. He had failed to protect her on numerous occasions, but he did the best he could. He was risking his life by keeping her in his bedroom as a roommate rather than a servant. But things were different. In this castle full of bloodshed and anguish, there was no love. Love was a luxury for those who could afford freedom. Those brief moments of connection and full understanding; Lily knew there was something felt. But it would have to be eliminated. "Severus," Lily started quietly. "I don't know what … this, any of this means. But, this … isn't love."

"Then what is this?"

"Nothing." There was a period of silence. Lily could feel it. There was so much that needed to be said, explained, and corrected. Despite all her efforts to keep from crying, silent tears flooded from her eyes and she started trembling. Of all the obstacles she anticipated to escape the castle, forcing herself to exterminate any affectionate feelings towards him was not one of them. She didn't trust or respect him, but Severus was the final ally. If she didn't have his partnership, she didn't have much of anything in this castle. Lily bit her tongue to keep quiet. She tried listening to hear his response, but there was only silence. There was one last waft of cigarette "I'll leave!" She cried out, grabbing the curtains and whatever she could to cover herself. Water splashed around the tub, echoed by the cold bathroom. "I'll get out of here and I won't come back!"

"Do as you will."

By the time she stumbled out of the tub wearing nothing but a towel, Lily found she was alone in the bathroom. All that remained was a single, half-burnt cigarette butt that was still smoking,


	21. One Week Later

_**(Disclaimer)**_

"Red-head, Selwyn needs his pants washed now! He said that if he doesn't have them folded in his drawer by dinner, he'll break your neck." A wicker basket landed next to Lily. It was the servant with the black eye. Lily eventually learned her name was Jenny. Her eye wasn't as discolored anymore, but still swollen and shiny. The two did not get along. Jenny didn't leave. Instead, she looked Lily over with envious eyes. "So what did you do? Bite his cock?"

Lily stirred the dirty clothes in the enormous cauldron with a wooden paddle. The water was clear and boiling hot just moments ago. After adding all the Death Eater's garments, the water quickly turned a foggy-rust color from the dirt and blood. She gripped the paddle and willed herself not to lose her temper and beat Jenny senseless with it. A few days have passed since Lily left the bathroom alone. She regretted threatening Severus that she would leave; but it was too late at this point. It would be foolish to go running back; she would have to follow through. She only blurted out in desperation to get a response from him, but she didn't get one. _"Do as you will."_

"I bet you bit his cock." Jenny sneered.

Lily went back to being a regular servant. More or less, a week has already passed since she returned. She did the laundry. It was better than working in the kitchens or in the main parts of the castle. There was always a pile of filthy clothes from the Death Eaters, or expensive garments from their wives that required specific care. Her work was almost never done, as there was always something to be worked on. It was the perfect chore to avoid the Death Eaters and other servants. As long as she did her job correctly, she was completely invisible. Lily considered herself lucky the position just opened. The previous laundry maid was found floating in the washing cauldron face-down. It wasn't clear if she was killed by a Death Eater or if it was a suicide. _"Do as you will."_ "I didn't bite his cock." Lily answered flatly as she dumped Selwyn's dirty pants in the cauldron.

"So what did you do?"

"He said he didn't want me anymore." She repeated. She had given this answer to the other servants countless times before, it became automatic.

"No no. They don't just send us away when they're done with us. If Snape was done with you, he would have just killed you." Her empty eyes glittered. "You must have really fucked up if he left you alive. What happened? What did you do?"

"I didn't … clean right. I didn't clean the way he wanted to." Lily came up with a lie. "So he threw me down here to learn how to do it right."

Jenny snorted in disbelief. "You bit his fucking cock, red-head." On her way back up to the kitchens, she purposefully kicked over an opened sack of beans resting on the rickety stairs into the cauldron. "Sorry."

"You cunt!" Lily shouted at her. Quickly, she grabbed a net she fashioned from a broom handle and cheesecloth and fished out as many beans as could. She could already picture some angry Death Eater finding mashed, half-cooked beans smeared on his robes. Her net was falling apart from the weight of the beans. "Dammit!" Lily grumbled. She did not want to end up like the previous laundry maid; her only option was to drain the cauldron and start over. She pulled the rope connected to the drain plug and with the wooden paddle, she scooped out the sopping-wet clothes and hung them to dry in front of the furnace.

While working, Lily bitterly pondered her next step. She already had a general idea for an escape plan. The draining pipe connected to the washing cauldron was wide enough for a small child to crawl through. Lily wondered that if she ever had a moment of down time, if she could drain the cauldron completely and see where the pipes ended up. Perhaps the pipe was only narrow at the drain, and maybe it got wider further down.

Once the cauldron was finally empty. Lily peered over the top and saw the bottom was littered with beans. She groaned and took off her shoes. She would have to climb into the cauldron and pluck all the beans out by hand. Suddenly, she paused. _"What if I shove them all down the drain? They'll turn into a bloody clumpy mess and clog the pipes. But that won't be until hours later!_ " Quickly, and eagerly, Lily grabbed the empty burlap sack and dumped out whatever beans were left into the cauldron. With a mop and running water, she was able to scrape the beans from the bottom of the cauldron and into the drain.

This was one of those moments Lily was proud to be part muggle. Thanks to her muggle upbringing and a creative streak, she was able to do the laundry somewhat easier. Before, the plug at the bottom of the cauldron would have to be pulled out by hand. A servant would have to wade in the scalding hot water and quickly fumble around for the ring. Lily simply tied a rope to the plug and wrapped it around a rafter above until the other end was in her reach. No more having to climb inside the cauldron. The net was also of her invention. Cheesecloth, a wire hanger, and a broken broom handle were converted into a nifty tool to scoop out anything that didn't belong in the wash. Through this, Lily managed to achieve a coffee tin full of money due to the amount of coins left in Death Eater's pockets. She was careful to hide the tin until she made her escape.

Faintly above, Lily could hear raised voices and smashing glass. It was dinner and most likely a few Death Eaters got too drunk and started a fight. Nothing unusual. Just as she expected, a house elf came hobbling down the stairs. "You!" It barked in a raspy, high voice. "Go fetch the tablecloth at once before it stains!"

"Yes, sir." Lily automatically put her shoes back on.

"Hurry it up!" The house elf continued to shriek at her. "Go!"

"Yes, sir. Coming." She grabbed a wicker basket and jogged up the rickety stairs. Through the maze of pots and pans, smoke and steam, and bustling servants, Lily went through the kitchens and made her way to the dining room.

She had only been in the dining room once or twice before. Smooth, stone floors covered by a single, long carpet. A long, overly polished wooden table down the center. Candelabras and flowery centerpieces. There were still some plates of half eaten food on the table. Much to her displeasure, some Death Eaters were still lingering in the dining room. Lily could see a fresh, burgundy stain on the white tablecloth. She busied herself removing the centerpieces and dirty dishes so she could take the tablecloth. While she worked, she eavesdropped on the Death Eaters.

"- give it a rest already! You'll earn your place back in due time, Rabastan. Whinging about it like a child will get you nowhere! Mother always said you were fussy as a little shit."

"I have every right to speak my mind, Rhodolphus! I've been an outstanding member just as long as you have! You only have favor because of Bella!"

The two men were dressed very sharply. Both were rather handsome, but sinister. Lily knew they were the Lestrange brothers. One proudly adjusted his cufflinks and haughtily raised his head. "Of course it's because of my Bella. She has never failed the Dark Lord. She earned his favor, whilst I tirelessly support her efforts."

The other snorted. "She does triple the work of any man here. You should be sitting with Cissy and the rest of the women; talking about jewelry and children."

"Shut it!"

The brothers stopped bickering. They looked at Lily as she passed through narrowed eyes. She tried her best to ignore them. Rhodolphus was married to Bellatrix. She learned the marriage was strictly arranged between the families for monetary gain. The couple acted more like business partners than an actual married couple in love. Nonetheless, Lily shuddered at what Bellatrix would do if her husband went chasing after a servant girl. Rabastan was supposedly betrothed or engaged to some young pureblood girl who didn't live in the castle. Lily didn't want to be caught alone with either of them. She moved along the table, clearing off plates and blowing out candles. She was careful of where she stepped; some broken glass speckled the carpet below.

Her stomach dropped as she got through half of the table. Lucius, Wilkes, Nott, and Severus were in the middle of a heated argument. Severus was holding a handkerchief to a bloody hand looking livid.

"I don't give a damn who started this bloody feud!" Lucius said like an angry father to disobedient children. "Severus, I'm surprised at you! That glass was part of a set. An irreplaceable wedding gift!"

"She 'as you by the balls, mate." Wilkes muttered. Nott nodded furiously, clutching a napkin to his cheek. Lily felt a small pang of pride when she saw Wilkes' swollen face and crooked nose. Hopefully a broken nose was enough to keep him away from her.

"Enough of this!" Lucius spat. "Narcissa and I have graciously opened our holiday home to you! This estate is a temporary headquarters! Not your old dormitory! What are you; schoolchildren? From this point forward, you shall treat this place with respect. Severus, control your bloody temper!" Lucius coldly dismissed them.

For a brief moment, she made eye contact with Severus. He bitterly shoved past her without saying a word. Lily wasn't expecting him to; not in front of other Death Eaters. Initially, she felt concerned over his hand. Why the blood? Lily flushed the notion out of her thoughts. Besides, she just found out a major clue. This castle was the Malfoy's holiday home. Of course. Leave it to an extremely wealthy pureblood family to decide on a large castle for a holiday home. If this was only a holiday place, she couldn't help but imagine how large and elegant their actual home was.

Nott and Wilkes lingered a bit longer to look at Lily. She looked back at them, unafraid. When none of the other Death Eaters or servants were watching, Lily snatched a dirty plate and pretended to hurl it at them. Nott only flinched, but Wilkes ducked and let out an odd yelp.

"What are you doing?" Rhodolphus sneered. The remaining Death Eaters looked at him and snickered at Wilkes. Wilkes gaped and soundlessly pointed at Lily, who was innocently clearing off the table. "Bloody fool …" Rhodolphus returned to his conversation with his brother. Wilkes stood up immediately and adjusted himself before storming out of the dining room, closely behind a furious Nott. They both glared at her as they left. Lily felt a victorious smile creep onto her face.

The smile faded when she saw another Death Eater staring at her from the end of the table. She believed this one was Evan Rosier. A rugged, but still tidy appearance. Chiseled features and brown-auburn hair. She didn't care at all for the way he looked at her. His arms were folded on top of the last of the tablecloth. "So you're the fiery minx everyone's … excited about." Rosier said playfully. He cocked his head. "You cause a lot of trouble; you know?"

Lily only briskly nodded. "Mhm." Severus warned her that Rosier was after her, just like Nott.

"Yeah. You would make a stunning pureblood." He was eyeing her intently. "Suitors would be lined up past the gates just to hear you speak their name. Imagine being showered with gifts and tokens and trinkets; suitors pleading for your hand. You wouldn't ever have to work a day in your life if you pick the right suitor."

"Pity, isn't it?" She remarked.

"And a snarky personality. I think your line of suitors may have gotten smaller." Rosier played with a strand of her hair. Lily could do nothing but stand and listen to him. "But yes; indeed, it is a pity. I have an inkling about who would be first in line."

"Is that so?" Lily did her best to remain neutral. If she appeared too polite; that would put her at risk for being taken upstairs. If she was too rude or cold; that would earn her punishment.

"Someone who has a seat at this table. But I have a proposition to make first." He twisted her curls between his fingers. "Do you know what it means to be a breeder?"

Lily froze. She curtly nodded. Marlene told her all about breeders when she was still alive, as she was one. Breeders were purebloods, but strongly disliked blood-traitors that were still enslaved with the muggleborns. When the Death Eaters saw it fit, the blood-traitor would be assigned to a pureblood Death Eater and she would be forced to carry his children. The Death Eaters would determine how many children the breeder would produce. Usually, the more children the better. More children meant restoring the pureblood status. If the breeder had enough children and conformed to the Death Eater lifestyle, she would be treated as an equal. The sin of being a blood-traitor would be washed away and forgiven. There was a rumor circulating in the kitchens that Rosaline, Mulciber's wife, was a breeder, but no one knew for certain. Lily didn't know of any other breeders.

"Smart girl." Rosier lowered his voice. "This is where things get intricate, and many of my colleagues would disagree …" His hand traveled to her face. "You've got magic, don't you?" Lily nodded once more. He continued. "Compared to the rest of the mudbloods, you know you stand out quite a bit. You're better than them." There was something deeply sexual about the way Rosier stroked her face. "How would you like to become a breeder?"

Lily jerked away from him. The idea of being forced to copulate and birth children to some foul Death Eater revolted her. "Absolutely not!" She hissed; neutrality forgotten.

Rosier maintained his lazy demeanor. "Now, I know what you're thinking. You're still a mudblood, but imagine the beautiful children you could have." He reached out to her again. "We could have …"

Lily yanked the last of the tablecloth off the table and scurried as fast as she could back to the wash cellar. She had forgotten her basket in the dining room, but she didn't care. The further away she was from that creep, the better. It was too disgusting to wrap her head around; pumping out children like some sort of livestock animal, pretending to be a Death Eater's sweetheart. That would be a further betrayal to the other muggleborns. Something inside Lily twisted uncomfortably in her stomach. This situation was all too familiar.


	22. The Proposition

_**(Disclaimer)**_

"Thank you all for coming to this … private little meeting." Evan Rosier slowly sat down in a stiff armchair; a glass of dark red wine in one hand. Around him, several other Death Eaters, in robes, sitting in similar armchairs in a circle. "As agreed, what is discussed between these four walls, must remain here. Absolutely nobody else is know this meeting ever took place. Is that understood?" Hooded figures nodded. Rosier continued. "So it seems the … more established members of our group have been expressing … disappointment. The Malfoys, the Lestranges, the Selwyns, the Yaxleys, all of 'em."

"Disappointment?" Mulciber snorted. "Over what?"

"Unfortunately, they do not believe we're … capable members. They've made snide comments about every single person sitting in this room! They do not have a shred of faith in their younger colleagues. According to a conversation I overheard between Selwyn and Malfoy, we are taking our duties for granted! We don't take our positions with pride or grace! Can you believe this rubbish?" Rosier shook his head in disdain. "It's a damn shame. They are not much older or wiser than us, yet they act as if they're so high above us. I don't know about you, men, but we do not take our duties for granted."

"We bloody don't!" Crabbe grunted. "We follow orders! We do the raids!"

"Yeah!" Wilkes chipped in. "They couldn't do shit if it wasn't for us! Strength in numbers!"

"Exactly." Rosier said. "Now, what if I told you Lucius is considering switching back to house elves permanently. He wants to be rid of the mudblood girls!" The Death Eaters shouted and argued indignantly.

"What the fucking hell?!"

"It's only 'cos he can't fuck any of 'em with that bitch, Cissy."

"Like hell he is!"

"We can't fuck bloody house elves!"

Rosier patiently waited for the noise to die down. "I do not think it would be in our best interest to get rid of them completely; however, I can't help but agree with him. The mudbloods cause nothing but trouble. Stolen jewelry, improper cooking and cleaning, they squabble and fight with each other, and now they're causing feuds! Fucking mudbloods! We aren't bringing in enough of the bitches either. We're disposing of them faster than we can bring them in! The raids are turning out less and less of 'em! Remember the raid on Potter Manor? We deliberately waited until the wedding because of all the supposed mudbloods and blood-traitors on the guest list! What did we bring back? Of hundreds of the fucking bleeders; we only got one fucking mudblood! One!" Rosier pounded his fist on the armrest.

"Mind you, that one was difficult to find." One muttered. "Over a year looking for her, I think."

"Bullshit!" Nott snapped. "We all saw Snape! He flew off the fucking handle! A bloody hypocrite, he is. Right before the raid, remember how much he stressed about rounding up mudbloods alive? Keeping the numbers up, he says. The moment we get to the place, he made Bellatrix look like a bloody fucking saint! We would have had more servants if that bastard didn't wipe them all out!"

"Speaking of Snape, why isn't he here?"

"It wouldn't be … convenient if he were to join us tonight." Rosier sipped his wine and turned to face Mulciber. His eyes glittered. "It happened again, didn't it?"

Mulciber narrowed his eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"We aren't daft. The whole bloody castle knows; it's not really a secret." Rosier rolled his eyes. "Which one was it this time?"

"Not the blonde, I hope." Nott muttered. "Or the red one."

"Dark hair, tan skin, blue dress. Black eye. That one." Mulciber grumbled. The Death Eaters had mixed reactions. Some of relief, others of frustration.

"Damn idiot! You can get every fucking mudblood in the castle knocked up, but not your own poor wife! You're part of the reason why Lucius is done with the servants. Every time you get one pregnant, you make it a bloody fucking mess! Narcissa is shrieking at us about the walls and the carpets!"

"The mudbloods clean it up, not her!"

"This is all Miss Cissy's fault!" A Death Eater roared. "Ever since that breeder took her necklace, she's been wanting to destroy the lot! She has Lucius whipped!"

"Yes!" Mulciber, eager for a scapegoat, added in. "It's Cissy's fault! My Rosaline refuses me; she says it's because of that snob!" He mocked a high-pitched voice, "Narcissa hasn't gotten pregnant yet, darling. It would be improper to have a baby before her!"

"Someone should rough her up! Put 'er in 'er place!" Wilkes spilled wine on the floor.

"Now, now." Rosier rolled his eyes. "Remember who we are! Remember who they are! They are our superiors because they have pleased the Dark Lord. Each of them has made a significant contribution to our noble cause. They've been members for longer, and therefore have a higher rank. The Malfoys have been members since the very beginning! For decades, they have generously funded. Lucius has made the most generous donation yet! His own holiday home as a headquarters. He allows us to live here and eat at his table as if we were his own family." Some Death Eaters looked down at floor, slightly ashamed. "Despite their unpleasant attitude, the Malfoys are our superiors, and this is their property. The least we can do is respect their rules …" He added flatly, "no matter how pretentious."

"And what about Lestrange? What great contribution has he made?"

"Rhodolphus is … interesting, nonetheless." Rosier reflected, swirling his wine in the glass thoughtfully. "The Lestrange family have been long time sympathizers. I believe Rhodolphus and Rabastan would be the first in the Lestrange family tree to enlist officially. The arranged marriage between Bellatrix Black and Rhodolphus was extremely beneficial. As soon as Bella came of age, she has proven herself an irreplaceable asset. There isn't a doubt in this room that indeed, Bellatrix is a better witch than all of us combined. And yet, she still has infinite potential." Rosier spoke with an air of undisclosed knowledge. Almost too prideful, as his peers were becoming impatient.

"What are you getting at, Evan?"

Evan Rosier cleared his throat; ready for his defining moment. "Gents, I have a proposition that will change the very … nature of our cause." The Death Eaters stared at him blankly. Slightly annoyed his initial announcement didn't get the reaction he had in mind, he continued in a flustered tone. "Just last week, we disposed of our last breeder. McKinnon. It didn't help that our last raid didn't turn up any more blood-traitor women. However, it did produce a certain mudblood; the ginger slut. As of today, we don't have a single breeder, but a plethora of young, pretty mudbloods."

A few Death Eaters were smart enough to connect what Rosier was implying. "My God, Evan! What the bloody hell is wrong with you?"

"What's he talking about?" Goyle grunted. "What's going on?"

"He's proposing we start breeding with the mudbloods!"

"WHAT?!"

The room was filled with all sorts of indignant and disgusted outbursts. Goyle went sickly pale while his close friend, Crabbe, only gapped blankly at Rosier. Nott raised his eyebrows. Wilkes started fidgeting; clenching and unclenching his fists and touching his broken nose. Some set down their glasses looking nauseous. Several others shook their heads and stood up to leave.

"Wait!" Rosier desperately shouted. Hear me out! I'm not finished!"

"I think I've heard enough of your shit for one night."

"You've got it twisted, mate. You just fuck 'em!"

"You're fucking mad!"

Within seconds, most of the Death Eaters left the room, leaving behind and empty circle of armchairs. Evan Rosier bitterly gripped a bottle of wine and started drinking heavily. Furious his idea didn't receive the praise he deserved. He was so certain he picked his audience carefully. All of them were young, obnoxious, pathetically stupid, and their brains and futures dim. They would be lucky to marry their own cousins. Breeding mudbloods would have been revolutionary! Without a doubt it would have instantly earned him a seat with his superiors. Rosier could see his fantasy slipping away from him; sitting with the Lestranges and the Yaxleys, discussing strategy, money management, and blood history. He would have made such an incredible contribution, perhaps he would earn a betrothment to Andromeda Black. Drowning in self-pity and merlot, Rosier almost missed that a few Death Eaters remained in the room. Nott, Wilkes, and Mulciber stood in front of him with wide, eager eyes. "We want to hear more."

"Fuck off."

"We want to fuck more mudbloods."

Evan stared at them blankly for a moment, then collected himself. "Erm … well …. Here's what I've learned; do you ever notice that all the wealthy purebloods have touchy rules for getting married and having children? There's protocol … a cycle of traditions if you will. Two pureblood families, that's how it starts out. Two pureblood families that are on friendly terms; be it through business, history, causes, and so on. Once the patriarchs decide the families should merge to one tree, they arrange a marriage. The arrangement can be held off for a generation or two, but usually the contestants for the marriage are betrothed from a young age. As the children grow up, they are expected to play with each other and become close friends and courtship is encouraged during schooling; that is the more modern way. For the pure, strict traditionalists; it is of no matter if the children grow to like each other or not. They'll have to marry regardless. Sometimes they don't even meet until the wedding day. This has been going on for hundreds and hundreds of years.

"A fine tradition if you ask me." Wilkes added. "It guarantees a future generation without fuss and waiting."

"Be that as it may, but think of this; what defines a pureblood status?" Rosier asked.

"Two magic parents." Mulciber stated. "But both parents must be pureblood."

"And what defines their pureblood status?"

"Purebloods."

"Possibly, but how deep must we search our family trees? They can't all be pureblood. If all purebloods only mated with other purebloods, we would have all died out thousands of years ago because of the inbreeding." The three Death Eaters slowly nodded, catching on. "As of now, our pureblood family trees are becoming tangled; the lines are blurred. Take Rabastan Lestrange; he's betrothed to a niece or daughter of Yaxley's, correct? Yaxley's wife is a cousin of Lucius Malfoy; he's married to Narcissa, the sister-in-law of Rabastan."

"Astrid, I believe her name was." Nott scratched his chin. "I think she's his youngest daughter. Not very pretty that one. Something wrong with her teeth and feet. Always limping …" He shuddered.

"Yes!" Rosier pointed out. "Our tree has become so tangled, the fruits are rotting! Ugly daughters! Ugly sons! Generations of them!"

"How exactly are mudbloods going to help?" Mulciber scowled.

"If you breed a mudblood and a muggle, what happens? Either a squib or a second generation mudblood. Now, if you breed a mudblood to a pureblood, half-blood, or another mudblood; you have a half-blood." Rosier explained. "Take that half-blood offspring and breed to another half-blood or to a pureblood, what happens? You see, per tradition, a witch or wizard can only be considered a pureblood if all grandparents and all following relatives are magic."

Mulciber shook his head. "Mudbloods aren't magic."

"Perhaps not, but they are capable of producing magic offspring! I have a theory that mudbloods may not be of direct magical prowess, but they have a gift to birth magical children if bred with stronger magical blood. Mudbloods aren't witches or wizards, but there is some magical element to them that could be the key to preserving our kind!" Rosier's eyes sparkled with grandeur. "What's more important? Keeping the tree in same garden, or spreading the roots and planting new seeds?"

Nott, Wilkes, and Mulciber were silent. They looked at each other with mixed expressions. Awe, confusion, and solemn nods. It was impossible to disagree with Rosier when he had such a profound point. Nott broke the silence first. "I'm not wasting my seed on some mudblood slut."

Rosier leaped up. "Avery, I'm not saying just any mudbloods. Mudbloods are common as cockroaches. Only certain mudbloods will be bred! The best ones! The prettiest, the handsomest, the smartest, the strongest! The ones that are capable enough to handle it!" Rosier gripped Nott's shoulders, brimming with hysterical excitement. "Think of the mudblood with the red hair. She's a looker isn't she? Gorgeous, witty, and look at what she did to this bastard's nose. As strong as an ox! You could get at least eight or nine kids out of her. She's the perfect candidate! Imagine generations of beautiful, strong, and intelligent daughters, Avery! Your family would be swimming in dowry! You would be wealthier than the Lestranges and the Malfoys combined!"

Nott was in a daze, a grin slowly twisted onto his face the more he thought about it. Wilkes looked wonderstruck. "Are you gonna tell Lucius?"

"When the time is ripe. And once I do, we won't be looked down upon anymore."

Mulciber wasn't as pleased as the others. "I don't understand it, Evan. Lucius isn't going to want to hear this from us. Now, if this came from Rhodolphus or Severus that would be different. He sits with them during dinner and they chat. Lucius tolerates us, but what makes you think this will get his attention? He's going to bloody laugh at you."

"Do you think we can have Severus tell Lucius?" Wilkes asked.

Nott was pulled out of his daydream and spat into his empty glass. "And let that sly, greasy bastard hog all the credit? Over my dead body! I can't fucking stand him anymore. He's been moody and unbearable since the raid on Potter Manor. And this!" He pointed to a sickly-looking gash on his cheek. "Look at this! I was making polite conversation, crack a joke, and he bloody loses it and smashes a fucking glass on my face!" He winced as he tenderly touched the wound. "I'm certain there's still glass in there."

"You should be happy that happened, Avery." Rosier grinned. "Since that little incident, the Malfoys aren't as pleased with Severus and his short temper lately."

"It was a single broken glass; he didn't burn down an entire wing of the castle." Mulciber rolled his eyes. "A bloody glass isn't going to make Severus lose his seat."

"A wine glass won't, but this will." Rosier pulled out a dusty book from underneath his chair. The pages were dog-eared and torn, the black leather binding was starting to crumble and fade. On the spine, in faded silver ink, " _In Mollis et de Semine Regio Prince."_ Branded on top, was an indiscernible crest. The others looked at the book with mild disgust. "This is the … incomplete record of the Prince family line. You'll never believe where I found this. I've been doing a little light reading and found something that will be of great benefit to us. Avery, your great-grandfather Cantankerous mapped out all the pureblood family trees and histories, didn't he? Do you recall him saying anything about the Prince family?"

Nott scowled and scratched his chin. "I don't remember much of what he mentioned. I think ages ago they used to be in the higher-ups with the Lestranges, the Malfoys, and the Blacks. They were one of those strict traditionalist families, arranged marriages and all. Very particular about who they married off their children to. Not a nice family."

"And?"

"I think my grandad said something about an arranged marriage gone bad …" Nott paused. "That or they were all sent to Azkaban for practicing blood magic on muggle children. I think they're all dead or vanished anyways. That's an ancient family."

Rosier delicately opened the book. "This book is all we need to get Lucius to listen to us."


	23. Black Cellar

_**(Disclaimer)**_

It had to be past midnight. The air was still. For another night, Lily was suspended in the frigid darkness of the cellar. In the daytime, she would ache and sweat in front of the sweltering furnace. At night, however, once there was not a napkin left to be washed, the furnace would go out. Lily only had the dying coals for light and heat for an hour, but once the coals were suffocated by the cold air, the cellar became the void. With no magical fire to warm her, the cellar was miserably freezing at night. She slept next to the furnace to absorb whatever remaining warmth it exuded before falling asleep; the heat would disappear faster every night leaving Lily wide awake and shivering. She attempted to sew together empty burlap sacks into a makeshift blanket. It fell apart after its first ten minutes of use. Instead, she just buried herself under whatever empty sacks she found.

Tonight, Lily couldn't fall asleep. She was going to stay up all night and listen to the drains. If her bean-mush was going to clog the pipes, it was going to be either tonight or the next morning. A lost night of sleep would potentially cause errors in her work the next day, but for a diagnosis of her chances of escape; Lily was ready to risk everything. Freedom seemed so far away, yet closer than ever before. What would it be like to be back in the world outside of this hellish castle? What would she do? Where would she go? Lily considered changing her appearance and fleeing to start a simple farm life in Australia. Perhaps she could steal a wand or two before her escape. Would they be able to track her if she stole a wand? What would they do to her if they found her again? Lily flushed her anxieties out of her mind. She wouldn't get anywhere productive if she focused on the possible hang ups.

Someone burst into the cellar and loudly tumbled down the stairs. Someone with light. They clattered to the ground with what sounded like a painful crack. The light rolled away. Illuminating the cobblestones. Quickly, Lily got out from her pile of burlap and silently moved away from the furnace. Until she knew if the intruder was either a servant or a Death Eater, the farther away she was from the light, the better off she would be.

"Clumsy, clumsy me!" The intruder shattered a jar. It was a woman.

"Who is it?" Lily emerged to confront them. If it was a servant, they wasn't familiar with the layout of the cellar. "Show yourself!" The source of light was a wand. A wand. Her initial instinct to pick it up was forced out of her mind. Touching the wand of a Death Eater or the wife of one would earn her a quick death. It was too late to hide in the black void; Lily had already made herself known.

A stocky young woman in a mauve nightgown came to her feet. Her clean face and tightly curled hair marked her as a Death Eater's wife. As she limped closer and picked up her wand, she masked her obvious pain with a smile. "Sorry about the noise, love."

Lily froze. "What?"

"Did I wake you?" The woman asked. "You look like you haven't slept in ages."

The wives were not well known for their kindness to servants, let alone other women. Yet this woman before her looked at her with genuine concern. "Who are you?"

The woman gently smiled. "You've probably heard of me. Does Rosaline sound familiar?"

"You're Mulciber's wife?"

Rosaline twitched at the word, but didn't change her tone or face. "Would you happen to have a spare coat hanger around here, darling?"

Lily went blank. This was almost too much to process. "A coat hanger?"

"Yes. You are the one who does laundry, right?"

"Erm … yes." Lily didn't know why this woman would possibly need a coat hanger at this hour. No matter what, Mulciber's wife had to be pleased or else he would hear about it. "I don't think I have any more coat hangers. All the folding and sorting has been done before bed. There might be one hanging in your wardrobe, perhaps?"

Rosaline giggled. "He took 'em all out. I think he's on to me."

Lily was beyond baffled, but didn't show it. "Would you prefer I deliver your clothes folded?"

"Oh no, please don't do that!" The woman looked panicked. "Then he'll know we talked! He can't know about any of this!"

"Alright! Alright! Is there anything I can do for you while you're down here?"

Rosaline looked around. "I suppose it doesn't have to be a coat hanger. Something long and thin perhaps? Like a wooden spoon or similar?"

"You would have better luck finding something like that in the kitchens. Is this urgent?"

"Oh! This will do just lovely!" Rosaline limped over to the barrel of lye soap. She took a big scoop with the copper ladle and swallowed it down. Lily stood in silence. She convinced herself this had to be some ridiculous dream. Rosaline limped back up the stairs with some difficulty, Lily watched her. "You should borrow another one from the kitchens for the time being, love; this one won't be returned. Oh! And before I forget, could you send someone upstairs in the morning? Our toilet's clogged with some poor soul's supper. I believe it's my husband, but he denies it. Beans always disturb his digestion."

Lily could only nod and say, "I'll send someone up right away in the morning."

Rosaline smiled. "Thank you very much, love. Now I see why Severus was so proud to have you while he did. Remember, not a word to my husband …" Her gentle whisper suddenly changed to a deep growl. "Or else." She let out one more airy giggle, and wiggled her fingers goodbye. The cellar was plunged into darkness once more.

Clearly, the pipes weren't the way out, unless Lily wanted to end up in Mulciber's toilet. It only proved to her that she would have to find another way out of the castle; and that this awkward exchange wasn't a dream. Rosaline was certainly odd, not at all like the other wives. There were rumors circulating that she was actually a muggleborn. That would explain her uncharacteristically kind behavior towards her, or she spent too much time socializing with the other wives. But that sudden threat at the end …

The whole castle was well aware of Mulciber's unfortunate habit of getting servants pregnant while his wife couldn't produce a single heir. All the wives chattered Rosaline was some sickly delicate flower that couldn't handle a pregnancy. That excused Mulciber's sadistic behavior and her infertility. Lily wandered through the black cellar until she found her nest by the furnace. This all reminded her of Evan Rosier and his horrifying proposal.

If Rosaline was the result of what a muggleborn witch would turn into after marrying a Death Eater, it was a grim future. Warming a bed, socializing with the wives over weak tea and unappetizing food, being pregnant all the bloody time. They would all know damn well she's a muggleborn. After all the torment they dragged her through, it would suddenly change overnight because she married a Death Eater. Something shifted inside of her. If she replaced her vision of her unknown Death Eater husband to James Potter, the future didn't waver. Had Lily went through with marrying Potter, she would still have to share a bed with him, play nice with his mother and the rest of his family, as well as have his children. She wouldn't dare speak up unless she wanted to land herself in serious trouble.

If she was picked to breed, it would guarantee her safety, a comfortable home, and a plate of hot food. There was also the chance they wouldn't choose her. Lily had already accidentally proven herself to be a troublemaker. If she wasn't chosen, most likely she would still be a servant and killed off later. Both promised Lily she would spend the rest of her life in slavery; either in a gilded cage, or a dark, damp cellar.

Lily closed her eyes, craving an escape from this madness. She dreamed of a cramped, dingy bedroom, parchment and dirty clothes scattered on a floor, a single window overlooking a foggy forest, and a haze of stale cigarette smoke.


	24. Order of Seating

_**(Disclaimer)**_

Another night, another meeting. The Death Eaters were not well known for their high morals; but one couldn't help but admire their strict unspoken order. Everybody had their proper place and their seating reflected it. At the very bottom, the new, young Death Eaters. These were young men and boys who were currently in school or just completed it. Some had their dark mark; some had yet to earn it. They had yet to prove themselves, so they had not earned their seat at the table. Their only roles were to listen, not speak, and follow directions, not contribute to them. They tended to act extremely seriously, as any move that displeased their superiors could compromise a seat. Next, the average Death Eaters. The newer they were, the farther to the back they would be seated. Their performance would determine if they would remain at the end of the table, or sit closer to the elites. Being stuck at the end of the table was complex. It was encouraged to be bold and assert your value to the cause; while simultaneously being pushed down and silenced by the higher ranks. It wasn't uncommon for one to be treated more favorably than the others. The more you were favored, the closer you were placed to the elites.

After them, sitting near the head of the table, were the powerful Death Eaters; the superiors. Age and experience dominated here. The mature, sophisticated members refused to have their spot moved towards the back or closer to the head, as they feel satisfied with their seat and moving would be a sign of great disrespect. Most of the Death Eaters on this side of the table were born into their position; purebloods with Death Eater lineage that have had their standing for decades. Also, Death Eaters who have made priceless donations and contributions to the cause. No matter who was seated at the table or standing in the room, gold was not taken lightly. To the wealthier Death Eaters, money was disposable. If one gave a generous donation, they could just find their seat moved closer to the head and a fatter reward. If one wasn't born from extreme wealth, it would be wise to prove your worth or else remain at the back.

Who sat at the head was undisputable. The Dark Lord himself when matters were dire and speaking to his men directly was crucial. The rest of the time, the master of the house sat at the head and was expected to conduct business.

"The Ministry has increased security. I believe this is only temporary as our accident with the Imperious curse _will not_ happen again." Lucius glared at a Death Eater. "That being said, access to records and registries will be limited for the time being. Our inside sources warn us that the Ministry is preparing to investigate the mudblood disappearances. As of now, we only go to the Ministry to conduct personal matters as to not raise too much suspicion. It would also be advisable to increase monthly donations. Keep in mind; our Ministry still maintains an outside friendliness towards muggles and mudbloods. Now, on that same note …."

Evan Rosier anxiously rubbed his hands together. How much longer would this go on? He exchanged nervous looks with Nott. As soon as Lucius would mention dropping the muggleborns as servants, that would be his opportunity. His moment. Rosier understood this would be a gamble. Either his seat would advance, or he would be criticized so badly, showing his face at the table again would be an embarrassment.

This wasn't about the red-haired servant or sparing mudbloods. It didn't bother Rosier if they lived or died. Wilkes, Mulciber, and Nott had insatiable appetites that demanded to be fulfilled at whatever cost; be it fighting each other bloody or releasing it on a disposable mudblood. Rosier considered himself above them. He didn't need a constant release; just a desire to be recognized. But how could he? What feat could Rosier ever dream to achieve that wouldn't be drowned in Severus' shadow? That bastard already had a seat right across from Yaxley. Severus was intelligent and had a silent maliciousness few dared to provoke. It was obvious why he was chosen as favorite above all the others.

"…. Preparations for the wedding are going along well, I hope?" Lucius asked Rabastan. "Has Astrid agreed to hold the ceremony and reception here?"

"She has. She plans to visit for the weekend to pick the rooms. We're thinking of inviting some prominent Ministry members as a kind gesture – "

"Are you gettin' rid of the mudblood servants?" Wilkes interrupted.

All eyes at the table turned to him. Rabastan looked furious, but feigned politeness. "I beg your pardon?"

Wilkes gaped blankly and looked at Rosier. "Wot do I say?"

Rosier kicked Wilkes from under the table. "I … believe my colleague is inquiring about the servants." Rosier tried his best to mirror the cool, collected demeanor of his superiors. "The mudbloods?"

Lucius looked at him with an icy stare. "I do not see how that pertains to the topic, but I have decided I want no more of them in my house. It would not be in our best interest to invite Ministry officials to the wedding with their missing muggleborns serving them. We'll have only house elves by then. Any mudbloods found on raids will be instantly disposed of."

Rosier felt a twinge of panic. "Is there no purpose for them?"

"No, Rosier. They no longer serve a purpose under my roof or anywhere else."

"I disagree."

The table went silent. Some of the Death Eaters who already heard his proposition muttered to each other and left the room.

"Is this meeting over?" Yaxley whispered to Lucius.

Lucius curtly nodded, but didn't take his eyes off Rosier. Several more Death Eaters left the dining hall. The ones standing eagerly approached the table, hoping to sit down and listen. As soon as Lucius flicked his hand at them, they followed suit and scurried out. Rosier's audience was a fraction of what he hoped. To his displeasure, Bellatrix and Severus remained behind. Wilkes, Nott, and Mulciber stayed as well. Lucius rose from the head of the table and slowly paced around the room. "Evan Rosier. I hope for your sake that you have a good reason for disrupting this evening's meeting."

"I believe I do."

"And what exactly is that reason?"

Rosier swallowed. "Mudbloods."

"Mudbloods?"

"Yes … sir."

"And what about mudbloods that is so bloody important?"

The stares from the table scrutinized every inch of him. Bellatrix looked ready to blow him to bits at any moment. Lucius glared at him with annoyance. Mulciber, Nott, and Wilkes ginned stupidly at each other. Severus was the most difficult to read. He just sat there patiently, just waiting for Rosier to slip up. The pressure was almost too much for him. This was not the audience he had hoped to reach. As beads of sweat dripped down his face, Rosier began to regret ever coming up with this plan. There had to be an easier way to earn a higher seat; a way that didn't threaten his reputation. It was too late. He had their attention. If Rosier wanted his well-deserved seat near his superiors, Severus would have to be outdone … or forcibly replaced. After all, he still had dirt on the bastard. If his fellow Death Eaters didn't respond well to this madness, he still had the dirt. Evan Rosier collected his thoughts and had no other choice but to recite his idea.


	25. No Longer a Servant

_**(Disclaimer)**_

"I can't bloody believe this shit. _This_! Coming from our own men! What's next? Breeding with werewolves and giants?!" Bellatrix stormed down the corridor. Anyone caught off-guard by her approaching footsteps was immediately shoved aside. "Lucius is a damn fool for letting this disgrace take place within these walls."

"Bella, my husband handled it the best he could! Nobody is taking this rubbish seriously! He said so himself!" Narcissa was jogging to keep up with her sister. "It's not required, anyone can volunteer – "

"Volunteer?!" She shrieked. "How pathetic would you have to be to volunteer for this bloody nonsense?!"

"Bella, please! This was Evan Rosier's idea, not mine or my husbands! Evan and his perverted friends! The agreement is that somebody else must volunteer other than Evan. You saw the looks on his friends' faces! Wilkes, Nott or a desperate schoolboy will volunteer!"

"I know this was bloody Rosier's idea, Cissy! I was there when the bastard said it! Lucius should have shut him up right there."

"It's an experiment! If all goes as planned, this will be extremely beneficial when it's time to take control of the Ministry! If it doesn't work as expected, the mudblood and offspring will be disposed of and we move on! Now, Bellatrix, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop insulting my husband over this!"

Bellatrix twisted her face and sourly called out for her husband. "Rhodolphus! Send for a house elf to pack my things! The Dark Lord will be most displeased with Lucius and any of you who allow this plot to fester under your noses! I refuse to be involved with this revolting abomination! Rhodolphus!"

"Coming, Bella!"

Bellatrix turned to face and point at the rest of the Death Eaters. "Which ever of you bloody idiots feel the urge to waste your seed procreating with mudblood whores; you have no business being a servant to the Dark Lord!" She kicked a servant. "I've seen enough filthy mudbloods crawling around this place. I've had enough!" She pulled out her wand. Green light flooded the corridor and the servant crumpled to the side. Bellatrix didn't look back and kept yelling at her sister. "There are times you need to stand by your husband, Narcissa, but this certainly is not one of them. Mother and father would be very disappointed with you."

"Bella, sister, please!" Narcissa chased after her sister, ignoring the dead servant in the corridor.

Another meeting, and Rosier's grand idea was unveiled. Initially, Lucius revealed it as a joke, but once Wilkes, Nott, Mulciber and others started asking questions, it became slightly more serious. As the Death Eaters filed out of the room, they muttered and yelled at each other over differing views of the situation. Some were in favor of it due the limited gene pool to choose from; some magic blood was better than no magic blood; the potential of having an army; and providing an opportunity to gain the trust of Ministry officials. Many others were vehemently against it. They insisted it was no different than breeding with animals and defeated the entire purpose of eradicating the world of muggles. The rest considered this proposition to be a joke that would lose its humor after a week. All the Death Eaters were so caught up in their discussions, nobody noticed Severus stayed behind.

As soon as all the Death Eaters cleared the corridor, Lily walked through carrying a basket of freshly laundered clothes. The sight of the fresh corpse made her stop in her tracks. It disturbed Lily how desensitized she was to it. It was a dead woman. Nothing more. Nothing less. Lily swallowed, and pressed on. The clothes had to be delivered to Crabbe upstairs.

A Death Eater suddenly emerged from the dining hall and startled Lily; she tripped over the corpse's splayed arm and went tumbling to the ground. The basket of clean, perfectly folded clothes went up in the air, and then landed on the floor. Lily cursed her clumsiness; when she saw who the Death Eater was, she cursed her luck. Quickly she got to her feet and grabbed whatever clothes were in her reach to throw them in the basket. She could worry about folding them later.

Severus looked down at her. Lily was purposefully ignoring him. He could feel it. She loathed him, and rightfully so. She would loathe him more soon enough upon realizing what he just signed her up for. Severus signed up as a volunteer and claimed Lily as a partner.

He could see right through Evan. This whole fabrication was intended to be a jab at Severus. Somehow, that sneaky bastard pieced together there was some sort of connection between him and Lily. Thankfully, Lucius heeded his word, and let others volunteer first. If Rosier had his pick of the servants first, he would have taken Lily in a heartbeat. Once Rosier had her, there wouldn't be much point in obeying his own proposition. He would have abused and tortured Lily to bloody bits.

"What are you looking at?" Lily glared up at him balefully. "Well?"

But Rosier didn't have her. Severus did. And now, there was no other choice but to honor the proposition. Lily would have to carry a child. His child. This nightmarish situation wasn't anything at all like the dreams or fantasies. There wasn't eager excitement or joy, let alone the foundation of consent. What would Lily think of any of this? As if she needed any more reason to despise him. There was no way on hell or earth Lily would willingly agree to participate.

Severus went cold. What if he would have to force her? Supposedly he could spike her drinks with a love potion; however the end result would be a loveless spawn, and Lily would eventually have to be taken off of the potion. Severus thought about threats and curses, every single one guaranteed Lily would resent him for the rest of their lives. Would he have to force her? The image of Avery Nott tying Lily down, and tearing her clothes off burned in Severus' head, but Nott's face was replaced with his own. _"This would be much easier if she loved you."_ The snide voice sang.

"Leave the basket." Severus said tonelessly. Rape was out of the question. He would have to earn her trust back. "You're not a servant anymore."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You're no longer a servant. Come with me, please. There's a lot to explain."

"Go fuck yourself. I'm not going anywhere."

"It's important. If you don't leave with me, you'll leave with someone else and I won't be able to help you out of it." There was that hint of pleading again.

She was already walking away. Lily turned her head and said slowly, "do as you will."

Severus clenched a fist. Lily's stubbornness could be incredibly infuriating. "I'll ask one more time. Please come with me."

Before Lily could give a cheeky retort, Evan Rosier burst from the dining hall. "YOU!" Full of rage he pointed his wand at Severus. "YOU MOTHERFUCKER! YOU SLY, THEIVING MOTHERFUCKER!" Nott and Wilkes were right behind him, wands also drawn.

Severus gave her an I-told-you-so look as he drew his wand. Lily didn't need any more information. She dropped Crabbe's laundry and sprinted out of the corridor as fast as her legs could carry her. Severus certainly did have some explaining to do. No longer a servant ….


	26. Three Halves

_**(Disclaimer)**_

"WHAT?!" Lily shrieked at Severus. "You! You signed me up for WHAT?!" She threw another book at him. This one barely missed him. "Couldn't keep your dirty nose out of my business for too long, could you? Had to find another way to control me! What the fucking hell is wrong with you?!"

"Would you stop that!" Severus managed to deflect that book, it was a matter of seconds before she would hurl the next one.

"I said I want nothing to do with you! And this is what you do?! Keep back!" Lily picked up the next book. "Leave me ALONE!"

"Why can't you bloody understand that I – "

" _I didn't have a choice_!" She mocked him and took aim. "Save your breath, I don't want to hear another word of it! Go to Malfoy or whoever oversees this madness and tear up the contract!" Lily threw the book. "I'm not doing it!"

Severus managed to catch this one and he roughly tossed it aside. "Are you out of your mind? Do you know what would happen to you if you're forfeited? Why don't I just hand you over to Rosier and his friends? I'm certain they'll take better care of you! Or better yet, why don't I just kill you now to get it over with?!"

"Oh, you would bloody love that, wouldn't you?" Lily groped around for another book, but the shelves on her side of the room were empty. All the books laid on the opposite side in a dusty heap. As a matter of fact, Lily wiped out her side of the bedroom. All his belongings, minus the heavy furniture, were piled on his side of the bedroom. There was nothing left for her to throw at him. Spilled potions, broken glass, ripped parchment and splayed books.

"I'm not going to do anything! I just want you to sit down and listen for one fucking minute!" Severus gripped one of the armchairs. "Are you about done destroying my shit? Throw something else, and you're Evan Rosier's problem! Sit."

Lily clenched her fists and bitterly stared at him. How dare he speak so condescending. Nothing would please her more than to be as far away from Severus as possible. Nonetheless, the idea of being partnered with Rosier was enough incentive to sit down in the armchair. "This is beyond fucked up, and you bloody know it." Lily grumbled under her breath. "There is no way in hell I'm participating in this abomination."

"Have you calmed down now?" Severus sat across from her. "Good. Now, before I was interrupted, I did mention the silver lining."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I fail to see how being stuck as your roommate again is a silver lining. That worked out brilliantly last time, didn't it?"

He shot her a nasty look at that remark. "As I was saying; we won't have to do anything. I signed us up for the last slot. And the slots are spread out over six or more months. Last time I checked, there were about three or four volunteers ahead of us. That gives us two years at the very least."

"Two years?"

"Maybe more. It's going to take some time to yield results; that is if the program isn't dropped before then."

"Two years." Lily glared at him. "A lot can happen in two years. Alright. Say the program is dropped. What happens to the breeders and their offspring? They won't set us free, for sure. The Malfoys aren't interested on keeping us as anymore, so we can't go back to being servants."

"How did you know?"

"I eavesdropped, it's not exactly a secret. Now, tell me, what happens after the program is dropped?"

"That would all depend on the outcome of the program. With any experiment; there is always risk, variables that could go wrong. I can't imagine the other servants would take too kindly to being partnered. There will be outbursts of rebellious behavior, deliberate complications and maltreatment, possibly suicides. And of course; the end results. If the results aren't nearly as perfect as Rosier promises; it's going to cost him his reputation along with all of us involved."

Lily gritted her teeth. She didn't give a damn about the reputation of a sadistic Death Eater. "Don't pussyfoot. Answer the bloody question. What happens after?"

"What answer do you want? You already know."

Lily ignored the nervous tension in his voice and pressed on. "What happens to me?"

"I haven't bloody thought about it!" He shouted, slamming a fist on the armrest. "Is living that much of a fucking inconvenience for you?! Why can't you get it through your head that living up here is better for you than dying down there?!"

"Better for me?! Or better for you!" Lily matched his volume. They were in another angry silence. Severus didn't dare repeat his confession. It was already bad enough that he would be reminded of her rejection every waking hour from now on. The circumstances were grim, she loathed him, but he was willing to give it all to keep Lily safe. Lily, on the other hand, refused to acknowledge the gesture. Showing a shred of gratitude would give him power over her. "Two year later, say the program continues and we're next on the list. Then what?"

The air went cold. Severus dropped a cigarette, but didn't pick it up. He was foolish to hope Lily wouldn't address the disturbingly obvious ultimatum. "Well … that's … erm …" He started slowly. "We're going to have a rather awkward conversation …" The disgusted look on her face was enough for him to shut up.

Lily didn't say anything; trying to clear her mind of the image. She changed the subject. "I don't fancy the idea of being locked up here for two years." She looked around the room miserably. "I'm going to be bored as shit up here …"

"You can start by putting my room back together." He said dryly.

Lily stared at him. Words couldn't describe how badly she wanted to strangle Severus. Wherever she went, he would be right behind her and simultaneously two steps ahead. Manipulative, controlling, and annoyingly cynical. Once more, Lily would be trapped with him. Sharing a room last time was frustrating. However, since she was no longer a servant, she could roam the castle, eat, and use the lavatory whenever she pleased. This cramped tower bedroom was already too small for one person. Forcing another was a bloodbath waiting to happen. "That's your half of the room now, I'm not picking it up." She decided not to be a passive roommate.

"Seriously?"

"If you want me here so badly, bloody deal with it. You've got your half of the room, I've got mine."

Severus huffed at her. "Like you have shit to put on your side, anyways. Are you going to be cheeky with me the whole bloody time?"

Lily ignored him. "I also want the bed transfigured into two. You're the one with the wand, so you'll have to figure that one out …"

"I'm not changing the damn bed! It's going to be cramped enough in here already without two fucking beds!"

"Two smaller beds, idiot! You're barking mad if you think I'm sharing a bed with you. I guess we're back to switching nights then …"

"Absolutely not! I'm not sleeping in a fucking chair for another night! This is my room!"

"Fine!" Lily stormed over to the bed and started building a wall down the middle out of blankets and pillows. "Your half! My half!"

"No, no! The desk is on your side! I need the desk more than you do! We're switching sides."

"Fuck you! I'm not sleeping by the door! I want the side with the window!"

"I've had enough of this!" Severus drew glowing lines on the floor that divided the room into thirds with his wand. "You get the side of the bed with the bloody window! I get the side with the fucking door! The fireplace, chairs, and desk; open territory!" The glowing lines disappeared, but left black, charred marks behind. "We're done arguing about this!"

Lily wasn't done, but didn't think it wise to test him further. She just blankly stared out the window while he sorted through his things by hand and repairing whatever she destroyed, cursing and muttering to himself. He had too many things. Only mere weeks after Lily cleaned out his room, Severus somehow managed to return it to its messy chaos. Old books, cigarette butts, and parchment. Somehow, he managed to get his hands on more items since her absence. The smell of stale smoke was a minor comfort compared to the moldy basement. Lily looked out of the window and daydreamed about exploring the forest below.

While Severus reorganized, he found a folded piece of parchment. A note. It wasn't in his handwriting. It must have been slipped under the door while they were arguing.

 _WATCH YOUR BACK, HALF-BLOOD._


End file.
